Nightfall Survivals by CalmGuy9
Reviewer : Gise_lliana
CHAPTERS READ: 9
Cover and Title: 3.5/5
The cover of the title is pretty simple. Even though it somewhat reaches the bare minimum standards of a cover it is not exactly eye catching. The fonts used are very good but the background and layouts could be enhanced more in order for it to be excellent.
Title was apt in accordance with the storyline. It was truly intriguing and didn't let the reader's get an idea about the actual plot which in turn was a brownie point here.
Blurb: 5/5
The opening line of the blurb was just fantabulous! It grew curiosity as well sort of anxiety about what the story would unfold. The first paragraphs and the following matter were very accurately written capturing the reader's attention to it's core. This was one of the best blurbs I ever read.
Plot and Structure: 5/10
The structure of the story as well as the sequencing of the scenes and the paragraphs was quite greatly aligned. Which was one of the remarkable things about this story.
Even though the construction was great in terms of structure but the plotline remained a little unsettling to me. The beginning and the end both were written hazily which actually diminished the content and did not really made sense all throughout.
How did Devika survived when Yash himself couldn't was a huge question in itself. Given the fact that it was a period of lockdown and the whole place felt abandoned. How did a man suddenly discovered them and she survived made very little to no sense.
Also, you talked about hypnotism but yet the very idea is unacceptable given the fact that one who is hypnotized generally is unable to control themselves. Meanwhile Yash who was fine in the morning but acted otherwise as soon as the night fell. This can be probably lack of knowledge on my part. Therefore the concept needed to be explained in detail.
Annika being Devika's friend yet locked her in a house with a monster. This action was never justified nor mentioned about clearly. Therefore in conclusion, most of the events that take place are not justified or in other words not properly explained that makes it very confusing and unsettling in the end.
Character development: 1.5/5
There is little to no character development in either of the characters. Even though it's a short story most of characters and their behaviors remain unjustified and doesn't make sense. And the protagonist Devika seems to be entangled in her life with no proper explanation for her actions. Also she knows about Yash being a monster yet her emotions are not effectively portrayed. One moment she is fearing him and the other time she becomes lightheaded and carefree. Alot of things remain unexplained which has higly affected the quality of the story.
Grammar and Vocabulary: 3/5
There are not many grammatical errors in the story. Except for few minute spelling errors which could be avoided by proofreading. Moreover, you've also mixed present and past tenses in the sentences which have made most of your sentences and phrases incorrect. Working on eliminating those can help improve the content alot.
Overall enjoyment: 5/10
Total: 23/40
