Far Cry | JJK x OC

✔Chapter 32 // Becoming

So when are you going to accept yourself and show them what you can do?

Leah's words wouldn't leave Jungkook's mind. No matter how much he tried, they kept resonating in the back of his head like an incepted thought he couldn't get rid of.

Even though they had decided to stop training and go back home to rest and they hadn't touched the subject since, he still couldn't get over it.

Now there he was, in bed facing the ceiling with Leah soundly napping next to him, and yet he couldn't do the same. Every muscle in his body was pulsating from overuse during the day, his ribs were still uncomfortable in his thorax. And despite it all, he couldn't sleep.

What was he doing? Where was he going? Why did everything have to be so difficult?

For so long he waited to be physically healed so he could go and save the boys. Reality wasn't kind to him and bashed his ideas into the ground: injuries or not, he wasn't ready. Knowledge or not, talent or not. It didn't make any sense, he often thought. He wouldn't go and get himself killed, he just wanted to steal a radio, and yet he knew no one would help him or let him leave Omani village to do so unprepared. The locals' way of helping him was to make him stronger and Daniel preferred to make a warrior out of him so he could accomplish more.

And then again, he had the talent, the knowledge, the strength, and the will to become one. So why was it so difficult?

Changing and conditioning. He was conditioned to not fight, he didn't want to, and he didn't want to change that. He was scared of change, of opening successive doors until he didn't know who he was anymore.

But he had decided it was necessary. He had decided to make the sacrifice. So what about fearing change, wasn't the fear of failure worse? And wasn't he failing already?

He was trying. He kept on trying, every day. To become better, stronger, and ready to do what needed to be done. Yet every day he kept trying was also a day the boys were who knows where being treated who knows how. If they were even alive. Aaden's words came to mind and he gritted his teeth. Yes, he would also hope they would be in a corner somewhere safe, rather than being hurt, shot, or drugged.

He glanced at Leah. She was a fighter, she truly was. While he was considering morals and values, she was recovering from both overexerting herself and in general being weak from months of drug abuse. And who knew what other kinds of abuse she suffered, since she didn't remember it herself?

He turned to her, verified briefly she was silently breathing, and observed her serene expression. She put his efforts to shame. There she was, overcoming her fears and weaknesses, letting him help when she needed it, becoming stronger every day. And there he was, knowing he had the know-how and strength to get things done and complaining because he didn't want to. Hell, it was time to be done with all the bullshit.

He walked straight to Daniel's house because he imagined Aaden could be there to discuss the attack by the northern village or the defense of Omani village, or any other related topic. He was lucky because Aaden, Daniel, and a couple of men he didn't know were discussing something in Daniel's office when he got there.

Daniel was surprised to see him, and the other men, warriors by the tataus on their arms, eyed him curiously. Aaden didn't look surprised at all, but rather uninterested.

"I don't have the time today, Jungkook. We'll train tomorrow," he dismissed, turning back down to the desk in front of him and to the papers he was showing the men.

"I don't want to train, I want to fight," he stated calmly in response. He felt weirdly at ease.

Daniel, who was still observing him, glanced at Aaden, who stood tall and finally looked at him attentively.