Let's All Make Believe - Oasis

Chapter 35

Liam was shocked. I'd just kissed him and told him I loved him after keeping him at arm's length since the moment I got pregnant. I'd never ever changed how I felt about him. I couldn't deny it any longer, not after all he'd done for me. He never stopped stopped loving me but I was terrified he'd reject me now.

"I love you too, you fucking know that but..."

I couldn't take that kick in the teeth. "Please don't say but, please don't tell me she's stopping you cos she didn't before."

"I can't divorce her just like that, you know I can't and it's probably not fucking good for you to be getting in a relationship right now."

"I'm doing fine, I'm better now. I can handle us." I insisted, wishing I knew the words that would convince him I was strong again.

"What if it's delusion, delusion of love or affection or summat?"

"Erotomanic, it isn't my delusion that you love me, you just said it and my delusions were all Persecutory so don't try to palm me off with my schizophrenia. I know how I feel about you."

"I'm not."

"You are or why else would you be trying to go psychologist on me?"

"And what if you start getting paranoid that people know or summat?

"The medicine and the therapy's stopped that. I'm not going to get paranoid or anything. I just want us back."

"I can't do it, I can't take advantage."

"Take advantage? Now you're concerned about taking advantage? Not all the time I was drunk, high, depressed and everything else but now my mind's finally clear."

"It's not though, is it? You still believe things, you still..."

"I don't! I know what's real now. Our love is real, it's been through everything. If it wasn't for Georgia, we'd have been together the moment you found me."

"We don't know that."

"Are you here for me or because I had your son and went mental?"

"For you but Nathan made it so I can't have it when you're pushing me away."

"Would you be here if I hadn't got pregnant?"

He didn't even have to think about it. "Yes!"

"Then why are ya trying to stop what's right?!"

"Cos we've got responsibilities, we can't fuck things up no more."

We were stuck in limbo. It wasn't like we were starting an affair or continuing one. It was just that once again we both knew we loved each other but we still couldn't be together. There was always going to be someone stood in our way.

We left it as though the conversation had never happened. We were used to pretending nothing happened between us. I shouldn't have said anything.

I had an idea to help Liam see past the Schizophrenia and everything else so we could see each other for who we were again. "We need to start again."

He looked confused.

"Hi, I'm Stacy but some people call me Yorkie." I held my hand out although I wasn't a fan of handshakes.

He frowned like he was trying to assess if this was a breakdown or if he should play along with me. "I'm Liam, good to meet ya."

"You're pretty good looking. I want to get to know you so we should go on a date."