Eclipse: *walks into the kitchen to see the rest of the team*
Eclipse: hello people who do not live here
Ruby: hi
Yang: hey
Blake: hi
Weiss: hi
Eclipse: I gave you that key for emergencies
Yang: we were out of Doritos
__
(They're all like 12 here because I said so and it makes this even funnier)
Ozpin: Okay children, let's start today off with a few new math problems. *starts writing on the board* What is 5x2?
.
.
.
Ozpin: C'mon children, don't be shy, just give it your best shot. *Sun raises his hand* Yes Sun?
Sun: 12?
Ozpin: Okay. Now let's try to get an answer from someone who's not a complete idiot.
Neptune: I think I know the answer, Mr. Ozpin!
Eclipse: i ThInK i KnOw ThE aNsWeR mR. oZpIn
Neptune: Shut up dunce!
Eclipse: Ay! Don't call me a dunce you fucking whore!
Ozpin: Eclipse, did you just say the f word?
Eclipse: ...whore?
Neptune: He's talking about fuck. You can't say fuck in school you fucking dumbass!
Ozpin: NEPTUNE!
Eclipse: why the fuck not??
Ozpin: ECLIPSE!
Blake: Dude you just said fuck again?
Ozpin: BLAKE!
Weiss: fuck.
Ozpin: WEISS!
Eclipse: What's the big deal? It doesn't hurt anybody? Fuck-fuckity-fuck-fuck-fuck!
Ozpin: HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE THE SCHOOL COUNSELOR?!
Eclipse: How would you like to suck my balls?
Ozpin: WHAT DID YOU SAY?!
Eclipse: Oh I'm sorry, I'm sorry, what I said was—
Sun: *hands her a megaphone*
Eclipse: HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS, MR. OZPIN?
Blake: Holy shit.
__
Eclipse, cupping Weiss' face: And guess who gets to be my little helper~
Weiss, lowkey fed up with her shit: It's me. I'm the helper 😒
Eclipse: That's right you sure are
Jaune as Nora blows a whistle: Alright that's enough!
Eclipse: What's the matter? You don't believe in positive affirmation
Jaune: Not from some freaky handsy demon!
__
Tai: how are you ever going to marry a nice person like Jupiter
Eclipse: which one is it Tai? Marry a nice person or someone like Jupiter?
Jupiter: if you were my wife I would put poison in your coffee
Eclipse: if you were my wife I'd drink it
__
Neptune: I just took a picture of your license plate. Your life is ruined
YOU ARE READING
The Grimm Huntress
FanfictionWhile Ozpin fought against Salem, immortal and using other people as his tools, the brother gods watched disgusted. One of them decided to give his powers to a child. A child he was sure would be different than Ozpin even after learning the truth. A...
