Two Halfs of One Warrior • Obikin/Vaderwan One-Shots

A Man Cannot Be Too Careful in the Choice of His Enemies

• Summary: Obi-Wan and Anakin try to have a romantic relationship even with them being on different sides, the Jedi and the Sith.

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“You want me so bad it makes you look stupid,” Obi-Wan Kenobi said as he twirled his lightsaber like he always did. He probably thought it made him look capable, maybe even cool, but it was just as annoying as he was.

And he was the most annoying Jedi – no, sentient being Vader had ever had the displeasure of meeting.

He was always saying terrible things like that, so used to his toothy grin and adorable little dimples charming everyone and their mothers into doing what he wanted. When he wasn’t clashing ‘sabers with Vader (using Soresu of all forms), he was taunting him with flirtatious words, twirling his padawan braid around his finger and popping his hip out to rest a hand on it.

In other words, Obi-Wan Kenobi was the worst. And it was this very strong feeling of dislike that made Vader red in the face, and not the man’s insinuation.

“I do not!” he cried, sounding so childish he was surprised he hadn’t stomped his foot and pouted. Obi-Wan always brought out the worst in him, he was just so terrible.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to admit it,” Obi-Wan shrugged as he started walking in a circle. Not fond of feeling like caught prey, Vader mirrored him, the two of them stalking the other. Though, while Vader sneered over at Obi-Wan, the padawan was still sporting an easy, amused smile. Vader wanted to swipe it off with his lightsaber.

“The only thing I want is you dead so I don’t have to hear you talk ever again,” Vader growled, tightening and loosening his grip on the hilt of his lightsaber.

“Oh, but Vader,” Obi-Wan straight up purred, tilting his head down so he was looking up through his lashes. “There are so many other ways to get me to stop talking. I mean, I wouldn’t be able to talk if my mouth was full, would I?”

“What-!” Vader squeaked, losing his footing for just a minute as his face burned with how red it suddenly became.

When news had spread that Master Qui-Gon Jinn had taken on a padawan, Vader’s master began training him even harder and warned him to be wary of the new Jedi-to-be. “Qui-Gon Jinn is a very powerful man in the living Force,” Sidious had said, yellow eyes eerily glowing in the shadow of his hood. “If he truly has taken on a padawan, the youngling must have shown great potential for great power. You must never underestimate them, and you must kill them the second the opportunity arises.”

No training could have prepared Vader for how…lewd the boy was.

“Aw,” Obi-Wan cooed at Vader’s embarrassment, smile sympathetic but in a purely patronizing way. “You’re so virginal it’s cute.”

“I am not-!” Vader stuttered, gripping his lightsaber so strongly now he knew his knuckles must be white. He wasn’t a virgin, though Obi-Wan was a few years older than him and grew up around other padawans; he had more time and opportunities that Vader did when it came to sex. Especially if Obi-Wan ever made his way to the lower levels of the Jedi’s home planet of Coruscant.

Vader ignored the way the thought of Obi-Wan sleeping with other people made something ugly unfurl in his chest.

“It’s alright, Vader. It’s perfectly normal to want your first time to be with someone you have feelings for,” Obi-Wan said with a knowing nod. “If you ask me nicely I just might say yes.”

“I do not have feelings for you!” Vader said for the millionth time since meeting the incorrigible padawan.

“Uh huh, sure,” Obi-Wan said sarcastically. Vader must have more self-control than his master would ever give him credit for, seeing as Obi-Wan’s head was still connected to his body.