𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐃

she's in my dreams

dina's pov:

i struggled to catch my breath as i was woken up from a terrible dream, one about ellie.

in the dream she finally came back, telling me she was only gone for a little while and that she's better now. it sounds stupid i know, but for some reason that's the realest-feeling dream i ever had.

with a groan i sat up, the sunlight blinding me through the curtains as i looked around the room.

bunny was still next to me, i like to say that's ellie in stuffed animal form.

it did kind of look like her honestly, the same button nose and scrunched up face 24/7, it's the closest i'll ever get to her.

"dina, breakfast." my dad called from the end of the stairs, i wasn't hungry but i went down anyway.

i sat on the end, where i usually sit as i scrolled on my phone. "no phones at the table, but i guess i'll allow it just for today." my dad smiled.

that's a first.

i aimlessly scrolled on amazon and other online shopping apps as i waited for breakfast to be served, finally sitting my phone down as my mom came around with a giant pot of scrambled eggs.

abby sat beside me, i completely forgot she was here to begin with if i'm honest.

the table was rather quiet as my mom finally sat down, folding a napkin into her shirt because she somehow always misses her mouth when eating.

"how is everyone?" she finally asks, taking a bite from her bacon as she awaited everyone's response. "good." everyone replied except me.

"you, dina?" she turns to look at me, then everyone else. "fine." was all i said.

i poked at my food with my fork, not yet eating anything. i'm still not hungry. my appetite sort of shifted after ellie.

i used to inhale my breakfast in two minutes, now it takes me an hour to take a single bite.

if ellie was here she'd be encouraging me to eat, spoon feeding me at that. "may i be excused?" i ask, pushing my full plate towards my dad.

"you sure you're not hungry, darling?" my mom frowns, grabbing the plate and scooping the leftovers back into the pot. "yeah, thank you."

i smile softly before making my way upstairs again, locking the door behind me.

the bright sunlight shining through the curtains practically blinded me as i laid down, staring up at the ceiling.

i reached over for my journal, ellie gave me the bright idea to start writing down my feelings so i did.

but instead of writing to myself, i write to her and read it to her every time i visit.

july 2nd, 2034

it feels like ages since i last heard your voice, and although i have tons of videos of you talking i can't seem to bring myself to listen to them.

the thought of you destroys me, it's almost impossible to escape you. almost everything reminds me of you, from the sound of the beach to 'yellow' by coldplay.

it hurts to be alone.

you were in my dream earlier, i would tell you about it but it's too much to write. if only you were here
so i could tell you all about it.

— didi.

with a sigh i folded the note, shoving it into my nightstand before laying back down.

i don't plan on getting up anytime soon, i'll probably spend the rest of the day dreaming about ellie and how much i wish she was here with me.

if only we had more time.

607 words.