It's always been you

Chapter 53 - One Year Later Part One

LUCY POV

Today was the first anniversary. One year since my world collapsed. One year since I had my heart ripped to pieces. One year since Oliver died. Joseph was driving Billy and I out to Richard and Sarah's to visit Ollie's grave and probably stay at least a few days.

I was worried about Joe. I wasn't sure if it was the anniversary coming up, or his breakup with Camille, or both, but he wasn't doing well. My nightmares weren't as regular. But Joes were coming every night like clockwork. We'd switched roles. He'd spent the past 12 months doting on me and attending to my every need. But he was starting to slip away from us. It was like he'd had a delayed reaction to Ollies death.

FLASHBACK TWO NIGHTS AGO
LUCY POV

I had just put Billy back in his crib, fast asleep, after his 2am feed when I heard a guttural scream erupt from Joes room.

Jesus Christ what is happening?!

As I raced down the hall for a few seconds I paused thinking "wait has he got a girl over?" Then I heard that scream again. This time louder and it seemed like it would never end. It was followed by a cry of Ollie's name. "Ollie! Ollie no! Olliiiiie!!" Fuck he's having a nightmare!

I flung the door to Joes room open and saw him thrashing in the bed, his face scrunched up. "Joe!" He continued to cry out in his sleep, tears pouring down his face. When I got to his bedside I put my hands on his shoulders and shook him. "Joe wake up! JOE!" His big brown eyes shot open and met my hazel ones. He gulped, trying to hold back his sobs and ended up in my arms trembling.

"Joe! Joe what happened?!" He continued to tremble, letting out the occasional sob. "Luce I'm so sorry. I'm sorry!" "For what? Joe what happened?!" "I'm meant to be caring for you! Luce I'm so sorry!" "Joe!" "Luce I can't stop the nightmares. They're getting worse. I keep seeing Ollie's face. I keep dreaming about the accident. Luce I miss him!"

He began to sob and sob hard, his hands covering his face. "Joseph look at me. Look at me!" His bloodshot and tear filled eyes met mine as he continued sobbing. "Joseph Quinn. Don't you ever apologise for hurting over Ollie's death. He was your best friend. He was your other half. Joe you haven't been looking after yourself have you? You've taken such perfect care of Billy and I and you've forgotten yourself." "Luce...I'm not doing well am I?" "No Joe you aren't, I think you need a bit of help same as me."

He continued to sob as he held my hand in a death grip, the other hand swiping at his face in embarrassment. I grabbed his other hand and held it tight saying "Joseph, you don't have to hide your tears from me. Please don't. You're my best friend and you took such incredible care of me this year. Let me do the same for you."

His big sad eyes looked into mine, he bit his lip and nodded. I stayed there with him until he fell back to sleep studying his troubled face. Poor Joe. He's had an incredibly shit year himself and I haven't been looking after him like I should have.

He still had a death grip on both of my hands. I fell asleep lying next to him waiting for his hands to loosen.

JOSEPH POV

As I awoke the next morning, thoughts of my nightmare came back and I winced. Both at the memories of the dream and the thought of my absolutely losing it in front of Lucy. What the hell are you doing Quinn? She lost her husband not you. You're meant to be taking care of her. And speaking of Lucy, when did I began spooning her during the night? I realised I had one arm underneath her and the other flung over her. Then I realised her bum was pressed up against me.

And I had a raging boner.

Oh fuck.

This wasn't normal morning partial wood. This was full on angry, rampant, rock hard, girl of your dreams in her nightie with her arse pressed against your crotch morning wood.