Let's All Make Believe - Oasis

Chapter 62

Delfina joining the family didn't go as smoothly as we thought. She barked and howled and whined at night. Each time I went to her, leading her back to her bed and whispering to her until she was settled or even asleep. Lydia tried to comfort her too. It was more like we'd gotten a new toddler than we thought it was going to be. We wondered if being alone at night made her miss her previous family more than she did in the day.

In the day she was better when she was around at least one of us, going on our walk, helping fill the time when Lydia and Ste were away. I really took to having her around. I talked to her every time I saw her, asking her "What's up puppy?" about a thousand times a day.

She always looked at me excitedly and sometimes she indicated she wanted her dinner or she needed to go out. I wished I'd known a dog sooner.

Liam had given Lydia an idea. Not to work towards her own work being put in a gallery but to create one in the school for her students so they could have that experience.

She was putting all of her free time into creating a project that would suit the curriculum and allow them class's art works to be displayed.

I knew how much it meant to hee to prove herself in the job and to give these kids confidence in their work but it took up so much time. I wanted to be supportive but I hardly saw her. She was at the school all week and when she wasn't she was doing so much extra work for it.

Liam hadn't come over to our tiny house since his first time. I preferred to take the boys and Delfina (and Lydia when she wasn't busy) over to Peggy's where Liam was staying. That way we wouldn't be alone to repeat anything.

...

Whenever Ste was at Nursery and Nathan was settled (either sleeping or playing with his toys, and the same for Delfina) I tried to write Oasis's life story. I couldn't put pen to paper. Every time I went to write something down, I pulled my hand away.

I called Paul for his advice. He asked what I'd gotten so far, to try to point me in a direction.

"That's the thing, nothing. I haven't written a single thing."

"What're you trying to get out of this?"

"You said to write a book so I'm trying to write a book?" I said, so unsure.

"Start smaller, jot some notes down and go from there. What're you trying to write about?"

"The band."

"Yeah but what are you telling that the other books don't?"

"I haven't read any of the others except yours."

"You must've met these people."

"Yeah a bit but they never wanted to talk to me."

"Well what d'you know that they don't?"

"I don't know, probably not a lot that I'd want to share with the public."

"You could write about your experiences with mental illnesses and being gay. How that shaped your time with the boys."

"I guess I could give it a go."

"Let me know how you get on."

"Thanks Paul."

Once I'd written a list of events around those things I decided it was a list of things I definitely didn't want to write about. If I was putting my experiences out there in writing, it was going to be all the highs.

...

When I went to leave the house with Nathan (while Ste was at nursery), Delfina stood by the door either trying to come with us or stop us going. I felt guilty leaving her the moment she gave me a look with her bright brown puppy dog eyes.