𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐃

you have to let me go

dina's pov:

i sat on the kitchen counter while my best friend jesse made dinner, we haven't hung out in awhile.

he told me i've been shutting everyone out for ellie, that maybe i should just let her go and i'd stop 'losing so many friends'.

maybe he's right, but damn. harsh much?

"i'm really worried for her." i sigh, spinning a fidget spinner on the counter.

"oh my god, would you shut up about that damn girl?" his voice got louder and louder with every word. "i'm sure she's fine, just stop worrying so much."

his words strike me silent, i know i'm going a little overboard with this whole thing.

"it was understandable the first couple of times but now it's just annoying." he chuckles, using a spatula to mix whatever concoction he created in the pan.

the smell of cooking food filled the room as his parents hauled in random packages from the front porch.

rarely ever speak to them but they're sweet or whatever.

"hey didi," his mom greeted, kissing my cheek. "jesse's actually cooking?" his dad laughed patting him on the back. "what a surprise."

—

i'm finally home after a long night at jesse's, it's almost 3am. ellie still hasn't texted me.

maybe she's asleep? like jesse said, maybe i should stop worrying so much. i'm sure she's fine.

"fuck it," i whisper to myself grabbing a tote and running downstairs. i can't leave her alone.

sliding into my nike slides i slowly opened the door, everyone was asleep. i'm sure they'll know exactly where to look for me if they do find out i'm gone.

jumping the fence which separated my neighborhood from hers i made my way down, the porch lamp lighting up my path.

of course her leds were on, the red sedan parked in the grass. she's probably awake.

"ellie?" i called taking the 'secret' route up the shed. i heard her open the window. "dina, really?" she said her face a bright red.

she looked like she had been crying, maybe she was i don't know.

"am i interrupting something?" i chuckle, pulling myself in.

"maybe," she said lowly between sniffles. "you're not supposed to be here."

"and why is that?" i raise a brow. "because i said so, that's all."

"that's not a valid answer."

she scoffs, "i don't care if it's valid, you shouldn't be here."

"you need to let me go."

she turned away for a moment, her eyes not leaving my shoes. "what do you mean?" i chuckle nervously.

"we're not meant to be together, dina. how many hints do i have to send for you to realize that?"

i pause for a moment, trying to process what she just said. "but i want it to be you." i mutter.

"i know, but you can't."

ellie's pov:

the familiar stinging feeling grows across my throat as i think of the right words to say, "you should go."

"why are you so afraid of me?" she snaps, raising her voice a bit. of course i jumped as she did so, and she immediately brought it down.

"i'm not," i snap back.

she rolls her eyes, not in the playful way like she usually does but this time more irritated. "you're not that good at lying, you know."

"who said i was lying?"

she looks up making eye contact with me, "listen, i'm not gonna sit here and go back and forth with you. if you don't want to keep this shit going then fine, i'll leave."

"but remember that when you're alone and need someone to constantly hold you every fucking second of the day, because it's not me."

she stands up, swinging open the door.

"and forgive me for saying this, but i really think you need professional help. like seriously."

all i could do was sit and listen as the sound of her footsteps grew fainter and fainter until the door slammed, she then speed walked down my driveway.

maybe i do need help, maybe i really am crazy.

i'm sure i've convinced myself that by now but part of me wants to keep lying to myself.

6 days.