TITLE: Lust of Love
WRITTEN BY: DaisyDayNew2
REVIEWER: AakritiPathak
FIRST IMPRESSION:
>> COVER: There is a famous saying going around in Wattpad Review Shops, almost all the reviewers say this in one of their reviews – "Don't judge a book by its cover" // This is not valid when it comes to books, literally. People do judge a book by its cover. If a cover is stunning, a reader will click on the read option. As simple as that. Having attractive graphics is always a plus point. Talking about your book cover, it doesn't hold interest. Neither one can get a glimpse of the storyline, theme, or genre, nor does the font or background image seem fitting with what the plot promises. Given the intense personalities of both Aakash and Viraj, a cover showcasing either men, or anything symbolic (royalty, or business chains) may have garnered more attention. Even better, trust a Graphic Designer to make you a beautiful and aptly fitting Cover.
>> TITLE: I've deduced this title in a way where both Aakash and Viraj are keen on achieving a different kind of passion, love, and connection. This strong want almost feels like lust for something. In this sense, the title seems justified. Though, it's quite a cliche title if you roam around in the Romance genre!
>> BLURB: I'll talk about your story after this example of a famous novel's blurb:
"Afghanistan, 1975: Twelve-year-old Amir is desperate to win the local kite-fighting tournament and his loyal friend Hassan promises to help him. But neither of the boys can foresee what will happen to Hassan that afternoon, an event that is to shatter their lives. After the Russians invade and the family is forced to flee to America, Amir realizes that one day he must return to Afghanistan under Taliban rule to find the one thing that his new world cannot grant him: redemption.”
This blurb is of Khaled Hosseini's "The Kite Runner", and it easily conveys all the exciting points without revealing much. If we talk about the key takeaways of this blurb, here is how it goes:
1: The blurb introduces Amir and Hassan (main characters among many others).
2: It gives a glimpse of normality (kite tournament).
3: It shows the turning point (Russian Invasion) from where things will possibly go downhill.
4: Amir's goal is shown – he seeks redemption.
Now, readers are bound to question how Amir will achieve this, what will happen, what happened to Hassan, etc etc. Give just enough info to tease your reader.
Returning to your story, the key points that I could draw out from the blurb:
1: Main characters are introduced. We know the story is going to be about Aakash and Viraj.
2: Who are they both? – somewhat clear. One is a businessman, the other is a Royal maybe.
3: Their goals – unclear
4: Turning point (Conflict of their journey) – unclear.
What are Aakash and Viraj seeking individually? Of course, you don't have to clearly state this, but give a glimpse. Once you've established their goals, now by the end of the blurb give readers a hint of what stands in their way (Family? Society? Past experiences?).
Try out different versions of blurbs and see which one fits the most.
STRUCTURE
Since there are only five chapters as of now, I do not think it's the right time to comment critically about character development, plot development, or the bond/connection establishment. Let's go with whatever content we've till now.
Opening: Strong, bold, and impressive opening chapter.
Strength: Descriptions are your forte. You know how much information has to be given in one scene, and also how darker you want your characters to appear. Reading the first chapter alone, I could get a hang that the writer knows their way, and they can manipulate, add, and remove events as per their wish. It's a good thing – to be in control of your storyline. Aakash is a cocky bastard, one can say this after reading the first chapter. His actions and his dialogues are enough to establish his traits and personality.
