Vodka Kisses

0223- The Eye of the Beholder*

"Gracie?" Logan yawns.

I turn to the sound of his voice.

I couldn't really sleep. So after Logan fell asleep I came over to my window seat and fought the urge to smoke weed. That quickly dissolved when I realised I had no drugs in my house at all because I'd gone through them all.

I've just sat here worrying about my mom.

I turn back to look out my window.

There's rustling before Logan talks.

"How long have you been up?" He asks.

"I didn't sleep." I tell him.

"Why didn't you wake me?" He asks.

"I just wanted some alone time." I admit.

He sits behind me and puts his hands on my shoulders to massage them but I roll my shoulders back so he gets the hint not to touch me.

"Talk to me." He says and I just shake my head.

"Are you angry with me?" He asks.

"No." I say.

He hasn't done anything wrong.

There's silence for a little longer but I just lean back into him.

"Do you want me to drive you to the hospital?" He asks.

"I should probably drive myself." I say and he nods.

He stands from behind me before kneeling down in front of me.

"Look at me a sec." He says using his hand to make me turn to look down at him.

"Don't withdraw from me now, we're here. We're both sober and our families and friends know about us. It's okay, I promise. I love you." He kisses my hand.

"This isn't about you. It's about my mom. I'm just worried about my mom." I tell him and he nods.

"I'll do a coffee and breakfast run okay?" He throws on his hoodie and sweats before grabbing his keys then he's out.

I check the time on my phone to see it's 6am.

Visiting hours start at 8am.

I head to my bathroom and get in the shower.

I don't take long, I just need to get out of here. Once I'm out of the shower I get dressed.

I put on some jeans and a white silk shirt that I tuck into my jeans. I put on some white leather ankle booties.

I do my makeup, I need to cover up the fact I haven't slept.

I tie my hair completely back off of my face and quickly add my jewellery.

Logan wasn't long, he comes up stairs with coffees and breakfast muffins.

He places them on my desk before making his way over to me.

"You look beautiful." He tells me as he tries to pull me into him.

"I can't." I say pulling away from him.

I don't want him to touch me. I've got a lot going on right now and if I let him touch me it's going to turn into something bigger because I have no control.

He can't fix this and he can't make it better.

I reach for my phone, ignoring all my calls and texts and look for my dad's messages.

Nothing from him, just that he was staying with my mom last night.

"Gracie drink this it'll help you feel better." Logan says holding my coffee out for me.