Show Me That I'm Better | Post Malone

XXI

She was in trouble here.

She knew it, no matter how hard she tried to ignore it, she knew he had gotten under her skin.

'I don't do this. I don't do relationships.'

She was constantly reminding herself, however every time her words played over in her mind, she knew she was in over her head.

She hadn't been lying when she had told him that, she doesn't do relationships. She had tried once, whilst still in school, however it had been enough to put her off, to build a few more rows of bricks on her walls.

It had been further confirmation to her that she didn't have anything worth offering and she would be safer not trying.

It hadn't been long after that that the older, sleazier men in the business had begun praising her on her development. The uncomfortable comments and inappropriate touches became a daily occurrence and quickly prompted her to continue with her brickwork.

There were four people in her life that she trusted. Four men, all of which were the closest thing she had to family. Men who had never sexualised or degraded her, only ever supported her and slowly gave her some reassurance that maybe, just maybe there were some decent humans left in this industry, in this world.

Maybe now there were five.

Everything about him was different, different to what she had anticipated him to be but also to what she had felt with anyone else. She had mastered holding people at arm's length, at only showing them what she wanted them to see.

He had already managed to disarm her.

She had grown accustom to avoiding people's touch as usually there was an ulterior motive behind it, her skin burning at the contact. His touch felt like cool aloe being applied to burned skin. It was hard enough for her to understand getting such comfort and relief from physical contact, but that it was coming from his physical contact was another thing.

They had been sitting by the fire pit, his fingers laced gently with hers, while her eyes studied his hand. It was so much bigger than hers, so much stronger, the skin obviously rougher. She knew that if he were to try anything, even while feeling unwell, she would have no chance of fighting him off.

Yet instead he sat with her, comforting her, caressing her skin gently. The thought of him stopping filled her whole body with dread.

Tears were beginning to form at her lash lines again as she struggled to understand the way she was feeling. She was completely conflicted as to whether she wanted to pull away from him or throw herself at him, allowing him to wrap her in his arms again.

She felt him move beside her, slowly shuffling closer to her and gently tugging her so she was closer to him. He cautiously wrapped his arm around her lower back, encouraging her to lean into him, her head coming to rest on his shoulder.

She was tired of fighting, tired of guarding herself so diligently.

"Come on, you look about as tired as I feel." His deep rasp broke the silence, her eyes rising to meet his.

"Sweet talker" she teased as he responded with a low chuckle.

She grabbed the pizza box and glasses as he put the fire pit out before grabbing the blankets and heading inside. He tossed the blankets on the couch in the theatre while she put the dishes in the sink, returning from the kitchen to see him waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs.

His hand was held out for her, she paused for a moment before accepting it, hearing him call  Spencer over his shoulder before they made their way up stairs.