It's always been you

Chapter 70 - Broken

ONE WEEK LATER
JOSEPH POV

I woke up in my hotel room surrounded by empty beer bottles again. My head was thumping, my mouth was dry...

...my heart was still broken.

I kept replaying what Lucy had said over and over again in my mind. Yes the media were awful to say those things about her, and to bring up Oliver like they did. But did she not love me enough to want to try? I guess not or she would have.

I'd been ignoring my phone all week. It rang constantly for the first day or so until the battery died. I hadn't charged it since.

A feeling of guilt crept over me as I thought about my parents and how worried they must be. By now I'm sure someone had told them about the break up.

I decided to plug my phone in and check through my messages. As it charged I caught a whiff of myself and cringed. I hadn't showered or shaved for days. And I smelled revolting. I jumped in to the shower and washed myself quickly, dressing in the clothes I'd managed to pick up from the shop down the road from the hotel. I couldn't face going back to the house to get my belongings.

I couldn't see her and not fall at her feet begging her to take me back. I winced at the pain of our memories. It seemed like so long ago but it was only two weeks since we'd made love on the balcony of our hotel in LA during the storm. It was only a week since that article came out and tore my whole life apart.

It was only seven days since I'd lost the love of my life and her boy who I'd always loved as my own. At the thought of Billy's little face, so like his fathers, my best friend, I broke down and wept again. I'd never see him again. I'd never hear his little giggle, or watch him toddling around on those chubby little legs. I'd never hear him squeal with delight first thing in the morning when he saw me and called out for "Doe".

My phone, now having enough charge to be turned on, pinged constantly with notifications, messages and missed calls again. I took a deep breath and prepared myself to begin sorting through my messages. As I unlocked my phone Camille's name lit up on screen as she called me.

I bit my lip, wondering if I was ready to talk to anyone again. I swiped across the screen and said "Hi Camille." There was a quick pause before I heard her sigh of relief. "Oh Joseph thank god! Nikki I've got him! Joseph Quinn where the fuck have you been?! We've all been worried sick!" "I couldn't stay there. She doesn't love me." "Joseph that's bull shit and you know it. She adores you. She loves you Joseph." "Then why would she end things?! Why did she break my heart Camille?!"

I was upset again now and yelled down the phone. I heard Nikki in the background and knew I must be on speaker. "Quinn you need to come home." I laughed harshly at that. "Home? HOME?! To the house where my ex girlfriend and her son live? The son I've always loved as my own and will probably never see again? Nikki I haven't GOT a home right now!"

"Then we'll come to you. Where are you?" "I'm at the Hilton." "Doesn't narrow it down dickhead which one?"

In spite of myself I smirked slightly at Nikki and I falling back in to our usual way of bantering. I told them where I was and sat back and waited for them. After close to an hour there was a frantic knocking on the door to my room. When I opened it Nikki and Camille fell through the door, both of them wrapping me tightly in a hug. The three of us sniffled before they both pulled away, each of them looking at me with eyes filled with worried.

It all got to be too much. I buried my face in my hands and sobbed. They guided me back in to my room. Both looked around at the mess and wrinkled their noses at the stale smell of a room that had held an unwashed body for almost a week. Camille guided me to sit down in the chair in the corner of the room as she sat on the ottoman in front of me, Nikki tiptoed around picking up rubbish and filling the rubbish bin before piling all my clothes in to a bundle to be washed later.