Show Me That I'm Better | Post Malone

LIII

* Austin's POV *

"Then he'd make love to me."

Her words lingered in the air surrounding them for long enough to feel like an eternity.

"Del..." His voice was a whisper as he tried to find any slither of self control he could.

"I'm not glass Austin. I'm not a virgin either." Her hands landed on either side of his face as she held him steady, speaking deep into his eyes.

Fucking hell this was torture.

He had been thinking about this moment, praying for this moment for months. Within the first week of them spending time together he'd lost count of the number of times his mind had wandered, wondering how she would taste, how she would feel spread open and dripping wet for him.

Every part of him wanted to give in, to accept her words and give her what she was asking for. Her eyes held his and as much conviction as he could see behind them, he knew there was no way he would survive seeing any regret.
"Baby we don't have to rush into anything."

"We're not rushing. We've been taking it slow, you've been more than patient." Her thumbs slowly brushed over his cheeks as her hands held him close.

"Del I don't wanna push you too fast. I don't want you regretting anything between us."

"Baby if I don't push myself we'll never get anywhere. If it's too much I'll say so, I promise."  Her words washed over him, soothing him slightly as she pulled him to her lips, kissing him deeply.

He allowed himself to settle over her more comfortably, allowed himself to lose himself in her for a moment. His hand began tracing over her, following the curve of her waist before landing on her hip.

He had never been this close before. His hand mere inches from her, her bare legs open beneath him and he could already feel her heat radiating against his skin.

He pulled back from her, needing reassurance before her moved any closer that this was still what she wanted. He watched over her as her eyes remained closed for a few moments more, her breaths slow and heavy.

"Promise me this has nothing to do with tomorrow." He asked against her lips quietly, somewhat ashamed of the reassurance he needed.

Her eyes sprung open with his question. "What?"

"Promise me."

"Jesus Austin, no, it has nothing to do with that." His eyes remained on her, searching for any sign that she was unsure, any sign she was being untruthful.

He wanted to believe her, wanted to immerse himself in every aspect of her. He watched as her eyes darted away from his, he could see she was trying to contain her anxious movements for him.

Fuck, why did he have to know her so well?

Why did he suddenly have a conscience when it came to sex?

He had never been in this position before, never turned down sex with anyone. Now he was trying to  gently decline the offer from the woman he was in love with, whilst ensuring her feelings and their relationship remain in tact. He didn't even know where to start.

"Forget it, I'm sorry I said it."  She stammered out as she tried to move him off her. "Can you get off me please?"

"Del." He sighed out.

"Please let me up." Her voice was defeated as her eyes were locked on her hands, desperately avoiding him.

"Baby, please." His finger reached out, lifting her chin until her eyes met his, red and glassy and broken.