𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐃

a matter of time

ellie's pov:

it's finally the weekend, i'm alone in my room drowning in my head as usual.

my arms ached with every move i made, i relapsed again last night.

after being almost two months clean i guess you could say i stopped caring about keeping my streak, in the end i know i'll get hurt anyway.

all that's been on my mind is my plan, my 'fresh start' as i like to call it. six more months until i'm gone, i'm more ready than anything.

i know i should be nervous or scared or anything along the lines of that like i usually am but for some reason i feel content.

me and dina haven't spoken in about a week, i stopped showing up to school because i simply can't get out of bed.

i unadded her too, surprisingly. she's getting too close and i don't like that at all.

obviously i don't have the balls to tell her that, though. so ghosting is my only solution.

my dog's been scratching at my door for what feels like hours now, it's giving me a headache. i stumbled out of bed, swinging open the door with a grunt.

my parents were still out on their trip, my dad left me a message saying to clean the house but i couldn't care less.

the orange is the new black theme song began to play from my tv, i'm convinced i'm the only person who watches this shit.

my dog curled up in my lap as i laid against the headboard, snacking on a small pack of peanut butter crackers.

my phone vibrated from my table, curious i unlocked it using my face id.

much to my surprise it was my childhood friend, abby. we haven't spoken since that night.

| abs
hey beautiful
i'm in town today, you down to hang ?
i miss youuu

| me
i guess so

| abs
great i'll be there soon, love you

| me
lyt

i threw my phone to the end of my bed as i ran to the bathroom, throwing my hair into a ponytail and fixing up my face.

i wasn't too worried about my appearance, mainly because abby's seen me in all emotions.

naked, even. i'm sure she wouldn't care.

staring at myself in the mirror for a moment i couldn't help but notice my eye bags were getting darker.

maybe dina was right about that.

brushing it off i waited on my front porch for abby, rocking back and fourth on the rocking chair.

a couple minutes went by and i heard the sound of an engine roaring throughout the yard, looking up it was abby's truck.

i always made fun of her for that stupid thing, it was so annoying having to wake up to that.

"get in bitch," she yelled from the open window.

i couldn't help but laugh as i approached the vehicle, jumping inside.

"hey baby" she dragged out, pulling me in for a side hug from the driver's seat.

"hey" was all i said.

abby's pov:

i backed out of the driveway, almost hitting the curb as i did. i wasn't very fit for the whole 'driving' thing. i just did it to look hot.

we didn't say much the entire car ride, ellie gazed out the window at the christmas lights as we passed by.

"so," i dragged out, she finally turned to look at me. "what have you been up to?"

"nothing," she replied lowly. she sounded off, maybe i'm just over exaggerating.

"you paying attention in school?"

"mhm," she hummed.

"good, good. where you wanna go?" i ask turning the corner to the local shops.

all she did was shrug staring down the people we passed on the sidewalk.

i pulled up to the local flower shop, the place we used to hangout at when we were younger.

parking my truck in front of the shop i stepped out, helping ellie aswell. she flinched when i grabbed her arm, i didn't think much of it.

i knew she self harmed, i never wanted to point it out because i was there once but it hurts to see someone i love go through the same thing.

with a sigh we walked hand in hand inside, no words said between us.

"woah, you remember this?" i say, picking up a bright red elephant shaped watering can we used to play with as kids.

she nodded, smiling slightly. "damn, memories right?" i chuckle.

i followed her around as she picked up every pot she could find, smelling the flowers.

it was cute to say the least.

i'm really worried for her, she's acting suspicious, and not in the way i'm used to.

as much as i want to point it out and try to help her i know i can't, it's not worth it.

i'm sure she can handle it on her own. i mean hell, she's still here, right?

it's only a matter of time, i suppose.

"can we go?" she approaches me, her hands in her pockets. "yeah, sure," i reply.

scanning the single item i had picked up i headed out to the car, opening the door for her and helping her inside.

"where you wanna go now?"

"home," she jumped as my engine roared.

i started my gps to her house, glancing at her a couple times. when we finally arrived, i turned to look at her.

"take care of yourself for me, alright? i care about you more than anything in this world."

all she did was nod and step out, her bag falling behind her. "love you" i called as i rolled my window down. no response.

i waited until she got in the door to leave, making sure she locked it before i backed out. with a sigh i switched my car into reverse backing out of the rocky driveway.

i turned my music back up loud, the speakers vibrating the dashboard.

i hung an old polaroid picture of us around the rearview mirror, every time i looked at it my heart sank.

she looked so happy, where did that enthusiastic little girl i used to know go?

1,028 words.