𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐃

while i can

ellie's pov:

i groaned as the sound of police sirens woke me up, i guess something happened down the street.

i quickly shut my window, my heart pounding as i recovered from the nightmare i just had.

i've been having more than usual, and not the kind you think.

i fear that my plan won't work, then i would have worried dina for nothing.

do i really want that?

i flipped over, only to be greeted by dina laying sound asleep beside me. "what the fuck?" i whisper, jumping out of bed.

"it's okay, i just wanted to make sure you were alright." she whispers sitting up. "get the fuck out,"

"ellie baby, calm down." the nickname warms my heart. "you shouldn't be here." i reply.

"it's for your own good, you should be happy i'm here to protect you,"

she switches on the lamp beside my bed. "so you don't do anything stupid."

i go silent, rolling my eyes as i left the room to grab a snack.

she stayed put, turning on my tv and grabbing the remote which laid on my bedside table.

i opened the fridge grabbing a small ben and jerry's ice cream cup before heading upstairs, the spoon between my teeth.

"you're sharing that with me, right?" she jokes, "i'm kidding."

i felt bad, walking downstairs to grab another spoon.

heading upstairs one last time, shutting my bedroom door behind me.

"i'm sorry about last night," she says as i hand her the spoon. "it's alright." i lie.

it's not alright, her words are still stuck in the back of my mind.

you're not normal, you're not normal.

it just doesn't stop.

i sigh taking a big bite from the ice cream, looking up at the tv as dina scrolled through my netflix.

"you like orange is the new black too?" she turns, a surprised look on her face.

"i suppose."

she immediately clicked on it, the theme song beginning to play at full volume.

i handed her the cup, allowing her to get what she wanted before handing it back to me.

"you must like it, huh?" i chuckle, watching as she struggled to shove a giant glob of ice cream into her mouth. "it's not that good."

"yeah whatever." i rolled my eyes playfully.

—

we finished the season, laying on our back as she threw the empty cup of ice cream aside.

"you know, ellie," she began, looking over at me while i stared up at the glow-in-the-dark stars my biological dad stuck up there for me when i was a kid.

"i really enjoy hanging out with you." she adds, bringing a hand to my cheek. "why?" i laugh.

i never really believe it when people say they actually enjoy hanging out with me.

i feel like they're just saying that to make me feel better.

i'm pretty boring, i'm surprised she doesn't think the same.

"because you're unique." she smiles.

"i enjoy being in your presence, wether we're just sitting here doing nothing or not."

i couldn't hold back my smile. she actually likes hanging out with me? that's a surprise.

i often have trouble comprehending the fact that dina actually likes me for me, not just my body like most of the people i've met.

it's gonna take me awhile to adjust.

i looked over, dina dozing off once again as i switched off my tv. "are you sleepy?" i ask, she shakes her head no.

"doesn't look like it."

"shut up, you're the one who was snoring earlier." i blush, bringing a hand to cover it. "am i wrong?"

"very," i lie, chuckling shyly.

she got up, pulling me into bed with her.

"it's late, let's get some sleep." she whispered close to my ear, at that moment i felt a source of comfort i had never felt before.

her voice was calm, yet steady. a slight rasp to it when she spoke.

i melted into her arms, turning over i nuzzled my head into her chest.

"goodnight, baby." she whispered once more, i felt her softly kiss the top of my head.

"night," was all i said before dozing off.

dina's pov:

i held ellie in my arms as she slept, playing with the tangles in her hair.

pulling the blanket closer to her chest i pressed my body against her hugging her tightly.

every once in a while she'd wake up, breathing heavily after a nightmare. yet she somehow knew i was still there, waiting to hold her every time she got scared awake.

she'd look up at me and smile, her two front teeth showing the most.

her smile was perfect, yet slightly lopsided which made it even cuter.

her hair smelled of vanilla, maybe a hint of coconut aswell? i couldn't really tell.

i reached for my phone, snapping a photo of us and sending it to my sister.

reading the time on my phone i squinted at the brightness. 2:06am.

we've been up all night playing video games and binging orange is the new black, i cherished every moment i got.

this was the closest i've ever been been to her, i don't think i want to leave.

she woke up once again, sitting up and looking around like she didn't know where she was.

yet when she turned around, there i was.

"hey, you're alright." i comfort, laying her head back onto my chest.

she took one last heavy breath before falling asleep once again, a slight smile across her face.

my sister finally texted back, i quickly tapped the notification.

| tal tal
just ask her out already

| me
i can't

| tal tal
and why is that ?

| me
i just cant smh

i sighed, i know the reason why but i don't feel like explaining it to her. it's almost impossible to put into words.

all that i'm focused on is cherishing this moment while i can, in hopes that maybe tomorrow i'll be able to do the same thing.

no days with her are promised.

1,010 words.