Humorous Crap #Wattys2016

Bored.

Well, I played some Tomodachi Life. I played Pokemon Rumble World. I organized my life. (Ha. I wish.) I even organized the organizers. *shows you folders within folders* My only options now are to either read some more scary stories, or write on my phone and upload it when I get to Gram's...
Eh. I might as well. Even though nobody is gonna see this...
So. How have you been?
Sometimes, when I'm talking to someone who I THINK is a good friend, they'll randomly leave. They've said it's just that they tend to have very short conversations, but I really don't know anymore. I've tried to convince myself that they're still my friend, but... Yeah. (Whoa. This is quickly turning from "random funny stuff" to "a glimpse into schwap's life". I'd better get back on track.) Hmm...what to talk about. You guys came here for humor, not depression, so I guess I'd better try to be funny. Wanna hear a slightly inappropriate joke? No? Well here it is anyway.
A police officer shows up at a man's house. The man asks him what's wrong. The cop shows him a picture and asks, "Excuse me, but is this your wife?" "Yes, what about her?" the man says. "It appears that she's been hit by a bus." the officer says, confused by the neutral expression on the man's face. The man then says, "I know, but she's a great cook!"
Get it? No? Don't care. Also, it seems that all I need to do to not be afraid of things behind me is to cartoonize them and put them in one of the "Schwap-Saves-The-Day" scenarios in my head. It seems cocky, but we all have them...right? Right?? Post in the comments if you have these, too. Speaking of seeming cocky(and posting in the comments), what do you guys think of my humor? Please tell me, I want to make you guys laugh :) So tell me in the comments down there *points to the comment box* What are you waiting for? Go do it! Also, SUMMER! Pools and spandex-encased buttocks! (I'm not a pervert, I swear o3o) I can't WAIT for the public pool near my house to open up ^^ Also, what's the deal with indoor pools vs. outdoor pools? The only difference is four walls, a roof, and maybe heating. But that's about it. Anyways, I'd better wrap this up.
See you later, schwappers!
Keep on crafting!
Buh-bye!