Bullies
Strategy One: Smartass Path
Whatever they say to you, strike back with an even better retort.
Bully: Smartass!
You: Well, the role of dumbass was already taken.
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Bully: Hey nerd, go kill yourself!
You: If I truly wanted to kill myself, I'd jump from your ego down to your IQ.
((But if they actually say 'go kill yourself', swallow your pride and go tell the teacher.))
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Bully: You're so fat, it must run in the family! Oh, wait! Nobody runs in your family!
You: Yes, well, your family tree must be a cactus. Everyone on it is a prick.
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Strategy Two: Tough Talker
They threaten you, threaten them back! Even if you can't carry it out, strike fear into their hearts as best as you can!
Bully: *insert threat here*
You: If you even try that, I'll kick your ass so hard you'll need to open your mouth to zip up your pants.
-<>-<>-
Friends
Want to make friends? First, watch everyone to see who you want to be friends with. Then, next time you get the chance, introduce yourself and ask if you can sit with them. It's worked for me. If they ask you to be their friend, don't hesitate if you think they seem interesting. Maybe try making friends with people you wouldn't usually--you might just find that those are the best friends of all!
As for online friends, just try striking up a conversation with someone if you run into them. It's kinda the same as IRL friends.
YOU ARE READING
Humorous Crap #Wattys2016
RandomThis is a book with stuff that's well, funny. I think. Probably not. Eh, who cares! Just read it!
