*Austin's POV*
She had been in her room all day. He wasn't entirely sure what had happened, one second they were on the couch together, intertwined, the next she was pushing away from him and had disappeared.
He had gone up to try and talk to her, to apologise for whatever he had done and try to make things right, but had overheard her talking. And crying. Fuck, again he had made her cry.
He didn't want to make things worse so he figured he would give her space. He didn't want to push himself on her if she wasn't ready, plus this gave him more time to try and figure out what had gone wrong and how to make it right.
The day hadn't been a total waste, with everything that was going through his mind he had managed to write the better part of a few songs. They still needed some work but it was more than he'd managed to accomplish so far.
He'd also finally given in and spoken to Dre, who had very graciously agreed to Austin spending the remainder of the week in Utah, before telling him that he had been booked for seven shows over the course of the following ten days.
He really didn't have it in him to argue, his mind way too distracted on the gentle creature upstairs to really give a shit about anything Dre was saying. He decided to just give in and agree to it and if the results next week came back positive, he'd do the shows. If the results weren't so great Austin knew he would have to bite the bullet and start telling people, they could figure out what to do about the shows for him. Fuck that's what he was paying them for.
He had returned to her door three more times throughout the day, gently knocking and patiently waiting for a response. When there had been none he had slowly retreated, admitting defeat and hoping that if he gave her a couple more hours, she would eventually give in.
His dad has called in the early afternoon to check in on him, concerned that he hadn't been hearing much from his son. Guilt instantly crept up his spine, he knew this was true and that there was one very clear reason for this. Austin idolised his dad, he always had. Richard was the man he wanted to be when he grew up, when he eventually grows up. He didn't like lying to people in general and the guilt was nagging at him about the whole situation, but hiding this from his dad was torture.
He lay on his bed with Spencer, trying to figure out how he got here. He knew that he hadn't exactly been living a clean, Christian lifestyle. There had been copious amounts of alcohol, had been drugs in the past, god fucking knows he was keeping Camel in business off his own back, not to mention his highly, highly active sex life.
That was where most of his concern was coming from he realised. Of course he didn't want his friends and family to be upset at the prospect of something happening to him, but god he really didn't fucking want the judgement.
He could imagine the fucking whispers and headlines now,
Bud Light and Camel's Poster Boy diagnosed with Cancer.
He could almost hear the echos of "I told you so" from around the globe. Just another fucking perfect example of how he's failed, how he's managed to fuck up and how he's not good enough.
These were the thoughts that kept returning to his subconscious the moment he was alone, the reason he had so desperately wanted her to be by his side. She had every reason in the world to judge him after the way he had treated her and yet not once had there been anything but complete understanding and patience whenever she had looked at him.
Her words were ringing in his ears as well, 'surrounded by liars'... Christ he knew how that felt. Sometimes he forgot she was who she was, forgot that she was more famous than him and knew the lifestyle better than he did. She was so down to earth, so easy going and easy to be around that she made it easy to forget.
He hadn't meant to upset her, it was more for himself, this lie of him being okay. He hoped that if he just told himself over and over that he was okay, eventually his body would be fooled into believing it.
It hadn't even been the cancer that had upset him this morning, not entirely at least. He had woken before her, she was nestled against him, gripping on to his shirt so tightly, her legs laced with his, and fuck it felt good. He had been managing to distract himself just fine with whichever random girl he found on the day, managing to avoid noticing how alone he felt, until she came along.
Austin was a relationship guy, he had always been happier in a relationship than on his own. Over the past couple of years however relationships had become a lot more difficult, a lot more complicated.
She had been that constant companion since she had confronted him. There had been no kissing, barely any cuddling and definitely no sex, but emotionally she had been there for him in every way, not once him having to ask.
It wasn't until this morning, laying with her on his couch, in his house, that he realised just how much he wanted this kind of relationship. A partnership, two equals being there for one another. Yes, she had certainly been there for him more than he had been for her but he knew there had been times where he had managed to comfort her, even if it was him that had upset her to begin with.
His feelings for her had changed completely in such a short period of time that it concerned him. He adored her. He wanted her around, wanted to be with her all the fucking time, whatever extent she would allow that to be. He had always been the all - or - nothing kinda guy when it came to girls but this was different. He genuinely cared about her and enjoyed her company, even if she was only willing for it to be platonic. When he wanted to talk, when he was alone, when he just needed someone to laugh with she was the person he was thinking of before anyone else.
His attraction to her was slowly becoming an issue as well. He knew he had to try and get a handle on it before it got away from him. But every little thing he was learning about her, every moment they were spending together was just making him want her, want to know her, more and more.
It had gotten to 5:30 and she still hadn't been out. Part of him was concerned about her in there, worried that something had happened to her and he'd just left her on her own, but the other part was just pissed off at her stubbornness.
He approached her door again, knocking gently on the wood as he listened for her voice, her soft crying, for fucking anything. Again he was met with silence.
"Delilah open the door." His voice was louder and more stern that he had necessarily intended for it to be, irritation hanging on every word.
He allowed her a few more moments before knocking again. "Del I'm coming in."
He stepped back, allowing her a few more moments to open the door before he turned the handle, letting himself in to her room.
He found her instantly in her bed, carefully making his way over to her. He could see she wasn't asleep, could see her somber blue eyes. He cautiously approached her, waiting for any kind of acknowledgement from her of his existence.
"Del?" He crouched at the bedside in front of her, searching her face for some kind of response.
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Show Me That I'm Better | Post Malone
Fanfiction"I have no right in asking this and part of me wants to feel guilty for asking. I want to go home, to Utah. Delilah will you come with me? I can't be alone, if something happens and I get sick again..." "Austin surely there are nurses you can hire...
