Let's All Make Believe - Oasis

Chapter 49

My parents agreed to meet me in Leeds. They were prepared. I was prepared. Now I just had to go and find out if we could work it out.

Darren wasn't going to take me to any more places after what I'd done, not that I wanted him to this time.I took a taxi over there on my own, no Liam, no boys, no one else. There was traffic hold ups and speed restrictions on the motorway that didn't hinder us last time but it wasn't that, that made it feel like it took much longer than it was supposed to.

I played out every avenue of conversation that I could think could happen just as I had done ever since the idea came up. Whatever they had to say couldn't be worse than what I'd thought up.

When we finally got into Leeds I had the taxi drop me off at the car park I'd parked in with Darren, paying him and letting him go.

It was a nice day nothing like the last time I was there so I walked to the bench wishing I had sun glasses or something. It was warm. It was sunny. It was good. It was the spot I'd picked before outside the museum. They didn't know I'd planned it out to that much detail. I sat and waited, picking at my fingers and thumbs until they arrived.

They greeted me like we were close. They held their arms out for hugs but I wouldn't stand up for it. I didn't want to make it more awkward than it was but I wasn't nearly comfortable enough for a hug.

They didn't bring Billy. I didn't bring my other boys. We were equal in our thinking on that one. I really wanted to see Billy, they really wanted to see Ste and Nathan. We hadn't discussed it but I'd assumed he'd be there so I could at least see him. I was hurt when I realised he wasn't with them.

"We couldn't just take him out of school so he's with your gran." Mum explained. "It's best we don't interrupt his schedule."

"One day wouldn't have hurt."

When I was at school I'd take any excuse to have the day off but he didn't take after me at all like that. Dad had told me how well he was getting on with his classes so I didn't ask about that.

"Should he have sat and listened to this, whatever this is?" she asked.

"I guess not." I said looking down at the table. "Neither should Ste or Nathan."

"So what's this in aid of?" Mum kicked off the questions impatiently. "What've you got to say?

"I have some things we need to discuss."

"In Leeds?"

"I thought it best if we had some new surroundings. Neutral surroundings. It's nice here."

"Why? Is it not nice in Liverpool or...?"

"What are these things?" Dad asked, interrupting Mum.

"So..." I stopped, not knowing what to say.

Liam was the one who had explained it to everyone. He read the books, he talked about it, not me. I didn't know where to begin. I was scared they'd think the worst, they would if I explained it wrong. I was getting distracted by the intensity of Mum's questions too.

"You're not pregnant again, are you?" Mum tried to guess straight away.

"No." I shook my head. "Never again. I'm not having another baby."

"You were saying that before."

"I just gave birth, course I'm not pregnant again! And it's true this time, it's not that."

"Are you ill?" she asked, worrying that I was telling her I had something wrong with my reproductive system or something.

"No. Not..."