Jimin didn't want a true mate. As much as Jungkook tried to push and followed him to every city he went, he couldn't let himself want it. It was too much. Especially after what his sire had done to him.
He'd left Taehyung and Hoseok behind begrudgingly in that hotel room after discovering that Jungkook was apparently fated to him. But Jimin didn't want a destiny. He didn't even really want to exist.
When Jungkook caught up to him for the sixth time, he stood under the streetlights in the city of Prague and shouted, "You don't actually want me, Jungkook, so just stop! Leave me alone! You only want me because of some stupid fated true mate destiny bullshit. You don't even know me!"
"All I want, all I'm asking for, is the chance to change that! We're meant to be together! I just want to know who you are and what you're like. Don't you want that too? Isn't there the tiniest part of you that is curious what it would be like?" Jungkook pleaded in anguish.
"No," Jimin lied. He desperately wanted to know. He wanted to be loved. However, he had spent decades being convinced that he wasn't worthy of it by his sire. "Just...please, Jungkook. Please just leave me alone," Jimin begged on the verge of tears.
Jungkook was crushed, but stubborn. "I can't do that. You may not want to know, but I do. I've waited a lifetime to find one single person I can actually love. I'm not going to give up that chance now. One day you'll give me a chance and I'll love you so deeply that you'll forget there was ever a time when I didn't," Jungkook vowed.
When Jungkook found him again in Amsterdam, Germany, Taehyung couldn't help his curiosity any longer. "Why won't you give Jungkook a chance? He's pretty energetic, and kind of pushy, but he's actually a really nice guy. He's super sweet and really romantic to the boys he likes. If I have a true mate out there somewhere, I would think I'd want to be with them, you know?"
Jimin didn't answer right away. "It's just...it isn't real. He doesn't really know me. And once he does, he'll be so disappointed. He'll find out that I'm really not all that special. He'll find out he's destined to be true mates with someone completely unworthy of someone who deserves as much praise as you and Hoseok give him."
"Well, I've gotten to know you and I have to disagree, Jimin," Taehyung angrily grunted out. "You're amazing! It upsets me that you think otherwise. Why do you feel that way? Especially when it clearly isn't true."
"But it is true, Taehyung. I know it is. My sire used to tell me all the time that I would never be as good as the man he'd made me to replace. I didn't even want to be a vampire. I wasn't dying. I wasn't seeking it out. I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time with a man I didn't know was a vampire and who was lonely. I wasn't even chosen because he liked me. He just picked me because I was stupid, and willing, and convenient."
"That's horrible," Taehyung replied sadly. "Did you love him? Your sire?"
Jimin shook his head. "That's the worst part. I didn't. I never did. I was just bound to him because he made me into this," he waved a hand over himself. "and I only went with him that night because I was exploring the desire to be with men in a time when that was not accepted. I was scared and he offered a chance to try it without judgement or fear. So I went with him and I lost everything because of it."
Taehyung choked back his tears as his friend dropped his face into his hands. "I'm so sorry," he rubbed circles into the vampire's back. "You didn't deserve that. And you didn't deserve him saying that you weren't good enough. You are. And I know that Jungkook is willing to show you that you are. Jungkook isn't like your sire. He cares. About everyone. A little too much sometimes. He's the reason we don't hunt humans anymore and why we just drink from the blood bank. Said he couldn't stomach hurting people."
"I'm glad he's such a great guy. I really am grateful to be fated to someone so amazing, but I can't get close to him. I just can't. If my true mate got close to me and said the things my sire said, I'd be devastated and I don't think sitting with an eternity of that kind of hurt sounds all that appealing," Jimin admitted tersely.
"Jimin," Taehyung began hesitantly. "What sort of things did your sire say to you that made you feel this way? You said he made you to replace someone else. That you weren't as good as that man was. What sorts of things did he say?"
Gulping, Jimin spoke the words living inside him, degrading him from the back of his mind, out loud for the first time. "He used to tell me that I was too fat. That I was stupid and worthless and that I was nothing more than a useless toy to him. I was a hole to stick himself into and nothing more. I was less than human in his eyes. Sometimes he would use me as an easy meal. Until he finally decided to turn me even after I asked him not to. Then he tossed me aside as if it were all some cruel joke. It was consensual for the most part, but looking back on it now, it feels almost as if I was tricked into saying yes each time."
"Oh god, Jimin!" Taehyung was crying now, tears streaking down his cheeks as he listened in horror at what his friend had been through. "Oh god. I'm so sorry. I understand now. I understand why you don't want to open up. Why you're so scared and skittish. You've spent the last breaths of your life and the first years of your afterlife being abused. Oh god."
"What was his name?" An irate voice growled through gritted teeth behind them.
"Jungkook!" Jimin shouted, startled by the man's seemingly sudden appearance. "How long have you been there?"
"Long enough to know that I'm going to have to end an afterlife. His name, Jimin," Jungkook snarled. "What is your sire's name?"
"I...Jungkook, please. Please don't. It's over. It's the past. I will never seen my sire again. That I can guarantee," Jimin's face dropped, head falling as he watched his hands fiddling in his lap.
"And how can you guarantee that?"
Jimin took a deep breath and admitted, "Because I killed him."
***~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***
(1119 words)
A/N: Yeaaaahhh. It's looking like there may wind up being four parts instead of the three I initially promised.
So I had planned to make Yoongi his sire and make him a not-so-bad guy and then him and Hoseok get together because they were true mates, buuuutttt...the story didn't want to take that turn so I just let it do what it wanted. We'll see how it goes from here because it's slightly derailed from what I had planned. Oh well. Sometimes writing is like that.
Guess we'll all have to see together where this thing winds up going in the next one, Lovely Army's!
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Me, Myself, and Jikook (Jikook Oneshots)
FanfictionJust a compilation of random, sporadic short Jikook stories because I have no time for a proper story, but I still want to write. I also sometimes don't have the mental capacity for a full story. Anyway...just a bunch of cute, fluffy, sometimes sm...