Let's All Make Believe - Oasis

Chapter 80

Author Note- I've been away way too long again.

Since the meal and the masquerade ball I did my best to keep Lydia sweet. I made all her meals, breakfast, dinner and tea. I had a cuppa ready when she came in from work. I bought flowers, chocolates and other treats. I would've bought her anything she wanted but I didn't want to buy her and she didn't want to be bought. I didn't know how to be the best girlfriend. I was a good girlfriend years ago, I didn't used to have to think about it. Cheaters had to think about it.

Lydia didn't want to leave me and Liam together, alone, unsupervised hours at a time but she couldn't let the kids she taught down. She had to try to trust me and I had to prove that she could.

I didn't know if I could do it if it was the other way around. I'd relentlessly imagine her with the other woman like a never ending porno, everything they could get up to every second I wasn't there. If there was another woman we'd be equal in a way but she wouldn't do it. 

When the kids weren't around I tried to keep myself busy doing the washing, cleaning the house, anything Liam wasn't going to be keen on helping me with.

“Y'know we should get a cleaner in so you don't have to do all this.” Liam said as he followed me while I was cleaning the kitchen.

“We don't need a cleaner, a housekeeper, a laundry maid, a chef or anyone else. It's a big house but we're fine.”

“But you could do other things.”

“Like what? Sit thinking about someone else going around our house?”

“Weren't you meant to be writing a book or summat or finding summat new to do?”

“I was but I'll not get anything out of any of you and who wants to read something from someone who's mad?”

“You're not mad.”

“They'll all think I'm mad and out to spite Noel or you or… they'll tear through my every word reading it how they want to read it.”

“Write the most spiteful tales you can come up with and we'll have a good laugh at what they make of it.”

“No, I made enough headlines.”

“Stories then people who want a quiet life write stories.”

“What would I write about?”

“You could write summat raunchy.”

“And have everyone think I've got you on the mind?”

“Have you?”

“No.”

“Do you need reminding?”

“I didn't forget a thing. My hobby isn't fucking you anymore.”

“She wouldn't know if it was. You don't have to do everything with her or you can if you wanted.”

“Please stop thinking about the three of us! It's not going to happen. We're not giving you a show. New year should never have happened. You need to get it outta your head.”

“I can't. It's not fair to ask me to forget.”

“There's probably plenty of bi women who would love to let you join them. You don't have to chase something you're not gonna get.”

“I want you. I don't want some women to shag. I want us to do whatever the fuck we want, to have fun again. You know I wouldn't need you to do anything to keep me.” 

“Lydia doesn't need me to do anything. I'm just trying to make up for the mistakes I've made.”

“I'm a mistake?”