Blue Fire by Annalisadonkor
Reviewer : RavingBlack
PLOT
Is there a clear goal/direction?
The plot of a romance book hinges on the development of the romantic relationship between the two main leads. In this respect, it is obvious that the book is centered on seeing Nicole and Travis becoming a couple, but some parts of this are a little bit unclear. If we're looking at the basic elements of any book, then we have the protagonist's desire and the antagonistic forces. Nicole should be pushing the events of the book because she wants to accomplish a goal/protect something/obtiain something/etc. There should also be an antagonistic force which makes obstacles in her path to reach her goal.
Starting with the "protagonist's goal", I have some confusion about that component of Blue Fire. What is the desire/motive that drives Nicole's actions so far, and what goal is she generally working towards? Giving Nicole a more clear goal/motivation is important because she is a major factor in the plot. A protagonist that does not work toward her goals and simply reacts to events as they come instead of trying to produce her own results makes for a weaker protagonist. What I mean is that so far Travis is the one initiating all the important events; he finds her at the movies and forces her to watch with him, he takes her out to a club in New York, and he even texts her to come see him afterschool for dinner. These are all events important to the development of their romance, but Nicole didn't have a hand in creating or influencing them. As of right now, the plot lies entirely in Travis's control despite the fact that Nicole seems to be infatuated with him. Giving Nicole a little bit more agency and motivation in regards to what her main goal is could show readers what to expect from the plot since all we can do is hope that Travis shows up to progress it. Perhaps Nicole is looking for a love interest that treats her with more dignity than Dylan had. Or Nicole wants something completely unrelated to romance. Letting Nicole take some initiative about the relationship could make the plot a little more interesting. It's more exciting when we have an active protagonist as opposed to one that's passive.
As for the antagonistic forces, I think that you could tailor it a little bit more to suit the story. Antagonistic forces often fall into two categories: external and internal threats. An external threat can be an individual, a society, or nature, but many stories also feature internal threats alongside or replacing the external threat in which the protagonist battles their own flaws. For example, Pride and Prejudice has many external threats impeding the protagonist, Elizabeth, from her desire to find a husband that she could build a happy life with. Some external threats include her mother who urges her to lower her standards and Mr. Darcy's relatives who attempt to prevent her marriage with him. However, the protagonist also faces internal threats, too, in which her own stubbornness and pride sabotage her from realizing that Mr. Darcy is a better match for her than she realizes. The entire novel is driven by Elizabeth's desire to secure a good husband, but the external and internal threats are what force her to grow as a person to be able to reach that goal. If Elizabeth never had to confront her own stubbornness and effortlessly procured her dream match, then she would never grow as a character and earn her happy ending. I go through such detail in this example because I believe that Blue Fire could use better antagonistic forces.
The purpose of an antagonistic force is to present an opportunity for growth and development in a character. As of now the current antagonistic forces don't seem to fit her well. Travis has unresolved emotional baggage and only sees Nicole for her similarity to Rachel, and Raine also seems to want to prevent their relationship. How do these antagonistic forces induce change in Nicole? How does she need to change herself in order to overcome these obstacles? I believe that reflecting a little bit deeper on who Nicole is as a character would help you answer these questions. If you define Nicole's flaws and desires as a protagonist, then you could make a proper antagonist that will force her to develop and grow.
