Humorous Crap #Wattys2016

JOKES

Q: What does a cold put on its popcorn?
A: SNEEZENING
*BA-DUM TSHHHHH*
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Q: Did you hear about the ear of maize that tried standup?
A: All his jokes were really CORNY.
*BA-DUM TSHHHHHH*
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Q: What do you call a bra that's hard to take off?
A: A BOOBY TRAP
*BA-DUM TSHHHHHHH*
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A boy asks his girlfriend to prom. He goes to rent a tux, and there's a long line. He buys a corsage, and there's another line. He buys tickets, and there's an even longer line. He goes to rent a limo, and there's another line. He goes to prom with his girlfriend, and she asks him to get them a couple of drinks. He goes to the refreshment table, and there's no punchline.
*BA-DUM TSHHHHHHHHH*
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A boy goes to the pharmacy to buy condoms. The pharmacist asks him if he wants the 4-pack, 16-pack, or 32-pack. He tells the pharmacist, 'I'm going to dinner at my girlfriend's house tonight, and I'm hoping tonight will be the night. After she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 32 pack.' Later, at dinner, the girlfriend, her parents, and the boyfriend pray, but the boyfriend prays a lot longer. The girl says, 'I never knew you were such a religious person.' The boy says, 'I never knew your father was a pharmacist.'
*BA-DUM TSHHHHHHHHHHH*
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Q: Whenever you're sad, just remember this: you are one day closer to your next plate of nachos.
A: What if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos?
Q: THEN I GUESS THAT'S NACHO LUCKY DAY
*BA-DUM TSHHHHHHHHHHHH*
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IS THIS WHAT YOU DO WHEN I LEAVE YOU UNATTENDED
MAYBE. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
WE NEED TO STOP WRITING CHAPTERS WHEN WE'RE TIRED
Also, Oddseh has some kind of problem with hard k sounds directly followed by n sounds.
Knickknack=Knick-a-knack
Cockney(as in the accent): Cockaney
Picnic: Pick-a-nick
I...I CAN'T HELP IT ANYMORE
*snickers* Hey, Oddseh! *Yogi Bear accent* Wanna go on a pick-a-nick?
;n; IT'S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE