HEARTSTOPPER ONESHOTS <333

Risk it all

Based off the song risk it all by the vamps RISK IT ALL

I am so exited abt this one I have been dying to write it for ages but have had so much shit going on that the thought of it made me sad but I'm okay atm so yayayayya

Charlie

It's lunch time and I'm sitting on the floor in Mr Ajayies room but this time I'm not alone. I am accompanied by 17yr old, captain of the Truham rugby team and my boyfriend of 1yr Nicholas Nelson. We often have lunch here. When I got bullied in yr 9 I used it as a safe space. So if I was having an off day or I simply wanted to be alone I came here. However, since dating Nick we use it as a place to be together as we aren't out yet. Well I'm out, but Nick isn't. We agreed that when we started going out we wouldn't tell anybody as Nick wasn't comfortable in his sexuality yet and I didn't want to force him to do something he didn't want to do. But, don't worry, it's not like a Ben situation. We talk all the time in school and to anybody looking in he just looks like my best friend. But nevertheless, it's still a little overwhelming, not being out I mean. Like don't get me wrong I am so very happy with Nick but sometimes I get the feeling the reason he doesn't want to come out is because he's embarrassed by me. I mean he would be dating a twink. He frequently tells me that it's not that and that he just "isn't ready" but it's a little depressing being someone's secret. Sometimes I wonder if he even views me as his boyfriend or just his boy-friend who he snogs sometimes.

"Hey what's up why aren't you eating" Nick nudges me. I realise I have just been fiddling with my food for the past 5 mins allowing all these thoughts to brew in my head.
"I'm just not that hungry" I say, closing my lunch box and putting it in my bag. I rest my hand on the table as I turn back to close my bag and I feel a warm grasp on it
"Char... c'mon it's me what's up" he looks me dead in the eyes, concerned. I can't tell him. I have to lie. I hate lying. Especially to Nick
"I'm just a bit stressed that's all" I swallow. So it's not technically a lie just... withholding information. He can tell I'm not telling him something. He gives me a look. Ugh.
"Don't worry it's just exam stress" Yep exam stress the perfect cover. When in doubt blame GCSEs.
"Don't stress, I know for a fact that you will do well. If I was able to pass all of mine you will 100% pass all of yours without a doubt in my mind." He gives me a soft smile. I reply with a small grin. Great. I have now lied to my boyfriend. He picks my hand up off the table and holds it in his lap, gently rubbing the back of it with his thumb. All of a sudden their is a small creak in the door and nick jumps upwards and begins to leave walking past Mr Ajayi
"Urm... by Charlie see you later" he clears his throat. Brilliant.
Mr Ajayi gives me a look
"I promise he's not like Ben" I look at him
"Yeh sure" he pouts "and you've been going out for how long now 12 months?"
"13"
"And he still reacts like that when I walk into the room" he shakes his head
I sigh and rest my head on the desk "I don't know what to do. I love him but I..." I can't think of how to frame my words
"Look, I'm going to give you some advice. Nobody and I mean nobody should be forced to be a secret. If you feel like you need more, tell him and if he can't accept that, end it."
"But sir it's-"
"-not that easy. I know Charlie I was a gay 16yr old once you know" he grins but I don't grin back "look Charlie I don't know what to tell you. I think you should do what you think is right"
Ringgggg
Brill. The bell.

——————

I see Nick waiting for me at the gate. Do what you think is right. What Mr Ajayi said keeps replaying in my head. Nobody should be forced to be a secret. I smile at Nick but stay quiet the rest of the walk home and just let him talk until he has to go. End it. Okay, I think I know what I have to do. When I get in I message nick

Me: hey urm can you meet me at the gate tomorrow before school
Nick🫶🏻: yeh corse is everything alr you seemed down today. Yk you can talk to me <3
Me: yeh no everything is fine I just want to see you before school that's all <3
Nick🫶🏻: alr Can you call ?
Me: no sorry I'm doing the drums atm maybe later sorry love you <33
Nick🫶🏻: Nws love <33

Okay. Everything is going to be okay.

——————

It's freezing cold but I make my way to school and see Nick standing at the gate waiting for me. His cheeks and nose have been bitten by the cold leaving them a reddish pink.
"Hey" he smiles
"Hey urm... I need to talk to you" I stutter
the smile fades from his face as quickly as it appeared. "Yeh course what's up?"
"I- urm i actually.... I think..." I'm struggling find the words
"Hey take your time what's going on" he places a hand on my back
"I love you. You know this. Which is why I'm struggling to find the right way to word this. I..... I think we would be better of as friends"
"What" he exclaims, his voice breaking
"I... I'm sick of being your secret nick. I'm sorry and I know that you need time to process who you are and I'm not trying to rush you in anyway but I think you need to do this on your own"
"But Charlie I-" I see tears forming in his eyes "you know how scary it is finding out who you are I mean you had to go through that so you can't blame me for it"
"I know and I'm not, but I can't just be a secret boy you snog every now and again. You can call me love, and your boyfriend but the words have no meaning if to everybody else I'm just 'Nick Nelson's twinky best mate'. I'm not saying that you need to come out right now, I'm saying that this is a discovery you need to make on your own and once you have made that I will gladly give this a go again but until then I think we should stay friends.... I'm sorry" I turned around to walk away leaving him there. This is what I feel is right, I just hope it is right.

Nick

I find myself standing at the school gates, tears rolling down my face completely stunned. He just broke up with me. I can't believe it. Charlie spring is no longer my boyfriend. I absorb the tears on my face with the back of my sleeve. Nobody can know I have been crying, especially not Charlie. I walk into school and rush to the toilets. Luckily I met Charlie early today so barely anybody is here yet. I splashed my face with cold water. What the fuck was I going to do. Charlie was my best friend, not just my boyfriend and I had just gone and lost him in a matter of minutes. Shit shit shit fuck fuck fuck. What the fuck am I going to fucking do. I gripped the edge of the sink so tightly my knuckles turned white. I felt like I was going to throw up. Breathe I mumbled to myself. I took deep breaths still clutching the edge of the sink. No nick this is stupid get a grip. The cold water hit my face once more and all of a sudden my brain clicked into gear. I shoved open the door to the semi crowded hallway and began to shove my way through crowds of untamed
yr 7s. Barging past everyone I finally find the exit and greet the snow covered floor with my feet. I scan the field from top to bottom but can't find him. Shit. I turn around to go back when out of the corner of my eye I see him. Standing by the gate in his beanie. His hands planted firmly in his pockets and his teeth chattering. I began to pace towards him. As I get closer to him I realise I don't know what I'm going to say. He seems to see me walking towards him and starts to head towards me with a look of misery on his face. He says something but I can't hear it anymore since every sense in my body has been blocked out. I reach him and just stare at him. He's so gorgeous
"What." he states
"Nick?"
I stare into his eyes, his gorgeous blue eyes and grab his face before kissing him. He stands with his mouth open.
"I love you Charlie please don't leave me" I muttered still holding onto his face
"Nick please tell me you didn't do this because you felt pressured by me I really didn't want that to be the-" I cut him off by kissing him again
"I did this because I love you and I would rather risk it by being out with you than to not have you in my life whatsoever." This statement sparks a smile on his face "I genuinely love you Charlie"
"I love you too"
Who gives a shit about the consequences as long as I am with Charlie everything is 100% okay.

1690 words