C͓̽L͓̽U͓̽B͓̽ P͓̽A͓̽R͓̽A͓̽D͓̽I͓̽S͓̽E͓̽

9

I'm pissed.

First off, I flew back for this release party only to find out that it won't be happening. Something about something not being ready. In all honesty I don't even give a fuck. It's been two weeks and i've yet to talk to Onika. I know I said I was gonna do better but this shit is hard. My schedule all messed up.

I'm staying up till about 6am everyday and waking back up at 9am. Losing sleep and shit for this. I need everything to be perfect, not a thing should be messed up. I'll lose my mind if my hard work was to come out in shambles.

Only thing I can really think about is Onika. If she's already giving up on me. I just keep letting her down, every time. And my excuses are never good enough. Yes I could call her in between but the focus I have right now, I can't fall off. I really want to move back home and I want nothing to be on my hands when I make the move.

Mama even yelled at me because I told her I hadn't been answering Onika. Only reason I talked to her is because she'll get to calling the people around me. I don't need her cursing my people out over me not answering my phone. It's embarrassing.

And I haven't given Onika any of their numbers because I know she'll come so hard. I definitely don't need her calling them. Make her mad enough and she'll go in on everybody like they're the reason. No.

"Bey we just might be ready." One of the guys that work the label came in the studio. This is where I do everything. I don't trust nobody enough to come in my apartment, so this is where it all happens. Yea I got enough money to move shit up, but i'm not about to go that way. Rather go the cheap way.

I got a family to take care of.

"Shit, two weeks later." I mugged him and snatched the papers from his hands. Scanning through it, the approval was there. On the inside I was jumping with joy but I couldn't show it. I'm still a bit pissed. "Get this shit together then. The party need to be done this week. I need to go see my family."

"Didn't you just come back? You never leave like this."

"Mind your business. I said the party need to be done by this week. Make it happen or i'll leave without it being done. Me leaving ain't got shit to do with you."

"Woah. Alright. It'll be announced by tonight and done by Friday. Geez." Sassy ass. He walked out the studio and I checked the time. It was 5:55am and I groaned while getting my shit together. Now I gotta go home and try to go to sleep.

Hopefully I don't have to get up early since everything is starting to flow. I'll even try to give Onika a call with hopes that she'll answer. She's an early bird anyways, i'm sure she's up. Well it's a totally different time there, I think it's 9am. So I know for sure that she's up.

My security walked me to my car and I headed home. I was chewing on my nail the whole way because I'm scared to call Onika. When I made it in my room, I laid straight down. A shower wasn't even necessary at the moment. I'll most likely be waking back up in a couple hours and sitting in the same spot again. This is tiring.

The bed felt so good, my eyes started closing. But the ringing of my phone made me jump up and remember what I was supposed to do.

"Shit." I cursed as Onikas name flashed across the screen. Ain't this some shit. After a few seconds of staring, I answered and sat against the headboard.

"Wow, you're alive." She sounded so unbothered and I had to keep myself awake. My eyes were closing again, all while I was sitting up. "Beyoncé."

"Mm? Sorry. I'm half fucking sleep, i'm just now getting home, i'm sorry mama. What you doing?" I focused on the phone to see her sitting on the floor doing something. Most likely working on shipping stuff since I see boxes.