BRANCE + RINNEY

auction of feelings, living.

part two.
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"Do you think he's right? Do you think I need help?"

Finn pressed his leg into Vance's, his skin cold with autumn air. Cigarette smoke lingered in the air and for a second, only a second, Finn was at peace. A hand fiddled with the top strands of his hair and he turned, a saddened smile on his face.

"I think that you need to relax. Breathe, live."

Vance moved a strand of hair out of Finn's eyes, smiling down at the boy genuinely. Rain pattered down onto the wood in front of both boys, a chorus into the night. Finn tucked his legs close to his chest, wrapping his arms around himself as if he could protect himself from anything and everything.

"It's hard. To relax, breathe, live."

A clap of thunder sounded from somewhere distant and Finn sighed, nails bending into his palms as he closed his eyes. Vance pushed his hands apart, a stern look on his face.

"That's why I'm here. You don't have to hurt yourself."

Finn opened his eyes, avoiding the stare from his brother. He silently nodded his head and stood, taking away the last bits of cigarette smoke onto his clothes as a lingering invisible curtain.

"Come on, it's late. I'm sleepy."

Vance stood from his sitting position, shoes digging into the creaky wood beneath as he moved towards the door.

"You'll be okay Finn."
"I know."

The morning sun blinked at Finn through the curtains, a sliver of warmth that pushed him deeper under his bundle of covers. His arms burned slightly, an ignored feeling.

Thinking back to the day prior, Finn bit his tongue and pushed back tears. Maybe this was it. Maybe things with Robin were done. He knows, he knows that he's hard to work with sometimes. That he's stubborn, always holding his emotions back for others. But he loves Robin. More than he's loved anyone, well in the way that he's speaking.

Sitting up, Finn pushed the covers off of him. It was too hot now, too stifling. A picture on his wall smiled at him, a hint of gold. It was of him and Robin, their first date.

Finn turned away from it, standing now. Forget, continue. It's how life is supposed to go, right?

"He'll be back, trust me."

Finn let himself laugh at that, fingernails absentmindedly grazing over the pink stains on his arms. Vance had his back turned, a pan in his hand bouncing up and down as he flipped pancakes.

"Maybe."

A plate was set down, the glass of it clinking down onto the table. Finn exhaled slowly, fighting the urge to cover his ears and retreat back to his room.

"I'm sorry."

Finn held up his fork, the silver of it gleaming the more it turned. He shrugged his shoulders, now poking at his food.

"You're okay."

Vance turned the stovetop off and set down. His chair squeaked softly, the legs of it scratching against the floor as he shuffled close to the table. Finn exhaled heavily, force of habit.

The two ate in silence. It was somewhat nice, the sounds of mixed breathing and bird chirps. If he listened closely, Finn could hear the brush of wind moving through the grass outside.

"Here, let me take your plate."

Finn hadn't realized he'd eaten his food, his brain too occupied with other things. He nodded his head and gave his plate to Vance, awkwardly standing afterward to make his way to his room.

"I'm not the best at helping, you know. But, I'm your brother and I love you. So let me know if you need anything, okay?" Vance was in the midst of washing their dishes, soap covering his hands and water dripping down his wrists. "Yeah, okay. I love you too." Finn pushed himself to smile, a small thing. Vance nodded his head, a silent agreement to let Finn to his room. Thank you.

"I'm freezing, could you wake up please?"

A mumble, a murmur, a whisper of a breath. It brushed against Finn's window, sliding through the opened bit of it and into the bedroom.

Finn turned in his sleep, his eyes opening slowly.

"Finn? Are you awake?"

Fists rubbed against eyes, skin burning with the shine of the moon against it. Leaning to the side, Finn could make out the silhouette of Robin. He had come back.

The window was opened fully after a passing second, two pairs of hands awkwardly moving across skin in the form of an embrace.

"I shouldn't have left. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."

Finn flinched at the tingle of breath on his collarbone, the warmth that covered him like a blanket. He shrugged, a smile adorning his face and pulling on his constellations of freckles.

"You're okay."
"Are you okay?"

Finn pulled away from Robin, nodding his head once the boy could see him clearly. He was okay. Even if he wasn't, he would be. That's all that matters, right?

"Yeah, I'm okay."

Robin smiled, head ducking and lips pushed close together to deliver a kiss to Finn's jaw. Finn laughed, pushing the other away with a hand. "I want to sleep now." Robin nodded his head and took Finn by the wrist, leading him back to bed.

"I love you. It worries me how much I do." They were laying down now, Robin's hands playing in Finn's hair as he spoke soft whispers. "I love you too Robin. Why does it worry you?" Finn's breaths were coming out slow, he was almost asleep. "I just, I don't want either of us to get hurt. Not that I would do anything, we're just, I don't know. I really love you."

Finn tilted his head up, a sleepy smile on his face as he kissed Robin's chin. Robin looked down at him, kissing his temple.

"Stop worrying. Just live." Finn closed his eyes, his head digging into Robin's chest as his breathing evened out.

"Just live. Okay." Robin kept his arms around Finn as he closed his eyes, keeping the other away from harm even in his half-conscious state of mind.

"I told you he'd be back."

Vance, a knowing smile on his face, quietly shut the door to Finn's bedroom. Underneath his breath, he let out a quiet prayer.

"Whatever God is listening to me right now, please keep your hand over my brother. He does need help, and I feel terrible for lying to him but, he's my best friend and I hate seeing him upset. So, please help me with this. Thank you, uh, amen."

Finn slept soundly that night, protected. He woke with a smile, his skin no longer burning and ears no longer pounding with the everlasting loudness.

The urges went away, a passing thought that drifted into unconsciousness. Thank you.