It's always been you

Chapter 42 - Arrangements

LUCY POV

I woke up the following morning expecting for it to be a horrible dream. A nightmare. I felt a warm body next to mine and reached out for Ollie. But then realised it was Nikki. Mum lying on my other side. I realised then it was real. Ollie was gone. I'd been married for 3 months. Now I was a widow.

I heard footsteps outside the door and I looked up expectantly, thinking Oliver was going to fling the door open and give me some kind of sassy remark. The was a soft knock and then the door was opened. Richards head peeked around the edge of the door. His eyes were bloodshot and swollen.

When we made eye contact it was too much for both of us. We both began to weep again as he entered mine and Ollie's bedroom and sat on the end of the bed. I crawled out from under the blankets and sat next to him wrapping our arms around each other tightly. "Sweetheart I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He sobbed the words out over and over until he calmed himself somewhat. "It's my fault." "What?" "It's my fault." I began to choke on my words.

"If I hadn't have forgotten the wine when I was at the shop. If I hadn't have sent him to get it. I killed Ollie for a bottle of wine." My body was wracked with sobs again as I felt Joes arms wrap tightly around me. I hadn't even realised he'd woken up. "Luce this is not your fault. You can't think that. It's that complete scumbag that ran a red light." I continued sobbing in to the arms of my husbands best friend and my father in law. Mum and Nikki were both awake by now and sat clinging to each other weeping as they watched me.

"Sweetheart I need to go and identify him. I'll come straight back." "No! I mean come back yes. But I need to see him." "Luce I don't think that's a good idea." "He's my husband Joe. I need to see him." "I'm coming with you then." I walked in to my wardrobe and shed my pyjamas, pulling on leggings and a hoodie of Ollie's. I buried my face in to the fabric and cried a while longer. It smelled like him. How long was I going to have that smell to comfort me?

I walked out of the wardrobe and said "I'm ready."

JOSEPH POV

I couldn't believe I was in a car, on my way to a mortuary to be with my best friends wife as she identified his body. This all felt surreal and nightmarish. I was waiting for my alarm to go off and I'd wake up in my bed with Camille asleep beside me.

Instead I was sat in the back of the car belonging to Phillip, Richards's manager and one of his closest friends. Richard was in the front. I was next to Lucy who was in the middle, Sarah on her other side.  David was in the car behind us. We pulled up outside the mortuary and saw a number of photographers and reporters waiting.

"Oh you've got to be fucking kidding me. How do they know already!" That was Phillip. "Right here's what we're going to do. Boys, surround Lucy and Sarah. Keep them in the middle. I'm hoping they'll be respectful and let us through."

Lucy and Sarah both pulled on their sunglasses and we exited the car. We met David on the footpath and heard camera shutters. The press stayed back though and allowed us to walk through. I kept my arm around Lucy's waist the whole time, guiding her as she kept her head down.

As we entered the building, the same police officers from the night before were waiting for us.   "I'm sorry about the press outside. We don't know who leaked it. Now. Lucy are you sure you want to do this. You don't have to. Your father in law can if it's too much." She shook her head and said "no I need to." The police officer nodded and then held his arm out to guide us down a hallway.

We walked in to a cold room.

And there he was.

There was my best friend laying on a table, a sheet covering him from the chest down. He looked like he was sleeping. His blonde curls we're tousled as usual. I was waiting for his eyes to pop open and show their brilliant blue. He had a few small cuts on his face, his neck looked incredibly swollen. The police had told us last night Oliver's neck had broken on impact. It was instant. He didn't suffer and he didn't feel a thing. He more than likely didn't even see the other car coming.

I heard a sob from next to me and I looked down to see Lucy holding her hand over her mouth in an effort to contain herself. Sarah began to weep on her other side and clung to Richard and David. David had silent tears pouring down his face as he looked down at his younger brothers peaceful face.

I held Lucy close to me and let my own tears flow as I looked at him. My best friend.

Richard turned to the police officers as his eyes filled with tears and nodded to them. "That's him. That's our Ollie."

The police officers nodded and expressed their sympathies again. One of them then held out a baggie to Lucy. She took it and looked at the bag, it held Oliver's wedding ring. That was her undoing and she turned and buried her face in to my chest again.

After we spent some time with him and we all said our goodbyes it was time for us to leave. Phillip had arranged with the mortuary for us to use the service entrance for some privacy. We exited in to the sun as he pulled his car around, David walking out the front door to where he was parked.

As Phillip drove us back to Lucy and Oliver's house she stared down at his wedding ring inside the plastic bag the whole way, constantly running her thumb over it. When we arrived back at the house there was more press outside waiting. Phillip ushered everyone in to the house and then exited to make a statement.

THIRD PERSON POV

Phillip exited Lucy and Oliver's townhouse and the waiting press gathered. Camera flashes went off and questions were shouted. Phillip held up his hand waiting for quiet and he said "I'm going to make an extremely brief statement and I will not be answering questions. As I'm sure you're all aware, or you wouldn't be here, Oliver Blake was killed last night in a car accident. He was hit by another driver that ran a red light and died on impact. He leaves behind his parents Sir Richard and Lady Sarah, his brother David and his wife Lucy. None of the Blake's will be making a public statement or answering any questions and we ask that everyone please respect their privacy and allow them to grieve. Oliver was only 24 and had only been married for three months so as you can imagine this has hit the family extremely hard. Please give them the courtesy to grieve in private. Thank you everyone." After he was done speaking, the press surprisingly were respectful and didn't attempt to ask any further questions, allowing him to walk back in to the house in peace.

JOSEPH POV

After Phillip made his statement, the press actually left. They were being respectful and giving the family time to grieve. Lucy was currently lying on the sofa with her head in her mums lap, Freddie lying on the floor in front of them, his head on his front paws. He looked up expectantly when I entered the room but dropped his head again when he saw it was me and not Oliver. He let out a big sigh and looked around the room making his eyebrows quiver.

Oh Freddieboy you know don't you.

Richard, Phillip and David were talking in hushed tones in the kitchen as they made teas and coffees for everyone. They looked up when I entered and David said "tell them Quinn. It's too soon to talk about the funeral."

Oh Jesus fucking Christ.

"Oh Christ. I mean, I know it has to be done. But it's going to destroy Lucy." "That's what I said. Just leave it until tomorrow." "Boys this has to be done. We need to talk to her about locations, flowers, music."

"Songbird." We all looked up to see Lucy in the doorway. "What Luce?" "I want to play 'Songbird'. Please." We all gave her a sad half smile and nodded our heads as she turned and went back in to the lounge room.

Eventually, everyone returned to their own homes. Except for me. There was no way I could leave her. Camille had been over and made sure there was food and even sat with Lucy in the bathroom as she took a bath and helped her wash her hair. Camille had gone back to our flat for now but said she'd be back in the morning.

Lucy and I were sitting on the patio. She was staring off in to space and not speaking. I lit a cigarette and held it out to her but she shook her head and fanned the smoke away from herself. I frowned. "Sure you don't want one Luce?" She hesitated before answering me.

"Joe, I'm pregnant."

I hate myself so much right now!!