NCT One-Shots

Back To You pt.2|RenHyuck

Renjun x Donghyuck

Donghyuck is truly questioning what possessed him to go to Renjun. Sure, he can blame Chenles sudden admittance of Renjuns feelings, but he could've waited longer for when he actually gets his bearings. Instead, his route lead him right to Renjuns door, with the intention of questioning the male on his feelings.

He's not sure he believes what he's been told, though he knows Chenle wouldn't lie to him. It just makes no sense. He's so convinced, so sure that Renjun doesn't return his feelings. He has felt it. Far too much of it and far too long to be willing to accept any information that's different.

Yet, he still asks, "Is it true?"

"What?" Renjun asks softly, slightly scared about the direction this conversation is gonna go in.

"Is it true? Do you..", Donghyuck lowers his voice like he's afraid someone else is around, "do you have feelings for me?"

Renjun takes a moment, a deep breath, a mental note that he will be okay even if this goes bad. His lets his eyes meet Donghyucks, trying to display all his sincerity, even though it makes him uncomfortable and peaks anxiety. "I do."

"Wha-what? Why?"

Renjun hates the way Donghyuck looks and sounds confused. Like he genuinely can't believe it. He hates himself for it, making him feel like this would never happen. He knows he can't help it, but this is definitely a less preferred reaction.

"Are you okay with it?"

The question throws Donghyuck off. Is he okay with it? The person who previously felt like a dream, who started to feel way worse, like something rotten, finally likes him back. Donghyucks feelings aren't completely gone, but does he even want to entertain this?

"I don't...I don't know."

"Is there any way I can make it up to you? Any way we can...we can do something. I wanna be able to hug you."

"Why? You've never wanted hugs before." Maybe his tone was a little harsh but Donghyuck means it, why is Renjun trying so hard for the things he seemed to hate?

Renjun feels desperation clawing up his body, emotions quickly becoming too much. He can feel the tears threatening spill and the way he's ready to say or do anything to make Donghyuck stay and talk this out with him. "I miss them. I want it now." Donghyuck raises an eyebrow so he continues. "I didn't realize I would lose it, so I didn't think to cherish it, but I want it. I want you close to me. I wanna be able to say what I'm thinking without having to stop myself. I don't wanna hurt you, I just wanna like you, Hyuck. Let me like you."

"You want to like me and you want me to return it."

"In an ideal world, yes." Donghyuck looks away from Renjun and then down at the ground, becoming anxious about this topic. Renjun takes a step forward. "You don't have to like me back, I just-I wanna show you I like you."

This is everything Donghyuck has been wanting to hear. If he ignores his negative thoughts, then he can fully believe that Renjun likes him. That he wants him.

He can't ignore those negative thoughts, though, the ones telling him this is something he made up to make himself feel better about the fact that Renjun doesn't like him and probably never will.

"Renjun, you...", Donghyuck trails off, hardly able to figure out what he's feeling and what he wants to say. After a minute, he takes a deep breath and tries again. "Even if you like me, you wanna show me, you'd...if we ever got together, you wouldn't like it. You don't like it now and I'm not gonna magically become a different person now that there's hope for us. I...it hurt so much because everything I'd do, you've experienced and you didn't like it. Maybe you're used to it, so it's comforting that way but once you get that again, it's gonna be too much again and I can't do that with you, Renjun."