NCT One-Shots

To My First|NoHyuck

Jeno x Donghyuck

More song lyrics that I will never claim are good but I'd still like you to not steal them, thank you :) They also get kind of repetitive, it's on purpose

And reading tip: Pretend I know what I'm talking about (I don't)

Jeno scribbles on page after page, trying to get out all the words he wishes he could say out loud instead of on paper.  As his motivation dims, he lets out a sigh and looks through all the papers, unfinished. There are more on his phone, also incomplete. He doubts it will help but he still decides to go through all his attempts and see if he can bring himself to think any of them are decent.

He comes across one that he can't decide if it's horrible or has potential. He reads out loud and then tries to sing it, having no idea what it was meant to sound like when he wrote it. After staring at it for a little more, he decides it's horrible and looks for another one that's hopefully better. 

The next one just makes him laugh.

What do I do when all I wanna do is flirt with you?
Get a little personal with you
I just wanna be the one you're talking to
Light up my phone with texts from you
Drives me insane how much I want you
Want everything from you

Jeno goes to the next one and immediately remembers when he wrote it. He was in the backseat of an Uber, on his way to an important event but not even thinking about it, too occupied with wanting to talk to his best friend, Donghyuck. The guy he's in love with.

If I was on trial, I'd have to plead guilty
For the crime I keep committing
Not my fault, you're so addicting

It should be a crime how often I think about your lips
What it would be like if we kissed
And I know and I know I shouldn't be falling so hard
But you stole my heart
Don't give it back
Keep it and keep me

He gets to the next song on his phone and sees the change from how the previous one was. He doesn't remember if it's the first song he wrote when he realized he's tired of feeling like this, but it doesn't really matter. There are plenty more with the same message.

I don't wanna fight, I don't wanna talk
I just want to make myself stop crying
Wanna make my heart stop bleeding out
All these unrequited feelings
Should know better by now

I just wanna move on
Get out and forget about your arms

He looks at the next one and can just imagine how he felt when he wrote it. 

I want back all the nights I stayed up to text you
All the songs I sent just to make you smile
All the words you took from my heart
All the love you drained from me
I want back all the memories
All the thoughts I had before wanting you and me

I want my life back before you ruined it all for me

Jeno clicks on the next song and sees that it actually looks complete, something rare for this concept. 

The worst part of it all isn't even that it happened
It's that I don't know how to go back to not loving you the way I do

How do I stop when I'm so used to falling in?
Finding all the reasons why someone would want you
How do I forget everything?
How can I remember how not to love you?

Wanna say that I'd turn back time but I honestly wouldn't

Maybe Jeno would. He keeps reading.

The pain mixed so well with the pleasure, I didn't always care when my heart was burning