Let's All Make Believe - Oasis

Chapter 23

    The home visitor came and went. It was fine. She said Nathan was doing great, he was putting on weight and growing as he should be. She thought I was doing good too but Liam still took her to one side and tried to discuss me having postnatal depression. It was like he wanted me to be mentally ill, that way he'd be able to take the kids and I'd have no way of stopping him.

    She did her best to reassure him that I didn't have it. I'd done my best to show her I didn't have it. I got dressed before she came, making sure the kids were up and dressed too. And we all had breakfast together. We tidied up the flat.When she got there the real acting begun. I was talkative. I cooperated with her. I let them both have Nathan. You had to present yourselves at the perfect family to those people anyway.

    I didn't have it. Liam just wanted there to be something wrong with me so that he could never leave and if he did it was with my kids. He'd take them down to London and have them live that life with Patsy. He had to prove me an unfit mother first. That was why he was so keen to pin it on me.

...

    Liam came into my room while I was breastfeeding with my boobs completely out since I thought I was alone. I reacted angrily while trying to cover myself up. "You can't just walk in here."

    He never listened to a word anyone ever told him. It was getting so old. Why couldn't he just respect what I'd told him and keep to his own business? I was so close to calling his wife and making her drag him back home.  I couldn't stand him anymore.

 "Why?"

 "This is me and George's room, it's private. I told you."

 "But you've got my son in here." He got comfy on my bed. "That means I should be allowed."

 "Get off." I scowled at him. "I told you to go."

 "But I wanna talk and it's not like I've not seen them before." he nodded towards my chest, not moving an inch.

    I didn't have the energy to argue with him, especially as it was Liam so I didn't bother pointing out that it wasn't about my state of dress. "What is it?"

 "Ste's gone down for his nap."

 "Okay. Thanks."

 "Why are ya being such a bitch?"

 "I'm not."

 "You are. You've done nowt but fucking shut me off since I got here."

 "I haven't. I didn't mean to."

 "Let me in then. Y'know I'm here to stay, I'm too fucking stubborn..."

 "I know, I know who you are."

 "I'm your best friend or I used to be until..."

    I shook my head. "You are."

 "Couldn't feel further from the fucking truth."

 "What do we do then?"

 "Did you give me a second thought when you found out about him?"

 "No."

    He looked at me until I explained myself. "There was no point. Noel had just..."

 "I'm not Noel!"

 "If there's anyone you're not and never will be, it's Noel. I do know that. You are Oasis though which meant no contact."

    I laid out the truth. I had lied to myself in every way possible to hide the pregnancy from myself so when I "found out" I only thought about accepting the fact. I didn't spare him a second thought because I believed he hadn't for me. I thought he would've found me already, he didn't in five months, he didn't care. Plus I didn't want to put an extramarital baby into his life especially not how things had gone with his brother. I didn't want to put that on him.