Eclipsial Love by AniV012
Reviewer: GiselleJaneZee
CHAPTERS READ: 6+
Cover and Title: 2.5/5
The cover of the book is not really good, it is more like a collage than a book cover. It lacks the basic format of how a book cover should be. It's too simple to attract a reader.
As for title, it is creative! For relevance with the storyline, I feel you are trying to potray that just like an eclipse where a moon and sun meets, in the similar way the main characters of the story belonging to different background and having very different lifestyles fall in love. This is the only conclusion I could draw out of it.
Blurb: 2/5
Initially, the few lines of the blurb were very well written. It did piqued my interest! But the construction amd structure of the blurb was not at all proper. Also, the last lines were grammatically very incorrect. For eg: 'Are they going along' & 'Are they will be a good friend' is grammatically inappropriate, it should be 'Will they get along and become good friends.' You need to work on your blurb to make it more perfect.
Plot and Structure: 3/10
The plot itself is a little confusing to begin with. If Awensha, the female protagonist has bought the house then its given Taehyung, the male protagonist has to move out of the house. And I never saw Awensha permitting him to stay. It was the so called landlord who cannot be considered as such since Awensha technically becomes the lord of the house.
For structure, it appears like a picture book to me more than a novel. The emojis and pictures are used to describe the emotions felt by the characters rather than the words. No doubt, it successfully conveys the emotions to the readers but this cannot be considered as Art Of Writing. Since a novel requires good words as well as descriptions which are supposed to make one imagine the written text in their minds.
The paragraphing as well as quotations are not upto the mark. It required hard polishing as well. I have also brushed through recent chapters and it seems you are working on your text. The recent chapters do have a reasonable and proper structure as for descriptions you still need to build on that.
Character development: 1.5/5
Character development of both the characters is very fast paced. I do understand it is a love at first sight story but considering how comfortable they become in just one day is rather impractical.
Grammar and Vocabulary: 0.5/5
It will be agonizing to read but there were many grammatical errors. The phrases used as well sentence construction were very poor. Moreover, you have used short forms for example: you has been written as u. There are many spelling mistakes as well. For eg: cheesy has been misspelled as chissy. You need look out for these and work on your vocabulary as well. There were no quotation marks used while the characters were conversing. These basic things are important for any novel/story.
Overall enjoyment: 2.5/10
The book needs alot of refinements. You need to work on grammatical errors and structure as a prerequisite. The plot was okay and bit impractical. An advice, you should read other fanfictions available on wattpad to get a better idea.
Total: 12/40
