Show Me That I'm Better | Post Malone

XXVIII

She was praying for a fire, for the engine to blow or a giant Great White to puncture the hull. Anything to stop them from reaching her mooring again.

She could feel herself melting into him, pieces of her resolve dissolving each second she was around him. She could be herself, she didn't need to put on a front or impress him, she was free to just exist. He seemed to like her just existing.

She knew her disposition had changed at the mention of heading back, she had tried to hide it, not wanting to ruin the rest of their time together. She had tried to put tonight's plans out of her mind and stay in the present, on her boat, on the water, with him.

His arms were still wrapped tightly around her as she sat between his legs. They had moved up to sit against the railing, their legs dangling over the edge catching the spray. They had sat like this for about 20 minutes, the roar of the engine and the splashing of the waves filling the silence.

His read on her was improving, his understanding of her obviously growing each day. Each slow, heavy breath, sigh or nervous fidget was met by a reassuring squeeze or gentle nuzzle and God was it working.

"I'm going to be right there." He whispered in her ear, his chin perched on her left shoulder as his thumbs brushed gentle strokes on her skin. "You have nothing to worry about darlin."

"How are we going to play this? I mean we've used the wedding as a reason for us spending time together with everyone else, we can't exactly do that with them."

"How do you wanna play it?" He asked calmly, staring straight past her into the horizon.

"I don't know." She sounded defeated, the thought of going out tonight already weighing on her mind, the idea of having to lie to everyone there only adding it. "I feel like there's no option but to lie. Gia called yesterday and when I accidentally mentioned not being in LA I panicked and told her I was at my cousin's."

"Well we can go and act like nothing's different but hang out some tonight, use tonight as the turning point?"

She sat considering his suggestion for a few moments. It made sense, if they kept the first few friendly interactions public there would be a lot less questions for both of them.

"But I promise baby, I will be right there with you. It's going to be an early night anyway and I'm not going to drink, if it gets too much or you have had enough, we bail."

***

"What time are we supposed to be meeting everyone tonight?" Austin asked as they walked through the door.

"I think Gia said 8:30..." she placed her bags down on the hall table and closed the door, latching the three locks.

"So we have time for a nap?" He asked with a  hopeful smile, grabbing her hand again and lacing his fingers with hers.

"God yes!" Her exhaustion suddenly hitting her, her stair case looking like her own personal Mount Everest. "Shower first, then nap."

They made their way to their rooms, his fingers sliding from hers as he headed to the spare room. She headed into her room, closing the door behind her as she slid out of her shirt and shorts.

She turned on her shower, allowing the water to heat up, checking in the mirror to see if she had managed to avoid any sunburn before sliding out of her bathers. Her eyes landed on her stomach and the raised lines littering it as she traced her fingers over them.

Each touch of her finger took her back to yesterday and being in the springs with him. The way his hands had lightly traced over her skin, feeling the rise and fall of each scar, and yet he hadn't reacted. He hadn't ripped his hand away in repulsion or stepped back from her, his eyes had remained locked on hers, his body still rigid in front of her.