C͓̽L͓̽U͓̽B͓̽ P͓̽A͓̽R͓̽A͓̽D͓̽I͓̽S͓̽E͓̽

40

I hit a month today. I'm just not feeling good. I've called Bey twice and her team answered the second time saying she was on stage. That broke my heart because I can't even see her do her big thing. I've been in my feelings that's all.

We talk when she can but that's not enough for me. I need to see her face when i'm crying or not feeling good. The only thing that's been on my mind is going with her. I'm not sure where she is in this tour but....ive been having a thought of hopping on the jet. I really want to, bad.

Since I couldn't talk to Bey I called Redd. We've barely been talking much and I really do miss her. She was my backbone at some point. Yes I understand what her and Bey have going on but...she's still my friend.

"Skeyeee!" She answered loudly and I pouted in the phone. That made her tighten up quick. "What's wrong?"

"I don't feel good and I miss my baby."

"Oh she's on stage girl."

"How you know?" I frowned at the phone. Only way I found out is because of her team. So...

"I used to be a fan of the girl Onika. All them beyhives are live on instagram and stuff. Have been since late last night as they sat in them long ass lines."

Mmm, make sense. I made a mental note to follow some of those accounts. Just to see what they post and if my baby's okay. I'm sure they can tell me where she is as well. But Bey says I shouldn't really communicate too much with her supporters because some of them are weird and will go too far.

"You said used to, are you not a fan of her anymore?"

"Mmm, i'm not too fond of her herself anymore. But i'm still a fan of the Beyoncé. Just not my friends girlfriend Beyoncé, make sense?"

"Mm, I get it." I mumbled rubbing my eye. Allergies have been soooo bad this week. I've had to go to the doctor to get medicine and they suggested I stay away from all grass and trees. That's literally nature how the fuck am I gonna do that honestly? So i've just been in the house.

I'm gonna have to leave today because I need to go to the warehouse and take more inventory to the store. There's been some new pieces I got and I wanna put a few up to see how they do. Then i'm gonna take some to the boys at mommas house and have them try the pieces on.

I at least wanna do something to get me out this house. It's so boring sitting inside and it doesn't feel right going out since I can't get drunk. Just pointless.

"I was about to start getting ready to head to the store. I'm on closing today."

"Who else is with you?"

"Aubrey and Jada."

"Oh.... Do you guys like working together?" I wanted to ask everyone that just to see how things are going. Like I told Bey, I don't know if they trust each other enough to be left alone. So I think if I hear all positive things about who they work with, i'll be fine. I think. My business is my baby too.

"Yea they cool or whateva. Aubrey funny and Jada is like the one that keeps us together."

That's nothing new. One thing about Jada, she's gonna keep someone in check. It's been like that since the beginning of us. I literally started being cool with her because she told a boy to stop talking to me. She thought I was a little kid thoguh...I was only a grade under her like...

But she's very kind and genuine. Everything she does comes from the heart unless you don't deserve it. Her mouth is very slick though.

Now Aubrey...she's a goof. I love her so much but she just like to play. And she loves to be gay even though she's not even gay. That girl love some dick. If I didn't know that, then I wouldn't be so chill when she's being all flirty with me. It's best to just laugh it off and push her away.