The Great Escape

L V

[author's note: italicized parts are
flashbacks]

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Lai's POV.

The death of my mother had me losing my mind. I did all I could do, I offered my everything, and I risked Jaehyun and his family to get her... this desperate measure had me committing several sins, yet I wasn't able to make it.

I was still unable to save her.

It was just too painful for me to bear that I had to isolate myself from everyone. I was terrified my grief would burden them.

I was afraid my lamentation will hurt them as well... especially Jaehyun.

I was a wreck. I felt so miserable and for the second time around I felt like ending it all again.

I lost myself and I didn't want to use Jaehyun any longer for my own sake. I have brought so much bullshit to him already and it's enough. I was afraid I won't be able to return his love if I stayed with him while I'm beyond broken.

I thought I'll only hurt him if I continued leaning on him... so I turned my back...

without saying anything.

He was not going to let me go, so I walked away when he assumed I just needed some space to mourn. I thought it'd be better to leave him hanging so he'll hate me for already doing it to him twice. I thought he'll resent me enough to move on easily.

Thinking about it was excruciatingly difficult for me, only adding sorrow to my heart... but as long as he'll be fine... I thought I'll be at ease.

I didn't know where to go, I have nowhere to go. I just drove away from the city, far enough from everyone. Head empty, heart aching, my hands brought me to the airport, and impulsively, I bought plane tickets.

I thought I'll be able to escape completely but I was wrong.

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"Lai you can't just turn your back on everyone! You can't keep doing this to yourself!"

I am already on my way abroad. To a specific place, I don't even know where. I just want to be away from South Korea...

But Winwin came running to stop me, I wonder how he found me when no one-- not even Jaehyun did.

"How did you even find me?"

"The possibility of you being like this again is high, so I followed you the moment you got out of Jaehyun's grip" He knew me so well and I'm starting to hate it.

"Just let me go Winwin, I want to be away for a while. I have to fix myself" I begged but he looked determined. His grip on my wrist suggests that he won't let me go.

"I thought you'd had enough of being alone!?"

"Yeah, but I think I'm bound to be alone forever" I tried to pull my hands away from his but he was stronger.

"Lai please don't do this... at least not to Jaehyun"

"This is why I'm doing this. Look at me Dong Si Cheng, do I look sane enough to be with him!? I don't wanna drag him in this darkness I'm in again!" I wiped my tears as I wasn't able to hold them anymore.