Feeling Again-Mattheo Riddle;Book 2

Chapter 24: Champagne Problems

Two weeks later: 

TW: Withdrawl, Smoking

The search party has been bringing me stress. I have to be ultra careful whenever I go get supplies to risk not getting identified. If only I was an animagus. 

I'm sweating, I have the worst stomach ache of my entire life, and I barely have the motivation to move and do anything. Two weeks in and I barely got my Xanax prescription down. It's only down by half a pill, and it's pathetic. It's taking all my willpower to not just down the entire bottle. My cramps were hurting so bad, and I couldn't even focus on anything around me. 

"Fuck this," I mutter, and step out of the cave. There was a forest around the cave and I began running as far away as I could. I didn't even know where I was going. All I knew is I needed to get the hell away from wherever I was. 

After, I wanna say 5 minutes, I ended up in the middle of the woods, panting. I had sweat all over me and I was shivering despite the fact that I was wearing a sweater. Gripping onto the tree next to me, I slowly fall onto the ground, my back against the tree. I scoff at how tired I am. Last year I would be scolding myself for not running some more. My stamina has decreased so significantly and that just adds another reason for me to cry. 

I may be 17 but physically, I'm acting like a 30 year old. Times like these were when I felt lonely, and so I pulled out the last thing I had. The letter Mattheo gave to me after I sent him my goodbye letter. And I never responded. 

Mattheo's POV: 

I couldn't sleep that night. I don't think anyone close to Snow could. Honestly, even her enemies couldn't. She never even responded to my letter. Did she even read it? Does she want to read it? Fuck, what is it with us and letters? 

I rest my head on my table and don't even move and stay still. I have no energy to do anything. I focus all my minimal energy into praying none of the death eaters had informed Voldemort about anything yet. But I knew that was just wishful thinking. 

When I lift my head up, I'm so shocked to see it's dark outside. 

What the fuck, it was 7:45 PM just minutes ago. 

Except now it was 11:30 PM. 

Where'd all the time go? 

I've officially gone insane. Minutes and hours are melding together into some sort of mesh into my mind and I can't comprehend a single thing. My soul feels detached from my body as I leave my dorm and wonder to the astronomy tower to meet up with Snow as per usual. Except she isn't there. 

I stare at the spot she was sitting the day I last saw her in person. If she was going to leave, I wish it was when we were on good terms so I wouldn't feel fucking guilty. And the worst part is she left because of me. 

"You're here too, huh?" I turn around and see the last person I want to right now. 

"Hello Loren." Part of me is mad because of how much of a jackass I was to him. "What brings you here?" I ask, more formally than I intended. 

"Wow," he says, mocking in his voice. "No detention or punishment for being out after hours for me?" 

I scoffed and slid down on the ground where Snow was sitting that day. "That'd be unfair of me, considering how much of a jerk I was to you." 

"THE, Mattheo Riddle, admitting he did something stupid. Unheard of," he joked. I chuckled slightly as he sat across from me, lighting up a cigarette. "Don't worry about it." 

I sigh, the words in Snow's letter playing back, over and over. 

"What's up with you?" he asked. 

"Gee, I wonder what's up," I sarcastically remark. He clicked his tongue, acknowledging that it was a stupid question. "I don't know, I just can't figure out how I can be strong and continue being a good person without having someone as amazing as her with me while I do it." 

"I think you're looking at the whole being a good person thing wrong, mate." 

Not your mate, but alright. 

"You're not being a good person for her, you're being a good person for everyone and yourself. Yes, she may have encouraged it, but she doesn't have to be here for you to not be a jackass." 

I scoffed, knowing he's the last person I should be listening to for advice on being a good person, but he's right. I sigh, silently agreeing with him as I look back out. Is it possible I'm looking at her hiding space right now? 

"Where do you think she is, Loren?" 

In my peripheral vision, I see him shrug and look back at me. "Not in the UK, she's too smart for that." 

That's exactly what she would think... 

"C'mon," he holds out a cigarette towards me. "Take a hit, if you want that is." 

"Oh, I quit." 

He nodded and put it back in his pocket. But I really needed it right now. I really really did. But was it worth it. Undoing all my progress. Unraveling when I was supposed to be stronger than ever. Will one hit change everything. 

I was about to change my mind when Voldermort's owl flew in. 

I'm soooo sorry that I was gone the entire week hahaha. Anyways, short chapter but I hope u liked it hehe- The next chapter will be soon... 

Do we think Voldermort has found out by now? 

Do u guys imagine Mattheo having an American or British accent?