Feeling Again-Mattheo Riddle;Book 2

Chapter 19: One Last Time You'll Be Seeing Me

Snow's POV: 

TW: Mentions of self harm and drugs, potentially triggering to SA victims, showcasing of SH scars, mentions of relapse

Also a note, the actions Mattheo does later on will seem odd, considering he's gone through similar problems and because I dont wanna face backlash, I wanna make it clear that it's to showcase how he still has trauma that hasn't been coped with yet and is willing to cross boundaries for Snow.  (btw, this isn't an excuse, never cross someone's boundaries) 

Also, there will be *kinda* forceful showing of SH scars. PLS NEVER FORCE SOMEONE TO SHOW THEIR SH SCARS as it can be very triggering to the victim as will be shown here! Instead, use words and be comforting, patient, and polite. 

"C'mon c'mon, don't leave me like this, I thought I had you figured out-" Taylor Swift, Haunted 

"Are you high?" He asked. 

"Yes, Loren, I'm an idiot." I put out my cigarette and spell it away. "I took Xanax before I came here to fucking calm my nerves but I just feel more odd." 

The atmosphere was only serious for a minute before the two of us started laughing like maniacs again. 

"Any plans..." he laughed again, still in a manic state, "for you birthday tomorrow?" 

"If I'm being honest, I almost completely forgot about it. Probably go to Hogsmeade with Mattheo." 

He nodded and puffed his cigarette again. "Remember your birthday last year..." 

I laughed again, and I couldn't stop. "Stop making me laugh!" I laugh again. And again. "You're going to make me cry!" 

Loren's face dropped so suddenly that I stopped laughing. "What happened?" But then I felt it. Something... someone else was here. I turned towards the stairs and see a shocked Mattheo standing there. 

I immediately stood up as I saw him begin walking down the stairs again. "Mattheo, wait!" I heard his footsteps cascading quickly down the stairs and I immediately ran after him. I saw his figure entering the Slytherin dorms and I followed as quickly as my legs would carry me. 

It was quiet. Everyone was likely in their dorms by now, and I just heard the slam of Mattheo's dorm. I rush up the stairs to the boys dormitory and knock on his door. I knock again. And again. He still didn't open it. 

"Alohomora." The door clicked open and I entered, closing the door behind me. Mattheo was sitting on the down on the ground, his back leaning against the bed. He didn't look up at me at all. "Mattheo, please." 

He looked up, hatred in his eyes. "I actually trusted you." The look in his eyes wasn't something I saw in a long time. It was something that scared me. His voice was only slightly louder now, but it was the deadly venom behind it that made it so terrifying. "I thought to myself, 'Snow would never do that,' and then I find you out with your ex boyfriend!" 

"It wasn't-"

"I never thought you'd cheat on me! Do you get that? I trusted you!" 

"Mattheo!" I yell through, cutting him off. I stand closer to him and look him in the eyes. My voice changed, a voice Mattheo never heard before. "I didn't cheat on you. I never have cheated on you. I never will cheat on you." 

Mattheo's eyes were switching between both my eyes and his eyebrows scrunched in confusion. "When did you start using nicotine?" 

I shrugged my shoulders. 

"Snow... when did you start using it," he asked, more commanding this time. 

"When school ended." 

"Last year?" He said in shock. I gulped and nodded. Suddenly he grabbed the sides of my face. Not harshly, but it was a shock. He gently opened my eyes a bit wider before stepping back completely.