Show Me That I'm Better | Post Malone

XXXIII

"It's like I don't even recognise you anymore."

She'd heard these words twice today, delivered with two completely different sentiments. Words that continued ringing in her ear long after they were said.

Austin had gone upstairs to get changed and grab some towels while she waited downstairs and began setting up for their lazy afternoon by the pool.

She had grabbed a few different drinks, cut up some fruit, cheese and crackers, arranging them carefully on a platter before finding the sun tan lotion and making her way outside. She placed the platter and lotion on the large outdoor table and the drinks in the fridge, then began arranging the area.

She wheeled two of the sun lounges that were spaced sporadically around the pool, shifting them closer together and partially under the large sun shade and placed one of the small tables between them before setting the platter, lotion, a beer, a cider and two bottles of water on it.

She had hoped that keeping busy and organising would distract her a little, quieten down some of the small butterflies that were beginning to take flight in her stomach. This had been her idea, she had suggested this, yet now she was beginning to get nervous.

She knew it made no sense, yesterday she had spent the majority of the day in a bathing suit around him and had felt more comfortable and free than she could remember. At no point had he made her feel repulsive  or nervous, not once had he over stepped her boundaries. But that was the scariest part for her, with him, she didn't seem to have any boundaries.

She hadn't wanted to take the easy way out but her confidence had begun dissipating within seconds of sliding her jeans off. She thought that if she hurried, there may still be enough time to get out of her shirt, apply some lotion and make it to the safety of the water before he returned.

She had just gotten out of her T-shirt, standing with her back to the French doors, by the sun lounge in her dusty pink bralette and Brazilian cut panties, when she heard his footsteps. She had two choices, run to the pool and hope he didn't see it for the cowardly act it was or, stay. 

Fuck she was tired of running. She didn't want to run anymore, especially from him.

She heard his footsteps come closer and then suddenly freeze. She was scared to turn around, worried what might be painted on his face. She didn't honestly think it would be disgust but she knew with certainty she wouldn't cope if it was. She decided to play dumb, squirting some lotion on to her hand before she leaned over slightly and began applying it to her leg. 

She heard him take a deep, steadying breath, heard his jagged exhale before his foot steps resumed, slowly approaching her. She heard the soft thud of the towels being dropped on to the chair beside her, felt the gentle touch of his calloused fingers lightly drag along the skin on the outside of her thighs.

"You trying to kill me darlin?" His voice was hot and soft in her ear.

"I would never..." she teased with a smirk, looking back over her shoulder at him. His bottom lip was between his teeth, his eyes were dark, staring at her like he wanted to devour her in the best way possible.

"Can I?" He whispered in her ear again, her eyes still locked with his as she nodded her permission.

His hands reached around her, taking the lotion from hers and squirting some in his hand before placing it on the table.

"Tell me to stop..." he started, slight hesitation showing on his face. She nodded again, sparing him from trying to articulate his concern.

His hand tentatively landed on her shoulders, she could practically feel the nerves radiating off his skin, each movement slow and uncertain, the complete opposite of who he usually was.