𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐲𝐰𝐨𝐨𝐝'𝐬 𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐝 {𝐀.𝐁}

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Austin's POV;

Chaos.

There is a scream from deep within me that forces its way from my mouth. It's as if my terrified soul has unleashed a demon that once lurked deep within my soul. A demon that holds me hostage against my own body, willing to not let me go not any time soon.

All I feel is anger–the undying feeling of anger pulsing through my veins at the thought that I couldn't be better. I know I'm hiding a truth from myself of how much this is really affecting me and I don't know how to handle these negative emotions, swelling deep in me.

Yet, these fists clench and my teeth lock up once the sound is out. The frown attaches to my face as I clench my jaw. This whole situation has had a negative effect on me, leaving me overwhelmed.

For the most part, addictions are stuff that's bad for you; that's how I am with anger. The sudden impulse of the anger consuming me whole without knowing how to handle these emotions.

I'm the definition of an emotional volcano. Feeling all these emotions of sadness and anger all at once. However, there are times where these emotions feel bruised, the same way as a physical bruise, leaving its mark on my skin.

It takes time to really show itself but when it does, it comes at full force. Sort of how I'm feeling now with the anger at myself of how I treated her and the heartache, sadness and grief I also felt.

Jumping out of Baz' car, my legs carry me all the way to Lillith. I don't stop as I push past so many people with loved ones because the only loved one I wanted to see was her. I needed to see her, okay and healthy in my arms.

Heart beating frantically and eyes wide with complete fear, my breathing wasn't fine at all either. I feet like on the verge of death as I want to just collide onto the concrete floor in front of the hospital to the though I could lose her.

"Lillith? Lillith Avery. What room is she in?" I ask the lady at reception as my legs impatiently wait to move again.

"Uh, sorry, Sir. Miss Avery has just went into surgery. Please take a seat and we'll let you know when you can see her,"a woman explains as she smiles hesitately with fear lodged in her eyes.

I knew that smile. She didn't mean it. There was something wrong that I couldn't place a finger on just yet. It was either Lillith or the baby. And I sure hoped to God that it was the baby.

I needed her. I breathed her.

Nodding quickly, I head to the waiting room as I pace up and down. All the possible things that could've happened to her rush through my mind, allowing my heart to pound loudly in my ears.

"Austin. Where is she? Is she okay?" Baz asks as he quickly ambles to me with Carolina by his side. His eyes told a different story, a story where he was also terrified for her well-being.

"Austin. Please. Is she okay?" Carolina pleads with her frightened eyes.

"No. I don't know," I harshly exclaim. "They won't let me see her until she comes out of surgery. I have no idea what's happening," I exclaim as my hands run down my face with frustration. I was about to lose myself.

《》

Half an hour has gone by. Baz and Carolina remain on their seats while he tries to comfort her. I also continue to comfort myself by pacing up and down the bright ivory hallway.

My mind is a chaotic mess with so many possibilities of what might’ve happened to the love of my life. It's just to much for my mind and body to handle in a matter of an hour.

"Mr Butler?" A nurse asks.

Ears perking up and eyes snapping onto her, I quickly dash to her side. "Yes? I'm him. Is she okay? What happened?" The words tumble quickly from my lips. I could tell she's frightened on how fast I approached her but I didn't care at all.

"Sir, calm down. I need you to take a deep breath–" she tries as her hands rise to gesture me to calm down.

I shake my head. "No, I'm fine. I'm serious. Is she okay?" I plead with her.

"Miss Avery has suffered a severe injury to her brain, ribs and face. We managed to do our best for the injuries for her face and ribs, and will continue to medicate her. However, this shock has also resulted in a coma," she expresses the terminology with a grim and sad look lodged deep in her eyes.

Heart dropping, I feel myself nearly about to hit the ground before Baz and Carolina steadily hold me upright. Lillith? In a coma? No, this can't be.

"This coma may last a few days, months or even years. We're not sure yet," she continues on as she holds the clipboard to her chest and watches me silently.

"No, this can't be happening. Can I see her? Please? Wait, but the baby?" I whisper as my eyes snap onto her once again. My face pleads with her, the desperation laced with my voice as I try everything to let me see her one more time, if it had to be.

"The baby is okay," she smiles with a nod. My heart fills with glee and happiness, relief washing through me. "It may be hard but he's still eating from the medications we're sending through and some food. But other than that, you can come and see her," she agrees with a small smile on her lips.

The relief washes through me as I say a quick goodbye to Baz and Carolina before I go to see the love of my life. I knew they would see her eventually but I had to see right now, no minute later.

Taking an elevator to her room, we amble through the hallways with so many patients filled in their rooms. Even loved ones visit them, saying their goodbyes or just hanging with them.

As the nurse opens the door to Lillith's room, my eyes fall onto the woman who caught my heart. Her face is pale, once pink lips melting into a white liquid colour and body so still on her back. I would've thought she was gone if I didn't hear the machines beeping.

"Talk to her. She can still hear you," the nurse smiles lightly. "I'll leave you two alone for a few. Call me if you need anything," she continues on before closing the door behind her. I knew she had more important things to do than to see the whining boy cry for someone.

Heart thumping loudly, I feel like I can't breathe. The oxygen escapes my lips and comes back in but I can't feel it go to my head. It feels all so hazy and dizzy like a complete nightmare.

I fall to my knees beside her bed as my hands grip her cold and pale hands. The tears also manage to fall down my cheeks as I try to allow my presence to be enough for her to wake up.

"Hey, Doll face," my voice cracks. I had so many emotions to let go so I do just that. "I'm so sorry, baby girl. I'm sorry for being the biggest jerk and I'm sorry for being so damn selfish. If you just could wake up, I'll show you how good I can treat you. I can show you the better man I can try to be. Just wake up for me, please?" The promises leaves my lips. I have so much hope for her.

"I know you don't want this child, and I'm sorry for pushing my views and wants on you. If you abort it, I know it's for the best. As long as you're with me and ready, I'll do anything for you. I promise you with every fibre of my body," I continue on with the tears drenching my already wet lips.

"Just open those blue eyes, baby. Just come back to me and I swear I'll make it your worthwhile. I have so many things I want to do with you. Like I want to get married and I want to take you to Venice for our honeymoon. I also want to have kids when you're ready. I want to go skydiving with you and I want to grow old with you," I pour out my desires to do with only her.

"Through this, I'll be here everyday. Don't think for one second I'll leave you. All you have to do is hold on and I'll be at the other side of the tunnel. I'll help you through this no matter what. You're mine, always mine, and forever mine," I whisper on as my lips collide with her cold forehead, feeling her touch.

"And I love you, to the moon and back."

《》