Universe and Arizona

Part 128&129 - Your first day back to work after having Leila

A few months have gone by and you are all healed and back to your normal self. It's now time for you to go back to work, and Arizona will stay home with Leila.

You're both standing in the kitchen, Arizona is holding Leila.

Zona: "Are you ready for your first day back?"

You: "Yes and no. I have such mixed emotions. I don't want to miss Leila but at the same time, I've missed the hospital so much. But now I'm scared I'm going to be behind or not as good as I was before I left"

Zona: "You will be fine. Remember I told you, you're the best intern this hospital has had, well you're also the best resident they've had. They have all missed you over there. But me and Leila will miss you here"

You: "I miss working with you aswell. God, I better go. Don't want to be late on my first day back"

You give her a sweet gentle kiss on the lips, then kiss Leilas forehead and run out the door.

Arizona looks down to Leila in her arms.

Zona: "What should we do today then baby girl?" She says in a baby voice whilst stroking Leilas head.

You head into the hospital and first go to see Bailey.

Bailey: "Oh Drew, you're back! Oh wait, it's Drew-Robbins now isn't it? How's that beautiful baby of yours?" She smiles.

You giggle "yes Dr Bailey, Drew-Robbins now. And she's really good thanks, she's getting so big, not so little anymore!"

Bailey: "They grow up so quick" she pauses "anyway, you ready to get back to work?"

You: "Yes I am. Nervous, and excited but ready"

Bailey: "There was something I causally wanted to talk to you about. I didn't say anything to Robbins because I though I should speak to you first as it's your education"

You look at her confused "oh okay, am I in trouble? Have I done something wrong"

Bailey: "oh no you've not done anything wrong. It's about your fellowships. So as you know, you will need to start applying for your fellowships soon. But I have been contacted by a few hospitals already asking about you. Hopkins and Mayo want you, as well as two others. I just wanted you to have a think about what you want to do and well I'd love to keep you here, you are one of the best residents l've ever had and you are an extraordinary surgeon. So l'm going to offer you a fellowship here at Grey+Sloan, but if you don't feel like that's enough, I will take you on as an attending. You can skip the fellowship stage as you are already so skilled and ahead of your class. But have a think and let me know" she sits down in her chair.

You: "Oh wow umm, they all want me? Hopkins wants me? But how? I was pregnant and have been off so I couldn't have been that great?" You sit down in the chair opposite

Bailey: "that doesn't matter. Y/N, we always tell you how amazing you are. And now you have to see it with all these amazing hospitals reaching out and trying to get you to go work for them"

You: "Oh um okay. I don't know what to say. I better go, need to get to work. Please don't say anything to anyone yet, I need to think it all through first" you stand up.

Bailey: "Of course. Have a good first day back" she smiles.

You head up to the paeds floor and start your day.

Half way through through the day Arizona comes in with Leila. You're standing at the nurses station when you hear a baby cry.

You say to yourself: "I miss Leila, wait, that sounds like her"

You turn around and Arizona is walking towards you holding Leila.

You: "Hey. What are you doing here? Is everything okay?"

Arizona: "I'm sorry. She won't eat. She doesn't want to drink from the bottle. I think she wants to feed from you"

You: "Awe, she doesn't want the milk I pumped?" You say in a babyish tone as you take Leila from Arizona.

Arizona: "No. I tried, I'm sorry. She hasn't eaten and won't stop crying"

You: "it's okay, don't worry" you kiss Arizona on the cheek.

Just then Alex walks over.

Alex: "Leila! hello bubba what are you doing here?"

He holds her hands and kisses her head.

You: "I need to go feed her quickly. Are you okay to cover me for a bit?"

Alex: "Yeah course, go. My little niece is hungry" he smiles and walks off.

You turn to Arizona "come on babe, we'll go in an oncall room"

You go into the oncall room together and you start to feed Leila. Arizona looks down at the ground and you can see somethings wrong.

You put your hand on her thigh "Babe, what's wrong?"

She turns her head to look at you "oh umm, nothing" she forces a smile.

You: "Come on what is it?" You start to gentle stroke her thigh.

A tear starts to fall down her check "I just feel like a bad mum"

You wipe her tear "what the - why would you think that?"

Arizona: "I know this is going to sound bad or selfish or I don't know but I just don't feel as good as you. I mean you feed her and she's sad when you're not around. Like I had to bring her to you because she wants you. I love the bond you two have and how much you love eachother and I feel awful for this but I just can't help but feel - no, it's okay, I'm being stupid don't listen to me"
She tries to brush it off and act like she's fine. She looks away.

You: "Arizona. It's okay to feel like that. I know it must be hard with me feeding her and you can't do that. But she love you just as much as me and you know it. Yes I feed her but you know that she prefers you changing her nappy, she's good for you, when I try to change her she screams the house down" you giggle and turn her head to face you "and you get her to sleep quicker than me, I know it's hard babe. But remember what you said to me on the first day that you went back to work?" You gently smile at her

Arizona: "I said that it's just been a hard day for you both, it will be a better day tomorrow" she tries to smile but still looks sad

You: "yes, so take your own advice. Tomorrow will be better" you reach for her hand and smile.

She looks down and grips your hand tighter "okay. I'm sorry" she looks up and smiles at you.

You: "Don't be silly, you don't need to apologise for how you feel. I'm just glad you talked to me about it all" you wipe a tear that just fell from your eye. "now come give me a kiss"

She giggles and leans in, giving you a long sweet peck.