Let's All Make Believe - Oasis

Chapter 81

Author Note- Happy April Fool's day! This chapter's not a joke 🤣

While I was cuddling Lydia, watching TV I was deep in thought rather than being interested in the program. She worked out pretty quickly that I wasn't present.
“What're you thinking about?”
“Oh, I'm just wondering how the tour's going.”
“He… They've only been gone a few days.”
“I know but that's enough time for things to go badly. Things used to go badly all the time.”
“Now they're more settled, there's professionals, not just mates.”
“Liam and Noel…”
“They're always on your mind.”
“They're my kid's dads and they're them, I'm going to worry.”
“You think about them too much. I promise they'll be fine.”
“No one knows that.”
“We do, they've done it loads.”
“I know it's weird but it's like they're my brothers way more than exes. They're my family. I need to know they're safe.”
“They're going to go to the venues, play their songs and go back to the hotels over and over until they're home again. You're going to be so bored when you ask.”
I yawned. “Yeah, you're right. It's boring really.”
She could never understand what it was like to really know the Gallagher's. She didn't want to know either of them. I wished I'd said I was thinking about something else or nothing.
“Y'know… I heard Noel's not there anyway.” she said cautiously. “So you haven't got to worry about him.”
“What? Why?”
“I don't know, I just saw a headline. I didn't read it.” she shrugged. “He's probably just having time with the baby.”
“No. He never had time off. Not for Ste. He's walked out again.” I stood up. “I have to call…”
“Stacy!” she grabbed my arm. “Sit down. You can't call anyone now, it's too late.”
“They're rock stars, they're not early to bed. What did it say?”
“I don't know something about some other guitarist stepping in for him while he's away.”
“Please let me talk to someone.”
“In the morning. It's nothing. I shouldn't have said anything. They're human, they need breaks. You can't go storming in over nothing. Liam never said anything so it's probably not true.”
“They'd only lie to me.” I sat back down. “They don't want me to know the truth.”
“They don't want you worrying if you don't have to. Not telling isn't lying.”
“It is to me. I don't even know who I'd talk to.”
“Noel will tell you tomorrow just forget about it. Don't jump into it. Don't go driving down to him.”
“I can't promise.”
“You don't need to get involved. They can handle it themselves. You walked away for a reason.” She held my hand to try to reassure me. “It'll be magazine gossip anyway.”
I was agitated all night. I hated not knowing. The magazines shouldn't know more than me. Lydia was right to stop me from calling right away but I couldn't drop it. She was right I shouldn't take of to him, he should come to me.
“Hey Noel, how're you doing?” I tried to sound casual.
“Yeah, I'm alright. Are you and the boys?”
“They're actually wanting to know if you'll come and take them to a match or something.”
“I can't, I'm…”
“On tour? You're not.”
“How do you know what I'm doing? I'm…”
“Staying home? Letting someone else do your job.”
“I'm not sat at home. I'm writing. That's more important than touring.”
“That's crap! It's always been about the touring the biggest and best stadiums. What happened?”
“Songs don't write themselves. We can't live off Wonderwall.”
“What happened Noel? Why aren't you there?” I wasn't going to let him avoid it.
“You think sun shines out of his arse. I'm not saying nothing to you.”
“I don't!”
“You always have and you always will.”
“What's he done?”
“No. I'm not doing it. You'll deny it, so what's the point?”
He had a point that I never saw it like he did but it wasn't like I just denied it. I knew he wasn't perfect. I knew he could drink too much or do drugs. I knew he liked an argument, to pick a fight. It wasn't like it was just him. Noel could give as good as he got but he was always innocent and hard done by.
“Come up here and write then. Come see your boys. Spend some time with them.”
“Alright but I'm not taking them to see Liverpool, it'll be Man City or nowt.”
The season was over already. City were promoted again. I wasn't sure what football there was to take them to for a few months for any of our teams.
“Fine.”
“What? You're not gonna tell me your Jamie takes them every week? Or Guigs' does it.”
“Not every week, not most weeks he goes with the lads not my lads. And no, Guigs' doesn't look after the kids and Bonehead wouldn't dare!”
“You can't grill me or nag me or anything when I come over. What I do is my business not yours, okay?”
“Okay. I promise.”
He knew I couldn't stick to it. He still came over anyway. He could avoid me if he wanted. I didn't mind if he made sure everything was about the boys.
It was awkward at first. It wasn't easy to be around him anymore.
“How's the baby?” I tried to talk civilly.
“Anais? Yeah she's doing great… I wouldn't mind doing it all again but Meg's not keen.”
“She's only a few months old.” I wasn't surprised. “You don't even know her yet, you don't need another one.”
He shrugged. “I'll talk her around.”
I wondered what we'd do if he still wanted more kids if we were still together. I couldn't carry it so we'd have to use a surrogate, I wouldn't want that. If Meg didn't want any more kids there was another option. “Or find someone else, right?”
“I could but I'd have to divorce her. I couldn't be doing with this thruple thing.”
“There is no thruple. You can talk about my life but I can't even ask.”
“You can ask but I won't answer.”
“We used to tell each other stuff.”
“We used to be a couple. Used to. I've nothing to say. I'm staying home with my daughter. I'll be back for the big ones. You can't have a problem with that.”
“You're not supposed to pick and choose.”
“Neither are you but you're never gonna stop.”
“You're not a pick. Is that your problem? That it's always Liam?”
“My problem is your favourite pick can't focus on his job because of you women and getting high and drunk.”
“You knew that from the beginning.”
“How's you and Lydia been? Since Paris?” he changed the subject.
“We’re alright. She doesn’t want Liam coming…”
“I bet she don’t!”
“She doesn’t want him staying here.”
“Did you really have a threesome? That's bullshit,  right?”
I thought I shouldn’t tell him since he wouldn’t tell me about his life. “It was all Lydia.”
“Lydia, the out and lesbian wanted sex with Liam?”
“She got a bit drunk.”
“A bit? I'd have to be paraletic.”
“She only kissed him a bit. To start it off.”
“Why?!”
“Patsy knew me and Liam spent a while cooking and accused us so Lydia wanted to see for herself.”
“And you couldn't help yourselves.”
“I don't know, he kissed back and it just went on.”
“If she didn't do nothing with him… she watched you shag him.”
“No, it wasn't like that. I don't know. We agreed to forget about it and here I am going on about it. Please don't let Lydia know I told you about any of this.”
“Of course I won't tell her you told me all about her having a threesome.”
“She'll be so mad at me.”
“Madder than in Paris?”
“She's a private person. It's one thing to know I cheated, it's another to have me sharing our intimate details.”
“Liam would've told it all if it wasn't for his strange loyalty to you anyway. You should wait til all this divorce business blows over and let her go.”
“She's not a cat I can just throw out when I'm done with her.”
“You're hurting her all while you keep her around.”
“What do you care?”
“She doesn't belong in our world. Like you say she's private, we're not. You'll both be happier with someone else. Someone you don't have to hide things from.”
He knew I wasn't going to listen. I didn't care how many people told me to break up with her; it wasn't going to happen, not on someone else's say so.
Lydia was a little happier to have Noel stay over than she was Liam. She didn't want to spend time with him either but at least I could talk to him in person.
…
We went to the football. Noel wanted to sit in the stands, he thought the boys were old enough but I didn't. Nathan only just turned two. Ste was getting old enough but we couldn't take one and not the other. Watching from the box was just nicer even if it wasn't the proper experience.
It wasn't a proper match anyway. It was a friendly to celebrate their promotion to the Premier League. A derby with United but both sides only had players who weren't going to Belgium and the Netherlands for the Euros.
The first half was pretty quiet there weren't that many attempts on goal for either team.
I got bored after a while. Noel and the boys were watching but this wasn't my team. It was good to see the two Manchester teams come together but it wasn't the best match with the best players away. I tried not to show it but Noel noticed.
“You didn't have to be here. I'm not gonna let anything happen to the kids.”
“I know.”
“I won't let them out my sight.”
“Exactly.”
“I’m not gonna kidnap them. If I wanted to take them I’d call a lawyer. I'd get custody… you invited me.”
“Yeah…”
“I hoped you were over these delusions.”
“This isn't a delusion. I… just don't trust you.”
“You invited me! Why invite me if I'm so untrustworthy?”
I didn't say anything. I couldn't explain it.
“Well I'm trying to watch the match.” He turned to face the pitch, crossed his arms and pretended I wasn't there.
I tried to do the same except I talked to the boys and watched them rather than ignoring everyone in the room.
“I can't believe you've got the cheek to accuse me when you took off with my son without a fucking word for months.” he said as soon as the half time whistle went. “I'd never do that to you.”
“I didn't accuse you.”
“No, you just think it.”
“I don't. I wanted to spend time with you and the boys together. As a family.”
“Then let us enjoy the football without you thinking the worst of me. Where would I take them? I don't have a car. You know where I live. I can't take a dump without everyone knowing about it, what am I gonna do with two kids?”
“Alright I'm just being…”
“Paranoid?”
“No, I'm not. I'm worried about you because you're not with the band again. I don't know what you're gonna do and you won't tell me when you do.”
“We already discussed this. I'm going back, that's it. You know there's not a band without me and we're not done.”
“Good.”
“I'm gonna get some food, d'you want anything?”
“Whatever you get. Thanks.”
He left and came back with some sausage rolls for all of us.
The second half went a lot better. With food in our bellies we were in better moods. The football picked up too. Man City scored goals and we all celebrated them like they were real goals. In the end it was a real win to the team in blue.
“One day City's gonna be on top y'know.” I told Noel on the drive home.
“Are you a psychic now?”
“No, I just know it's gonna be different. You're already miles better than it used to be.” I was optimistic.
“Yeah but that's not the top. It'll always be United.”
United won the league by eighteen points so it was fair of him to think they weren't giving up the top spot any time soon. They couldn't stay there forever. City could go right to the top, anything could happen.
“You're in the top league now, it's only up from there.”
“Whatever.”
“It was a good match though. Just wait 'til you do it for real next season.”
“Beat United next season? Now I know you're crazy.” he laughed.
Noel decided to stay a few more days. I would've said he was trying to hide out with us but he had us taking the kids to see things in Manchester all day.
…
After Noel was gone I decided to try to look up a lawyer. I got the yellow pages to find a phone number. I didn't know whether I needed an attorney, a lawyer or a solicitor.
Lydia watched me flick through the pages of the phone book to the law section. “What're you looking for?”
“A law firm.”
“I thought you agreed not to have anything formal. Did something happen?”
“No, I just want to know where I stand with the kids and him.”
“You're the mother, you have all the rights. He has rights for Ste, none for Nathan.”
“You're an art teacher, you don't know the law.”
“That's what they'll tell you.” she shrugged. “Don't let him scare you. He wouldn't get anywhere if he tried something.”
“He's got everything financially.”
“They won't want to give you advice and leave it at that, once you're in they'll want you to start making plans against him so there's something to charge you for.”
I left the book open on the page and stepped away from it. I didn't want to parent my kids to some legal agreement but if I had to it should be on my terms rather than on Noel's or Liam's. If I went to a lawyer I'd need support and I didn't have Lydia's support.
Bethanie wasn't in family law but she probably knew someone who was. I didn't really want to discuss it with her or a friend of hers so it couldn't get back to the brothers. Even with client confidentiality she could still say something to Paul. I thought we should talk when she had the time.
…
Lydia decided to surprise me for my birthday. Well not just that. A lot of things, our engagement, the end of school year (nearly), the stresses of the Gallaghers. She had her mum take the boys and the dog for a couple of days. She pulled a sickie from work, she was only helping out with other classes anyway since her classes had finished their exams.
She took us to Chester. It was far enough to get away but close enough to go home if we needed to. We were lucky to have nice places to visit so close to home.
In the day we went to some museums and ate at a restaurant. It reminded me of our time in Paris before it went wrong because of Patsy. Chester was a lot smaller than Paris but there was a lot to see. We went around on a tour bus to see the old buildings.
After we'd ate tea Lydia had something unexpected planned. She went beyond the burlesque show, this time it was a gentleman's club or a lady's club in our case.
I watched the woman on the main stage in wonder (as she danced for the men below) while we were led to our own private room. I wondered if she'd found out about PC Allcock as I tried to work out why she'd bring us here.
We got sat down comfortable on the sofa seats, ready for the show. A hostess brought us bottles of champagne and glasses.
I looked at Lydia like what the fuck are you doing bringing us alcohol when we can't drink. As much as I wanted a good piss up, I couldn't not without risking its reaction to my medication.
“It's non-alcoholic. Apparently you can hardly tell, except you don't get drunk.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. No alcohol here.” the hostess confirmed. “Some like the illusion.”
“We have to drive tomorrow. A while ago I'd do anything you gave me but not today.” I tried to sound like I was still cool.
“Relax. Enjoy your night.” She encouraged me.
I sat back. “Let's drink.”
She cracked open the bottle and the foam poured out like the real thing. She gave us our drinks flowing in champagne flutes.
We drank and the women started dancing for us.
I was so jealous seeing another woman in very little clothing displaying her tits to Lydia even while I had my own dancer drawing my eye to her. Maybe that was the point of it all, to make me so crazy jealous.
Even though the dancers kept my attention I couldn't stop thinking about Lydia. I wanted her way more than I wanted a bunch of women in lingerie. I thought I should shove them aside for her. I hoped she was thinking the same.
In the middle of it all a dancer put her hand on mine and left a baggy of white powder on my palm. My heart bounced with excitement. “No thanks. I don't do it anymore.”
“Take it. You don't have to use it.” she insisted as I tried to give it back.
I looked over and saw Lydia wasn't watching. I put it in my back pocket and gave her some money. She probably had a quota, I didn't want her to get in trouble for not selling enough.
“Thanks. I won't use it.”
“Give it someone else, do what you want.” She went back to her dancing.
“Just don't offer nothing to her.” I glanced over to Lydia.
She nodded and put her finger to her lips for a second as she danced for me. She slipped away out of the room to see other clients. I was relieved when she went in case she decided to ignore my instruction.
The women danced with each other like they were having an orgy all but the sex. It would've been easy to forget the rules and join in with them.
Once our session was over the women piled out of the room and we made our way back to our hotel.
After watching the women dance out of reach we finally got our hands on each other. Unlike PC Allcock the women dancers made us need a release.
As our room door closed we pulled each other's clothes off heading to the bed. We kissed and messed around until we were fucking.
In the morning I woke up feeling like I had a hangover even though I couldn't. It was the sensory overload. The loud music, the lights, the beautiful women, so many beautiful dancing women, their soft skin, their sweet fruity smells.
After a while I sat up and found my clothes and discovered the cocaine. I checked Lydia was asleep and examined the powder, wondering why I'd bought it.
I felt so bad having another secret to hide from her. I should've took it to the bathroom and flushed it or put it down the sink but I couldn't do it. I couldn't part with it. I shoved it in my bag, hopefully where Lydia wouldn't look.
While I waited for her to wake up I laid back down cuddling up to her. I couldn't help thinking about how lucky I was to have her and how easily I was fucking up until she'd have no choice but to leave me.
“Am I being selfish, being with you?” I whispered. 
“You deserve so much better than I can give you.”
“You could have a normal life with someone who won't let you down.”
I promised I wouldn't have any more secrets and I wouldn't hurt her but I just couldn't stick to it. I couldn't let go of being wild. I couldn't settle. I couldn't be happy with  normal. I couldn't grow up.
As soon as Lydia moved, looking like she was waking up, I shut up. I couldn't let her hear me mumbling about our relationship. While ever she wanted to stay, we weren't going to break up.
“Morning.” She turned and looked at me.
“Morning. How'd you sleep?”
“Yeah alright I'm not bothered we're not staying longer.”
“Me too.” I agreed. “So what're we doing today?”
“Are you ready for more?”
“Yeah. Are you?”
She nodded. ”I've still got a lot of plans before we get back.”
We stayed in bed for a while enjoying the peace of not having to get up. We had breakfast and headed out.
The first thing I did when we got back was to hide the cocaine in my underwear drawer, right at the back. I should've just slipped it in a bin somewhere but I kept it never to be used, just like I told the hostess. It was just another thing to hide.
…
When Father's Day came around I didn't know what to do with it. Every dad I knew was complicated. I barely talked to my own dad and I didn't feel like reaching out. Lydia's dad was only around when it was convenient to him. Noel and Liam being dads to my boys and other kids, they couldn't celebrate the day with all their family. Darren was a step dad, unable to have his own son. It was only Bonehead who'd have a normal Father's Day with his kids.
Lydia called her dad and had a long conversation with him. They made all sorts of promises about going out for meals and having more time together. Listening to them frustrated me. They weren't going to do anything they said. He was going to keep coming around only when it was convenient for him. I didn't want to keep seeing her get let down.
I decided to call Noel and Liam so they could talk to the boys. We'd never really celebrated Fathers Day before or Mothers Day so it didn't matter if I let the day go by but I decided it'd be a nice surprise for them. I called Noel first since Ste came along first. He still wasn't going back to the tour as the band went through the European festivals. I was careful not to mention the tour, the boys didn't need to be dragged into that.
He was happy to hear from the kids. He said if he'd realized, he would've come up again to see them.
“I've got to come up anyway, Ste's got to have a school to go to by September.”
“He's got a school, he's going to the one he's already at.”
“We can do better than that. He deserves better than that.”
“He likes it there. This is about you celebrating you being their dad, we can talk about other things some other time.”
“You can tell me how it is, you mean.”
“Happy Father's Day Noel.” I got the boys to say it after me and talk to him for a while.
Noel brought up the school issue when he came up for the football match. It was so competitive down south that he was already trying to decide on a school for Anais even though she was only a few months old. He wanted to pick Ste's school.
Liam was in Italy for the Heineken Jammin Festival. Knowing they were all over Europe I wished I could tour or at least visit a festival or two. I could've if I'd have known Noel wouldn't be there but I couldn't ask anyone to look after the kids and the dog while I went to a festival abroad and I couldn't take them with me, it'd be too much.
“How's Italy?”
“Great, can't wait to get on stage for these Italians.”
“Good. I wish I was one of them.”
“It's not too late to fly you out. It's never too late.”
“No, I need to stay here with the boys, that's why I'm calling.”
“What's happening with the boys?”
“It's Father's Day.”
“Oh.”
“So the boys wanted to talk to you and say happy Father's Day.” I let the boys talk to him for a bit before they went off and played.
“Does Lydia get Father's Day or does she have Mother's Day with you?”
“We didn't celebrate it.”
“Next year?”
“I think she'd rather leave herself out of it.”
“She'll not be in the picture by then.”
I sighed. “I don't know what will be.”
“There's other women. We'll be together. We'll be having another baby for Mother's and Father's Day.”
“Whatever happens, we're not having another baby.”
“You don't want a baby girl?”
“I only have boys.”
“We'll see, I'll give you a baby girl.”
“You won't.” I laughed. “There's not going to be another baby. I'm not being pregnant again.”
“Someone else can carry it. You'll have a bird who wants to have our baby for us.”
“Focus on the festival. Stop thinking about your pregnancy kink.”
“I don't like birds being pregnant, I just want a family.”
“You've got one. You don't need a football team.”
“Why not? It'd be great. Maybe not a footie team but what about one more?”
“No! We're not even getting back together.” I insisted.
“Can we talk later, after the gig or summat?”
“Yeah, alright.” I wished him happy Father's Day again and let him go.
Jamie and Sinead came over for a while since he was the boys' Goddad. They brought their Rottweiler Annie, she was their only baby. Delfina and the boys were delighted to play with Annie.
…
Liam text late at night. I snuck away to the sofa downstairs and text back telling him it was okay for him to call as long as we were quiet and quick about it.
“Did I wake you?”
“No, you're alright. Was it a good gig?”
“Yeah, I had my mind on this though.”
“This?” I played that I didn't know what we were doing.
“Is Lydia about?”
“No, she's out with her art friends.”
“From the ball thing?”
“Yeah I think so. She might stay the night with them.”
“Let's hope.” he said, excited we wouldn't be disturbed.
“Are you still hot from talking about putting a baby in me?” I teased.
“No, it's not that.”
“You can't wait to see my big pregnant belly.” I rubbed my belly like I was carrying a baby.
“Wish you were here.”
“Are you at a hotel? What's the room like?”
“It's nice, big double bed, all white sheets, decent telly, pictures of buildings, a kettle to make us a brew. Big ensuite.”
“Imagine I'm there like you want. I'm right there, you've invited me into the room and I'm on the bed with you.”
“What're you wearing?”
“Just a top and jeans. You have to get to the new underwear I bought for the trip. What about you?”
“I've already stripped. I'm in my boxers waiting for you so you'd better strip too so I can see yours.”
“They're on the floor. Do you like what I've bought?”
“I've got my hands all over your tits.”
I used my free hand on my boobs like he would.
“While I've got my hand in your boxers.”
“As sexy as it is, the bra's gotta come off. I lick your bare tits while you use your hand the way I like it.” he groaned.
“Slow down.” I thought he was going to finish before I even started.
“But you're making my kecks tight so I take them off.”
“What about mine?”
“I pull them off too and get my head between your legs.”
As he described his tongue actions I followed along with my hand in my underwear. I wished I could grab and hold his hair or something to help guide him, not that he needed it. I made sure he knew his words were working on me.
I heard someone come through the front door and lock it behind them. I panicked.
“Shit! I have to go.” I whispered. “She's back.”
“What?! No, Stacy, don't!” he begged.
“Sorry, night.”
I quickly turned my phone off, hid it behind a cushion and laid like I'd fallen asleep after watching TV. I felt bad for Liam leaving him like that. I felt bad for me. He could carry on our fantasy, I couldn't.
“Stacy.” I acted like she'd woke me up. “What're you doing on the sofa?”
“Waiting for you. I was comfy, I didn't wanna move until you were back.” I said in a sleepy voice.
“You can't sleep on the sofa all night, come on.” She grabbed my hand and took me to bed.
…
Bethanie agreed to talk to me so I went to her and Paul's house. She already told me some of her friends would be much more suited to the situation.
“Am I a lawyer or a friend?”
“I need both.” I smiled. “I know you don't do family law but I don't really want to talk to anyone else even with the confidentiality. Do we have confidentiality, even from Paul?”
“Of Course. What is it you want to talk about?”
“Noel's getting pushy about Ste's school. He wants to pick. He wants him to be local to him. He probably wants us to move to him.”
“Well he can't make you move.”
“He can use my mental illness, my lifestyle, my past. To take them and make the decisions.”
“It's true he could use you living with a girlfriend against you. Lydia's got Section 28 over her head.”
“That's why Lydia doesn't want me to talk to anyone. She already had a warning off her school.”
“It's a tricky situation. As for the past if you mean drugs he could hardly argue anything there. When was the last time you touched drugs?”
I shrugged. “Before we had Ste. I stopped so we could have a kid.”
“Did he stop?”
“For the most part. Because of the panic attacks.”
“That'll be in your favour. He's not Nathan's Dad, is he? Can you prove he isn't Nathan's dad? He can't do anything if he's not.”
“We put him on the birth certificate to protect Liam. So it wouldn't come out that he's the dad but we know how that went.”
“You'd need to change that before you did anything.”
“I’ll talk to Liam.”
“You need to talk to Noel, fix your relationship. I know it's him who broke it but it'll be a lot easier if you can work it out between yourselves. You don't want the courts to decide if you don't have to.”
“Neither of us want to, I just can't let him get there first if he does.”
“It'd be a long drawn out process especially with Noel away so much. I don't think it'll matter who starts it.”
“You can't tell Paul…”
“He won't hear a thing.”
“Are you getting on with the wedding?”
“I've hardly got time to organise it and Paul's no help. He just wants me to do it all.”
“Men don't want the wedding, they want the wife.”
“We'll be postponing at this rate.”
“You could have a quick wedding now and have the party later.”
“My family wouldn't like that.”
“Neither would Peggy. I'm sure she wants one of her boys to have a nice normal wedding and marriage.”
“Liam and Patsy's wedding was normal, wasn't it?”
Under the surface it wasn't a normal wedding day but I decided against telling her about that. “Yeah, but it's not lasted. You two are going to last because I won't medel in your relationship.”
“You mean you'll not try to fuck either of us?”
“I won't. I promise. I could help you get the wedding together. I've got loads of time.”
She was skeptical. “Is that wise?”
“Please. I'll do anything. I'll put invitations in envelopes or put those favour sweets in bags, whatever you need.”
“I'll come up with a plan. Things are gonna be a bit different mixing English, Irish and Jamaican traditions.”
“Lydia's taught us a lot about Chinese traditions. I can learn about Jamaican traditions too. I want to.”
“You got engaged, didn't you? Must be hard knowing you can't get married yet.”
“I don't know, if she was a man we wouldn't be getting married any quicker.”
“It could be a decade or more.”
“We'll be ready for the wedding by then.” I joked.
“Liam thinks I should write a book.”
“I highly advise against that. Fiction or not. It could go against you if you did get into a legal battle.”
“He thinks it'll be a laugh.”
“Will he be laughing when you're stuck in a legal battle? You need to stay away from saying anything publicly about the band, especially Noel if you think there's a chance you'll need anything like arbitration.“
I took everything she said to heart. She knew what she was talking about, I had to listen. We were lucky someone so level headed had joined the family.
…
Noel finally returned to the band in Dublin at the start of July. Just like he promised he came back for the United Kingdom (and Ireland) gigs and only those gigs. It was like his contract only made him do those ones so he had to. At least that meant he hadn't quit for real even if he was only doing half his job.
…
Liam texted me, asking to meet up at his old house. He only wanted it to be the pair of us so I made arrangements for the boys and the dog and went to see him. I thought it was strange that he wanted to meet like that but I went anyway. I couldn't wait to see him alone. I was excited to see him so I didn't care to think about his planning.
The door was unlocked so I walked in and called out for him. “Liam, I'm here! What's this about? No one's quit the band again have they?” I said jokily.
My mind was running away with how we'd spend our time together. In the kitchen, the bedroom, the bathroom, I didn't know but the anticipation was electrifying.
I expected to find him but I didn't, I found Patsy in the living room. I was so confused. I was mad to see her, she wasn't part of the plan.
She stood there waiting. “He's not here.” she answered.
“Where is he? What're you doing here?” I looked around needing to see him. “You're not supposed to be here.”
She didn't have a key, only Liam had a key. He wouldn't give her a key. She had to have taken it just to fuck with me.
“In London, getting ready for the gig. He doesn't know we're here, he leaves his phone lying  around. I need to talk to you. No distractions.”
He was supposed to be in Bolton, not London. Wembley was still almost a week away. She wouldn't have gone to Bolton and got around them to get his phone so I couldn't understand how she'd set me up.
“Well I don't want to talk to you. Why did you trick me into coming here?” I frowned, knowing I should leave.
“You broke up my marriage, don't you think I deserve an explanation?”
“No, I don't.” I stood my ground when I should've walked out.
I should've gone but I couldn't help myself. I had to stay and talk. I had nothing to say but I had to argue.
“I tried to be your friend all while you were stabbing me in the back.”
“That's bullshit! You did no such thing!”
“I was nice to you, I tried to get to know you, I tried to introduce you to my friends and all you've ever done is throw it back at me.”
“You've made all that up. You tried to get with Noel and kept Liam from us when you got with him.”
“I couldn't keep Liam from you if I kept him handcuffed to me. You'd knock me out to have time with him.”
“You spiked me to make me look like a bad mother. You can't tell me I'd do anything to you after that! I didn't do anything other than love Liam.”
“I didn't drug you, it's all your madness.”
“What is this? What do you want me to tell you? What is it, d'you want to fuck me like Liam does?”
“Eww! No! I wouldn't touch a rusty old bike like you.”
“So what then? What do you want? An apology…”
“Yes!” She cut me off. “You should apologise! Apologise for everything.”
“I'm sorry Liam loves me and you weren't enough for him.”
There was no way I'd apologise to her. I had nothing to apologise for.
“Does Lydia know you've gone off to fuck Liam? Does she know you've always got your legs open for him?”
“Does Liam know you've broken into his house?”
“Half of everything is mine. I'm going to sell this love shack and you can tell your girlfriend to pack because I'm coming for that house too.”
“You don't scare me. You need to fuck off from where you don't belong.”
“Where do you belong? Who's lives are you set on ruining now?”
“Don't pull something so stupid like this again. I won, Patsy. He's mine.” I told her forcefully. “Go find some other musician to make miserable.”
I wanted to grab her and throw her out the house but she wasn't worth the trouble. I left her before she could make up a story about me attacking her or something.
…
I was so pissed off at seeing Patsy. She wasted so much time on nothing. I couldn't give her answers or a resolution and I didn't want to. I decided to go to a bar still in Manchester to try to blow off some steam. I couldn't drink but I could find something else to do.
There was a man with brown hair sat at a table drinking a pint. He didn't look like he was waiting for anyone.
“Can I sit here?” I sat down.
He looked at me with his mesmerising blue eyes. “Go ahead.”
“Can I buy you a drink?”
“Go on. A larger.” He downed the remainder of his glass.
I went and brought back a larger and a coke.
He looked at me, wondering why.
“I just want to get merry with a stranger.”
“Merry?” he frowned. “It's not Christmas. You can't get merry in July.”
“Alright. I'll spell it out. I want to mindlessly shag you and I couldn't give a shit where.”
“Is this a joke?”
“Have you done it in a toilet before?”
“Are you a prossie? I'm not paying.”
“I just need someone. So have you or not? Will you?”
He raised his eyebrows and looked off reminiscing. “In my college days, some nights it was two separate birds.”
I smirked knowing I'd picked the right person. “Let me take you back to those days.”
“Did you go to college?”
“No but I've assisted a lot of tours with a band. I've seen a thing or two.”
“Alright I've always wanted to have it off with a roadie.”
I snorted at his dream. “I've always wanted to be that roadie.”
We sat there waiting for the other to make the next move. Sober hookups with a stranger weren't nearly as easy as drunk or high. We already talked way more than I wanted to.
I quickly drank my coke, he copied with his lager. I spotted the toilets and headed towards them. I didn't know whether he'd follow.
He got a condom from the machine and joined me in a stall.
We kissed and I unbuttoned my top.
“This for the boyfriend?” He saw my bra, the lacy, sexy bra I'd bought for Liam.
I'd gone to Ann Summers and bought it to surprise him. I'd tried to buy what he had in mind during our attempt at phone sex so he could see it for real.
“Not anymore. He stood me up.”
“He's not some bloke who'll kick my head in.” 
“No! He's not even in town. Stop thinking and do it.” I grabbed his hand and ran it down my body.
He followed my lead letting his hand find my underwear (matching the bra) while his other hand felt my tits. I unzipped his jeans and took hold of his dick.
“Gentle.” he groaned.
We massaged each other. I started praising him, not caring if I was being noisy about it.
“Shush.” He put his hand over my mouth. “You're not getting us kicked out.”
He kept his hand on my mouth as he replaced his fingers with his dick. I looked away as I imagined he was someone else. I thought about their every detail. I used my hands in the way they would to get the best out of the situation.
“Am I gonna see you again?” he asked as we straightened our clothes.
“Probably not, I'm not from round here.” I was thrown off by his question. “It's best if we don't. Thanks though.”
“What band is it?”
“Oasis.”
“Fuck off.” He shook his head. “You're a liar. I knew you were a bullshitter. So what? You've shagged Liam Gallagher?!”
I shrugged. “What band would you believe? I don't care. I got what I wanted. I'll leave first, then you.” I quickly walked out, got to my car and drove off so he couldn't keep talking.
I didn't think I cheated, not really. It was just a stupid thrill, a distraction. At least we were safe doing it. It was more like cheating when it was Liam than when it was just some guy. I got changed in a different pub, stuffing my clothes into a bag for my regular clothes. After that I picked up the boys and the dog and went home.
Lydia went out just about as soon as she knew I was home. She had some meeting with her art friends. I didn't ask about it, I was just glad to be alone after the day I'd had. I could wake up and it be a dream, a nightmare.
With Lydia out and the kids in their rooms I remembered the coke from the strip club. I held it in my hand as I flicked through the channels on TV, I couldn't settle on anything. I thought about how badly people would think of me if they saw me with the coke. No one would believe I wasn't using it. I might as well snort if I was going to get caught.
…
Lydia had to go on a trip with her art friends for their art project.
“Are you sure you don't mind me going? You'll be alright?” she asked as she packed her bag.
“I'll be fine. I want you to go.”
“You could see if Sinead or Vulpa or Kenzie will come over.”
“Kenzie's coming over to watch the gig but I don't need anyone staying over.”
“Oh yeah I'm going to miss the Wembley gig. You aren't going to decide to go there?”
“No, I'm not going down there. It's on TV.”
“What if something goes wrong with them?”
“I promise I'm staying right here. No traveling anywhere, maybe I'll go to Manchester if I feel like it but that's it.”
“Alright. As long as you don't go overreacting.”
“Well maybe I should be there if you think something's gonna happen.”
“Something always happens.”
“You're supposed to be telling me there's nothing to worry about. There's nothing for you to worry about. I'll be fine. The boys will be fine. The dog will be fine. Go do your project.”
“Alright.”
“Seriously! Go and do your thing.”
We went through it all again when her friend was waiting for her to leave. I told her to hurry, it was a long drive to Brighton.
Lydia being gone gave me time to see what life without her. I wasn't without her completely, we talked on the phone. It made me see I'd been taking her for granted like she was always going to be there.
I was so proud of her for getting into art projects. I knew she could do it. She could do a lot more than teach kids. She needed to get out on her own and focus on her own work rather than try to teach a bunch of bored teenagers.
…
     I invited Kenzie and her girls over. Oasis were playing live for their second night at Wembley and it was going to be live on TV. I had tried to make a party of it but Jamie and Sinead were away and one one else wanted to come over. Lydia was far away, she had no interest in watching an Oasis concert. Kenzie wouldn't let me down.
Yeah, the glory days of us heading off, following them to a gig was well and truly over. Instead we were having a night in, treating the kids to stay up late to watch it is all. It was a bit of a risk allowing kids to watch them in action but they knew how they talked and it wasn’t like there was drugs involved anymore. What’s the worst that could go wrong?
     We talked about wanting to go be there in person while we waited for the show to start. We could've done, it was the summer holidays. We could've made arrangements for the kids. It was like watching the football on the telly and seeing a spare seat. You were never going to go but you could've.
     Their crowd was monumentally huge, making their stage look tiny. I never got used to that, not even on the telly. I wished I was there, in the crowd, backstage, anything. They chanted Oasis over and over until the band came out.
“Look there’s your daddies.” I told the boys as they walked out on stage.
     Liam got to his mic. “If you think I'm over the moon to be here, you're fuckin' trippin’...” He rambled something about Live Aid. “I bet you with it was fucking free and taken the furniture, with the solicitors. I don't even have a fucking teabag to my name.”
  “Oh God, what’s he doing?” Kenzie commented as we witnessed Liam ranting at the crowd, and got jeers back.
  “I’d say he’s angry drunk and this ain’t gonna go well.” I grimaced for the embarrassment we were about to witness.
     Noel tried to calm things down and get the crowd back on side, showing them the peace sign. “By the way, could I just say peace and love to every single person in the whole stadium, thank you very much.”
I knew that was a bad sign. He knew what Liam was going to be like, we all did.
     But Liam had a response for his brother. “Says lazy arse who's been sat on his back for a year.”
     Into singing Go Let It Out he started changing the lyrics, adding ones of his own. “Have some fuckin' pills and die… Going there, took all the drugs man, was like…”
  “He’s not even made it through the first song.” Kenzie rolled her eyes. “Thora, Charlotta, come on, it’s late, you’re gonna bed.”
     Liam sang his next addition. “It's only a piece of furniture. Two. She takes this, she takes that, she takes this, she takes that. You fucking cow.”
  “Yeah, you too boys.” I looked at them with a glare that said there wasn’t going to be an argument about it.
  “Mum!” Thora whined. “I’m not a baby, it's not late. I’m not tired.”
  “No arguing, Uncle Liam doesn’t want you seeing him upset.” she told her as she led the kids to their rooms. “Go play with your toys.”
  “What’s wrong with him?”
  “Sometimes when adults drink too much beer, it makes them act upset and different to normal, he’ll be fine in the morning.” she explained as she took them to their rooms.
     She got back in time for his next outburst while singing Who Feels Love.
“Hat's like fucking Postman Pad. If you're to do Wembley, If you're to do Wembley it's best to be pissed out of your head.”
We joked about him being aware he was drunk.
“That was fucking rubbish.” he decided after Supersonic. “Listen, I'm in and out of here after, I ain't no celebrity, I ain't no fucking Fran Healy, I ain't no dickhead, ain't no arsing about… That bloke down the front's a pillock.”
“Be nice, be nice.” Noel tried to rein him in gently.
“Do you expect us to be professional? This place is a football field, what's so fucking good about it? I'm here with a bunch of mates and I'm fucking havin' it! You're that, you're playing Wembley Stadium, it's time to have some fuckin' excitement in this shit hole.” He kept going on about it being professional.
He dedicated Roll With It before they started the song. “This is for all the alcoholics. Noel G's more of a pisshead than I've ever been, so this one's for Noel.”
To top the embarrassment he stopped and insisted someone get their boobs out until some lass was flashing on the big screen.
We watched the whole thing play out. We wanted to turn it off but we couldn't stop watching. If she wasn't there to watch it with me, I didn't know what I'd do. I was hurt to see him so upset. I made it worse for him, provoking Patsy.
“This is gonna be the end, end.” I sighed.
“At least it was interesting, infamous. Everyone's going to be talking about it.”
“It's all my fault. If I could just leave Liam alone…”
“You did, you walked away all that time. He came to you, it's his fault. It's not you who's wrecked their marriage. It's him.”
“It's both of us. We both want more than we can have.”
She let out a deep breath. “I cheated on Darren. After Noa was born he didn't want to talk in case I got upset. He didn't want to touch me in case I got hurt or we ended up doing it all again. I don't know. So I cheated. I had a one night stand. Someone I didn't know. It was nothing but I can't stand that I did it.”
“He doesn't need to know. What he doesn't know can't hurt him.” I had no idea their relationship was in trouble because I avoided the whole situation around baby Noa as much as I could.
“It's not like the old days when we were all doing it. We're together. We're meant to be faithful.”
“He would understand. It's a difficult thing what happened with Noa but you're getting through it together.”
“I don't think I would get it if it was the other way.”
“You don't know that. He's not going to find out so forget about it. You're not gonna do it again. You're not splitting up and he's not gonna go off like Liam just has.”
Darren wasn't anything like Liam. He didn't wear his heart on his sleeve. He didn't lash out at things. I did my best to assure Kenzie until she calmed down.
     Soon after they'd left the stage I got a phone call. I had a million guesses that all lead to Noel’s left the band, what else could he do after that? It didn’t take a genius to see how embarrassed and upset he was.
  “You need to tell your boyfriend to stop drinking, sort him out.”
  “He's not my boyfriend.” I pointed out, yet again.
     I didn’t know why I was still denying it. Everybody knew he might as well be, everyone except Patsy obviously. Although maybe she did, she was divorcing him for a reason. If it wasn't for Lydia we'd have nothing to hide.
  “Just sort him out, that was the most fucking embarrassing…”
     I cut him off. “What do you want me to do about it? Put him on the naughty step?”
  “Did the kids watch it?”
  “They were going to until we saw how drunk he is.” I told him. “I don't know why you've called me when I'm miles away. I don't know what to tell you. Just put him in a bed and let him sleep it off.”
“I should've never fucking let him work with me.”
“Come on, half of all of this is you two.”
“And the other half?”
“Your talent obviously… just don't do anything rash.”
He scoffed. “You're telling me not to be rash?!”
“Yes! Please don't cancel everything.”
”I came back for this shit. I can't keep doing this.”
This time I couldn't argue, not that night. I couldn't defend Liam after he got so drunk and lashed out at people who didn't deserve it.
…
Liam came to our door the day after they were done at Wembley.
I was surprised. I didn't think he would come to us so soon. I thought he'd want to be alone or with  his mum, escaping the humiliation he'd brought on him and his band. If anything I thought I'd have his older brother chewing my ear, blaming me.
I tried not to be mad at him but I couldn't help having a go. I didn't know whether to hug him tight or throttle him. “Why do you have to do it? Why do you think everyone wants to know your business?”
“I needed to say it. People fucking love it.”
“People love your music, they want to see you play it.”
“They buy the CD for music, they go to the gigs for the event.”
“Yeah but…” I didn't know what to say, he wasn't going to listen anyway.
“It won't be like that again, I promise.” He looked me in the eye. “I'm not gonna drink again, definitely not at the gigs. I'm gonna make it right.”
“Alright, you can work on that when you go back.”
“Where's Lydia?”
“Still in Brighton.”
“Cool. I can do without her shouting at me anall.” He sounded like he couldn't handle any more stress.
“She doesn't shout at you.”
“Does. I want a quiet couple of days with you.”
”Then be glad she's still working on her project.”
“Isn't Brighton where all the gays live?”
“Yeah… I guess.”
“What if she's down there cheating on you?”
“Don't put that idea in my head so I'll cheat on her.” I frowned.
“I’m not here for that, I've not got the energy for it.”
“Seriously?”
“Not unless you want to.”
“I don't! I'm not getting in trouble again.”
“Sometimes trouble's good.”
”I'm all out of trouble I can get into.”
“Yeah, what've you been doing?”
“The usual.” I decided not to tell him any details so he could relax.
Since Lydia wasn't there we were inseparable. It was so rare that we could just have time together. We had to make the most of it. 
We slept together in his bed like a proper couple. We didn't have sex, we just cuddled. It was so comforting to hold each other so close. We needed each other. It was far more intimate than a shag. I wasn't looking forward to him going. It might not be a bad thing if the band called it a day.

Author Note- This was the fastest I could get the chapter together and be pretty happy with it. I spent a lot of time worrying it had already been May and I was going over time I'd already covered but I think I was mixing up May and March, I hope it was worth the not so long wait.

Liverpool just lost to Man City so I wish I hadn't had Stacy be nice to them. I had to make that match up since I decided on it then realised the season was over by then.

There's so much sex I thought Wattpad might private the chapter. Its pretty vague so I hope not. I've been watching the original The L Word and it's like they're having sex every few minutes. They even had characters go to a strip club but I took it from a scene in Breaking Bad since I've watched all of that and Better Call Saul. I have a long list of shows I might watch and I still don't know what I'm gonna watch next yet. 

I took the Liam quotes from a website and forum rather than trying to listen over and over so I can't say if they're accurate.

I've had Soft Cell's Wave Hello, Say Goodbye in my head for a while since it's one of the songs my car music player and usb stick will play the rest is basically Scissor Sisters I'm sick of them! I think it must be because Stacy and Lydia would have it as their break up song if they break up.

I thought about making Sims 4 Sims of everyone but I probably wouldn't make them look anything like they're supposed to I've only made a couple if male Sims and they look strange to me. I bet if I search for Gallaghers in the library it'll be all characters from American Shameless.