Humorous Crap #Wattys2016

Funny stories from when I was a young'n

1. The Pancake Spell
One time, when I rode the public school bus, I sat with a certain group of kids, and they convinced me that we could do magic. The first 'spell' they taught me wasn't just making fire, or sparks, or anything simple like that. It was how to make fckin pancakes. I even remember what you were supposed to say: 'Makus pancakus'. *facepalm* I WAS YOUNG AND IMPRESSIONABLE OK
2. Why I didn't trust see-saws for like 5 years
Once upon a time, when I was in elementary school, one of my best friends asked me if I wanted to go on the see-saw. I hadn't been on it before, but it looked fun, so I said yes. The first few ups and downs were okay, but she was...ehm...heavier than I was, so know what happened? wHOOSH! I was friggin' LAUNCHED off the see-saw, flew through the air, and CRASH! I landed--on my head, mind you--in the grass. I sat there for a moment in shock, and then, naturally, started bawling my eyes out. I somehow didn't get a concussion(thank you, thick skull!), but I did have a whomper of a headache.
3. I didn't want to take a nap
This one is better if I do it in dialog form. This was when my parents were still together, and Mom had locked me in my room for a nap. I obviously didn't want to take one.
Mom: Go check on Piper, ok?
Dad: *goes to the door of my room*
*crashing noises from inside*
Me: LET ME OUT
Dad: *walks back* I ain't going in there.
Mom: -_- *goes over*
Me: LET ME OUT!
Mom: *opens the door*
The room was a friggin' MESS. (By the way, this is when I was REALLY little, recounted by my mom, and my dad(RIP)a couple of times.)
4. Smooshed
So me and my cousins Austin and Matthew were playing hide and seek. Austin was the seeker, and Matthew and I decided to hide under the air mattress I was sleeping on as a joke. Of course, Austin sees us, and what does he do? He goes and lies down on the air mattress. Matthew and I were laughing at first, but then it started getting hard for me to breathe. (By now, you guys should know I have a lung condition.) I was getting smooshed! I managed to get out "Can't...breathe!'" and Matthew heard me, and said, "Austin, get off, you're squishing Piper!" And, thankfully, he got off.
So yeah.