Wolfgang (BangChan ff)

Ch-22 : Complicated

Felix: You have been awfully quiet. It's not like you to not mess around me and the boys. Is it because of Juno?

Chan kept silent so Felix spoke further.

Felix: I never knew you disliked her that much but you better sort things out because she's our alpha now. You might not like having her around but now she'll be staying here.

Chan: It's not that I can't stand her... Her presence just affects me.

Felix: In what way? I saw how you were glaring daggers at Yunho.

Chan: It's not like that!

Felix: I never mentioned anything!

Chan: Fine! I mean I don't understand myself because I say that I want a girl who is delicate, graceful, kind, polite and all but then I see her with someone and my wolf just goes crazy. But I think I shouldn't let my feelings come in the way. I'm an alpha and my mate concerns the pack. She'll do just fine as the alpha but for a luna I need to get someone who can fulfill that role properly.

Felix: I do feel like you might've been too quick to judge her. I thought she was rude when I first met her but now, I feel like she's just done with everyone's shit so she doesn't care about the people who don't care about her. I mean, she has so much going on. I can't even imagine how she might be feeling yet she manages to hold it all in. Just because she's not affectionate and bubbly doesn't mean she is a bad person.

Chan: I never said that she is a bad person. What I'm saying that as an alpha I need to be careful about who I choose as my partner because they will become the luna.

Felix: Oh, c'mon! She's your mate, don't you care about what she would feel?

Chan: She doesn't care, Felix.

Felix: She ACTS like she doesn't care, but she does. She rejected being the luna just so you could be with someone you really want to be with. If anything, that means she cares about you.

Chan: Then why didn't she just take the offer? We're mates after all. You know that mates have a bond which makes them inseparable once sealed.

Felix: You're so dumb. What would you even do without me? She doesn't want to force herself on you. She wants you to accept her willingly. Plus, with what her father did to her mother she would definitely not want to be with someone who she thinks doesn't want her.

Chan: Look, I'll be honest with you.

Felix: You better be because if I find out that you lied to me, you're done for.

Chan: I never expected my mate to be someone so young.

Felix: She's just 4 years younger. There are couples out there with a way bigger age gap.

Chan: I wanted someone mature.

Felix: Age doesn't define maturity. Also, you weren't what you are right now when you were 18. It took you time and you worked on yourself to get where you are right now. It took me time too to get here and you trusted me. You need to trust her too.

Chan: Trust? I just felt like she wasn't my type earlier. But then today we came to know about her being the descendant of Wang and I would be lying if I said it didn't anger me. So many people died because of that man and here she is supposed to be our queen?

Felix: Why did you bring her back then?

Chan: It would be inconsiderate of an alpha to let a young wolf run away no matter who they are. She is still a member of the pack and as an alpha I'm supposed to protect the people of my pack. And I did promise Yoonmin to keep her safe.

Felix: I lost some family members too but I can't blame her for that. She wasn't even born back then.

Chan: But she is still his daughter.

Felix: If people kept hating on her like that, just for having his blood, it won't be long till she gets fed up and turns against us.

Chan: That would just prove who she is.

Felix: No, some people turn out to be the way they are because of how they are treated. Especially trauma affects people's behavior because it literally changes the way they think but it ain't their fault. Because they for sure didn't ask for it. Everyone blames the trauma victims for their coping mechanisms but no one bothers to understand why.

Chan: Her trauma is caused by her own father.

Felix: But you are hating her for what he did. Her father caused her pain by leaving her and her mom, and you, are doing the same. You are going to leave her because you think she is not worth your time. Do you think you are any different?

Felix's bluntness pissed Chan off.

Chan: Don't you dare compare me to a power-hungry monster!

Felix knew he had crossed the line but he didn't regret it because he had to say what needed to be said.

Felix: I'm your beta and I will tell you if you're doing something wrong whether you like it or not. But I'm also your brother so you can't do anything about it but listen to what I have to say.

Chan averted his gaze and kept silent again.

Felix: You are not ready to accept her yet, I see. But I hope you don't let your hostility towards her show when you train her to become an alpha and work with her. I'll be in my room.

He walked towards his room but turned back to say something.

Felix: Also, I gave her your clothes and prevented her from sharing a bed with Jeongin, so you're welcome. You can crash at my room if you find the couch uncomfortable.

Felix left Chan in the living-room as he went to his own room. Chan was left alone with all sorts of thoughts running through his head as he stared at the ceiling in the dim light that lit the room partly in the dark.

He did feel a bit angry when he came to know about who you were but he would be lying if he said that he hated you. 

He hated the fact that he couldn't bring himself to hate you. He hated the fact that he had to constantly remind himself to stay away from you. When he heard that you ran away from the pack, he was worried even though he didn't show it. He kept asking himself if he should've been nicer to you. He was scared by the thought that he would never see you again. He wondered if he really lost you though he tried to convince himself that he never cared and that it shouldn't matter to him. 

But he hated the fact that deep inside he knew that he cared. He couldn't show it because there is an inner conflict going on inside his head whether he should let himself love the person he is meant to love, you, his mate, or resist his feelings and push you away because of your identity as a Wang. 

He still couldn't forget the moment he held you in his arms when you passed out in the forest. Something about having you in his arms felt so right. He remembered how he completely forgot that you were a Wang when you were crying in the forest and just wanted to keep you protected in his comforting embrace. 

He sure needed to thank Felix for stopping you from sharing a bed with Jeongin and wearing someone else's clothes since he did feel that possessiveness for his mate no matter how much he denied it. You looked really comfy in his clothes and he loved that feeling of making you feel safe in his clothes. 

Would things have been different if you weren't the descendant of Damon Wang? Part of him didn't give a damn about who you were but the other part said that it was what mattered. Would he have been able to love you easily if you were not a Wang? Well, he didn't know who you were when you first met, yet he didn't like you. But maybe like Felix said, he was being stupid and judged you too quickly. But now he didn't know if he could bring himself to be with you. Why did things have to be so complicated? These thoughts slowly made him tired and his eyes closed making him fall asleep.