Mafia Princess

29. drowning

TW: SUICIDE/SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

IF YOU STRUGGLE WITH SUICIDAL THOUGHTS PLEASE TALK TO SOMEONE! YOU CAN EVEN TALK TO ME! MY MESSAGES ARE ALWAYS OPEN. PLEASE REMEMBER THE WORLD IS BETTER WITH YOU IN IT!
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

EMERIS' POV

The want and gratefulness of waking up every day has been getting harder and harder as the months go on. Sometimes I want to stay asleep and never wake up. I feel like I'm drowning and the waves never slow down. Work, taking care of Aries, my family all make me feel numb. I'm going through the motions without feeling anything.

I miss my brother, Reign. I know it's been years since he passed but I never got over his death. I never will. RIP brother, forever 23. I'm now older than you and it breaks my heart that you couldn't live to see your 24th birthday. I know you're watching over Aries and I.

Aries, my baby boy, I love him more than anything. He's the light in my life. His mom would be so proud of the boy he's growing into. Being a single dad has had its challenges and it's starting to weigh on me. Lauryn is gone and never going to be able to help me raise our boy or be there during his most important milestones. I wish I could give him his mom back more than anything. He asks about her a lot lately and I can't talk about her. I break down everytime I try.

I don't want to do life anymore. I know Aries will be taken care of. He's an Angelo.

I take the knife and cut my wrists. I'm sitting on my bathroom floor and I burst into tears. Blood is flowing out of my cuts and all I can think about is the feeling of freedom. Freedom from life. Peace.

My vision is going in and out. And I eventually pass out.

RIVER'S POV

Aries' daycare called because they couldn't get in touch with Emeris. Aries got in trouble and he had to be picked up. Rue went to get Aries while Joziah and I look for Em but he isn't answering his phone. We've walked all over the house and finally walked up the stairs to go to his room. The door was closed so Jo knocked on the door.

No answer.

"Yo! Em! You in there?" I yelled. I reached to open the door and it was locked.

Joziah banged on the door and still nothing. No response.

"Move back." I say. Jo backs up and I kick the door in. We walk into his room and I look around the corner into his bathroom and see him on the floor in blood.

"EMERIS!" I yelled.

Joziah and I ran to him.
"Call 911 and Rue!" I yelled at Jo.

I can't believe this. I grabbed some towels, tore them and wrapped them around his wrist to try and stop the bleeding. He already lost so much blood. Who knows how long he was in here.

"Em! You gotta wake up." I yell checking for a pulse. "Aries needs you!" I yell on the verge of tears. I wish I knew my little brother was fighting demons. He hid it too well, probably to keep a happy life for his son. I wish I knew.

"His pulse is very weak. We need to get him to the hospital!" I yell panicking.

"Rue just pulled up." Joziah said. He was in shock. He couldn't take his eyes off of Emeris and all the blood. We hear Rue run up the stairs and as soon as he runs into the room, his face changes. Rue looks like he's about to burst into tears seeing Em.