The Great Escape

L I I

Jaehyun's POV.

"Jaehyun I'll manage the company in the meantime. Have some time for yourself first" I lifted my gaze to Doyoung.

"No, it's fine. I can manage" I said.

"Jaehyun you've been here working 24/7 what are you even doing?" he peeked at the computer in front of me. "Are you crazy!? this work is still for next week!" he exclaimed.

"Damn you're so fucking loud. Just go off" I hissed.

"How about you get your stubborn ass off that swivel and breathe some fresh air!?" he fought.

I heaved a hard sigh as I leaned on my chair.

"I need to have something to do Doyoung otherwise I'm gonna go insane" I said, almost a mumble. But I guess he heard it since his feature softened. I avoided his concerned gaze.

I've been keeping myself busy and occupied as days became weeks and it's already almost a month since Lai disappeared.

The last time I checked, her belongings are still in my suite and I can't even go back now to see if everything is still there.

I hate how this feeling puts me in a fragile state. I feel demotivated, weak, unhappy, pathetic... and I hate to admit the fact that nothing ever makes sense now that she's gone again.

I am doing everything half-assly and I know it's already affecting the company.

"Just... damn just do something else. I'll have to repeat these papers again! aish fuck it" Doyoung complained as he snatched the folders from my desk. "Jaehyun you have to get your shits together! Acting like this won't bring her back to you" he started lecturing.

I brushed my hair up and loosened my tie, preparing myself to swallow the speech he was brewing.

"What if she's just fixing herself? it's been almost a month I know and it's getting frustrating for you to wait with such uncertainty.

But we already did everything to find her and we failed. She doesn't want to be found and all that's left for us to do is to wait for her to come back"

"what if she didn't?" I asked, trying so hard to keep my voice from cracking.

I'm willing to wait but what if it lasts too long and she'll never come back anyway. How about me?

I was fine being alone and cold from the start. I was used to it. But being alone after being warm with someone isn't something I want to experience again.

I need her and I hate the fact that I know to myself that falling for her was the greatest mistake I ever committed...

yet I'd gladly do it over and over again.

I fell too fast and I went down blazing. Too deep that I can't lift myself up anymore, and I think even if I could I wouldn't want to do it.

She was a catastrophe that hit exactly the moment I expected to be hit by one.
I have always thought life can't always go the way I want it, and some shits will inevitably come and twirl things that surrounds me... but it didn't occur to my mind that life will take its toll directly on me.

I thought having a bitter past is already enough, apparently, life isn't done giving me bullshits yet.

"Do you love her?" Doyoung asked, pulling me out of my reverie.