I don't ever want to lose my best friend (Vic Fuentes )

With Heaven above you, there's Hell over me.

Chapter 45

Silently,  I crossed the backyard towards the  burning light by the beach.  Empty  red cups and beer  bottles were scattered across the  lawn. Chairs were  left unfolded , some upside down it looked like a tornado had hit. Indication that everyone had a good night.

My  pace slowed as  I approached the girl  in a  large grey hoodie, my grey hoodie and a blanket around her legs. She sat there  deep in her  own thoughts, the light of the fire reflecting in her eyes.

My stomach was  in knots and my palms sweaty but I carried on, ignoring this feeling. Its only Tammy

“mind if I join you?”  i said  trying not to scare her.  She nodded , not at all startled. She knew i was here

I sat in the lawn chair next to her. It was  quiet, the only  noise came from the crickets in the  field.

“Im sorry I passed out”   Great Vic, This wasn't the way  we  planned to start the conversation.

She  laughed.

“Why are you sorry for  passing out?”

I shrugged  , but realizing she  didn’t see.

“Im not sure”  we both fell silent again.

“So .. This is for you”  I sat up straight and handed her a rose. She smiled, taking it and bringing it  to her nose to smell.

“Thank you, its beautiful” her voice was soft.

“Well you would have had more but your  grandma kind off stole them”   I said scratching the back of my neck.

She just burst out laughing. Causing me to smile. my nerves eased a bit. 

“I saw that, shes has a cougar crush on you” 

“EWW  Tammy! don’t say that.  That’s  just wrong.”   

“Oh common, the world knows it. Whats wrong with my Nona?” she teased.

“Tammy, don’t get me wrong, shes one fiery babe but shes not the one I'm after”  my  words came  out so fast, too easily  I had no way of stopping them. I was caught up in the moment. Tammy froze, looking at me confused.

“What?”

“umm.. Noting.”  Mentally slapping myself

“Umm sure, okay”  I knew she wanted  me to answer, she hated when I started something but never finished.  I took a  big breath and let it out slowly.

“Listen, I wanted to take you away earlier and talk. Talk about what happened, about us”

“But you decided to drink instead?”  there was annoyance in her words.  I sighed.

“Yah, and I'm sorry. Its just Danny came, and he ruined everything”  she looked a  bit taken back by my words.

“How so?” 

“ugh , I don’t know where to start...” Running my  hand through my hair as i scrabbled for the words  i wanted to say. I had everything all planned out but now my mind was blank. I stood up and started to pace  deciding to just lay my heart out on the line, before this chance was gone too.

“I.. this sum…. this summer shouldn’t have turned out this way.  I did not intend on fighting with you, the one person that means the world to me. I did not intend on going out with  a lying psychotic bitch. I did not intend to leave you in the hospital, I did not intend to make you cry or push you away.  Everything I did to you this summer, Tammy. I am truly sorry. From the bottom of my heart, i am sorry.  I didn’t  know what I was doing, I was  mad and  jealous and confused.   Mad because you were happy without me, I brought you with me on Warped cause i couldnt be withouth you but yet you were fine. Jealous because you had Danny to take care of you.  Confused because  I...I couldn’t  piece together  my feelings for you.”