Sweetest Rebellion

Chapter 46

Isla's POV

...

There hasn't been a day that felt whole since then. Sa bawat araw na dumadaan ay lalo lamang bumibigat ang nararamdaman ko. Walang araw na hindi ko tinanong sa mundo ano ba ang nagawa ko para danasin lahat ng ito.

Reagan used to say that I had the kind of eyes that saw things differently. Ironic now.

"Para kang laging nasa pagitan ng totoo at panaginip," she'd whisper, habang nakahimlay sa ilalim ng dilaw na liwanag

I wake up and everything's still gray. Kahit saan lumingon, at makailang kurap man, unti-unti, dahan dahang tinatanggap ko na. It will always be gray from now on.

The same gray it has been since what happened; the one that left my life devoid of color. No more warm blues. No soft lilacs. No crimson sunsets that I so love. Just tones. Just shadows. Just outlines of the world that used to be full.

Her rich mahogany eyes that hold the warmth of a thousand sunsets, deep and endless, reflecting the whispers of autumn's golden embrace, is now just a memory to me.

Nang mabulag ako sa kulay, nabulag din siya sa alaala ko. At sa pagitan ng pagkawala naming dalawa, nawala rin ang mundong sabay naming binuo. Ang alaala naming dalawa ay nilamon na ng dilim tulad ng liwanag na pinatay ng dapithapon.

Hindi lang mundo ko ang naging abo, pati ang bahagi kong minsan niyang minahal, unti unting binura ng kapalaran. I used to see her in every hue, in every shade. But now, even in the darkness, her name became a question I no longer know how to answer.

She forgot me... and yet, I remember her with every breath, every blind stare into a world we once colored together.

Narito pa rin siya sa bawat tibok ng puso ko. Mahal ko pa rin siya sa parehong paraan, sa parehong lalim. And I think that's the cruel thing about love. Even when it's forgotten, it still remembers.

And so no matter how painful and heavy it got, I promised to bring light back into her world. I am more than willing to do anything and everything for her if it meant giving her back the colors she once brought into mine. I'll do it. Kahit pa kapalit nun ay ang natitirang liwanag sa buhay ko.

Because loving her has never been about being remembered. It has always been about making sure she lives fully, freely, beautifully. Even if that life no longer includes me.

And that truth, soft, aching, but alive, carried me across the hallway that day.

"Hindi mo kailangang gawin iyon, Isla." Tita Yvon quietly told me

River and Ruelle took me straight to Tita Yvon after dragging me out of the Doctor's office I was previously at.

Mariin akong tumitig sakanyang ina habang sinasabi nito ang mga katagang 'yon saakin. She has the same soft, compassionate expression she always wore when she spoke to me. That very thing reminded me of her once more.

"We will eventually find someone else. Please don't put yourself through this. You already went through so much, anak." She took my hands in hers and assured me.

A lone tear escaped my eye as I lightly shook my head. "Pero gusto ko pong tumulong." I insisted. "If I can give her my sight, I will. I'll do whatever it takes."

"And you think this... is helping?" it was Ruelle, making me shut my eyes

"Let me do it," baling ko sakanya. Her face darkened instantly. She stood from her chair

"No, Isla. Absolutely not." matigas na sagot niya

Sa pagkakataong iyon ay muli akong bumaling sa kanilang ina. "Tita, please," tanging nasambit ko.