It's always been you

Chapter 55 - Ollies premiere

LUCY POV

I had received a phone call from one Mr Guy Ritchie. THE Guy Ritchie. Film director, moviemaker, Ollies former boss.

The movie they had made together before Ollie died 15 months ago was premiering in a month. And Guy wanted me there.

FLASHBACK TWO DAYS AGO

"Hello?" I answered my phone, holding it between my shoulder and my ear as I tried to change Billy's nappy. "Lucy? It's Guy Ritchie." "Oh....hi." I had a feeling I knew why he was calling. Ollie had finished filming his scenes literally weeks before he was killed. "Um...I don't even know how to have this conversation with you so I'll just come out and say it. The premiere is in a month. I'd love for you to be there." "Oh...I don't know what to say." "Look I fully understand if you can't or don't want to be there. I really do. But I'd never forgive myself if I didn't at least ask. I'll send you all the details. Please take all the time you need to make a decision. I'll be adding Oliver's family to the guest list, but please, if there is anyone you would like to bring with you please let me know." "I don't need to think. I'd like to be there. Please. For Ollie. Thank you for thinking of me." "Oh good! I'm so glad you're coming! I'll still send you all the details and let me know the names of your guests and I'll add them to the guest list." "Thanks Guy. It means a lot." "Anytime mate. Really. I should've said this a long time ago. But please if you need anything let me know. I'm a phone call away. Bye bye Lucy." "Thanks Guy. Bye."

I hung up the phone and thought "shit". This was my first big public event since Ollie died and since I'd given birth 9 months ago. And to be honest, I hated my body. It had changed. It felt softer, I had a few faint stretch marks on my belly and hips, and my boobs were MASSIVE. I was weaning off the breastfeeding since Billy had started on solids, but my boobs weren't getting the message.

I looked at myself in the mirror in my bedroom after placing Billy on his play mat and then called Nikki. The phone rang a few times before she answered. "Hey Lulu!" "Niks? I need your help." "You and Billy ok?" "Yeah we're fine. Nothings happened. Can you come over?" "Sure! I'll be there in half an hour?" "Thank you. I owe you."

Whilst waiting for Nikki I stood pulling on my bottom lip as I watched Billy having fun on his playmate, batting at the mobile above him letting out a few giggles. Joe walked in from his bedroom and saw me pulling at my lip. His face immediately dropped.

"Oh god what's wrong Luce?" "Nothing Joe." He just raised his eyebrows and waited for a proper answer. I sighed. "Nothing major. I'm waiting for Nikki to come over and help me." "Anything I can help with?" "Not really. It's a bit girly." Joe followed me around the house nagging at me to tell him what was wrong until Nikki arrived.

"Niks she won't tell me what's wrong! You tell me!" "Nope. Piss off Quinn. This is girl time." He grumbled under his breath but threw himself down on the couch next to Freddie who licked him on the cheek. "Fine. Us boys will stay down here won't we Freddieboy?" "Oh Freddie can come." "What?! That's bullshit why?!" "Because he doesn't speak English Joseph so he's not going to pass on what Lucy and I are talking about. Stop pouting."

Joe flipped her off causing me to snort before I took Nikki by the hand, leading her up to my room. Freddie was a loyal dude and stayed downstairs with Joseph. When we got to my bedroom I kicked the door shut, not realising it hadn't clicked shut and was slightly ajar. I sat Nikki on my bed and took a deep breath before speaking.

"I had a phone call from Guy Ritchie earlier today." "Ah." Nikki's face dropped. She could see where I was going with this. "When's the premiere?" "In a month. I'm going. I'm absolutely going. For Ollie." "So what's the problem? If you've already decided I mean?" I waved my hands up and down in front of my body. "This." "Excuse me?!" "Nikki I'm a disaster. I haven't had a haircut or waxed anything for a year, I've got wobbly bits, I have stretch marks on my hips and my belly, and my boobs could suffocate a person!"