𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐃

is this happiness?

ellie's pov:

my alarm blasted in my ears as i got ready for school, sighing as i got up from bed.

i haven't slept at all yet but i was happier than usual this morning, i'm praying it stays like this all day.

maybe it's from dina, maybe it's from that ice cream. i'm not really sure.

either way, i pray it doesn't fade away.

i got out of bed, heading to the bathroom while my dog followed my every move.

i leaned into the mirror, counting every individual freckle on my face to pass time.

i think i stopped at 186, hell i don't know. i feel better than usual if you can't tell. is this happiness?

is this the feeling i've been fighting for since a child?

the clock struck 5am, it's now time for me to leave.

i grabbed my favorite tote bag—the one dina got me—throwing my usual stuff inside as i popped a piece of gum in my mouth.

dina bought me another pack of my favorite gum for christmas, i've been trying my hardest not to use too much.

i headed down the stairs, a smile on my face for the first time in ages.

i was excited, to say the least. excited to see dina, as if i didn't just see her all day and night yesterday.

my school was only a couple minutes away, i began to pick up my pace.

i finally added dina back on snapchat so i shot her a text.

| me
i'm omw

| didi <3
i'll be waiting sweetheart

i blushed at the nickname, normally i'd be cringing at stuff like this but for some reason i like it when she says it.

only her, though.

if anyone else said that to me i'd probably throw up all over them.

| didi <3
i see youuu

| me
ew stalker

i looked up, there she was standing in front of me. i wasn't even at school yet.

"hey babe," i said quietly, smiling. i just recently started calling her that. "you look beautiful."

i couldn't hold back my blush as i covered my face, walking hand in hand beside her.

"i missed you so much." she looks over, resting her head on top of mine as we approached the school building.

"you just saw me, dina."

"whatever, a couple hours is too long to be away from you." she smirked.

"such a flirt," i said under my break, chuckling. "what?"

"nothing, come on." i dragged her by her hoodie sleeve to the double doors, we were a little late but who cares.

we walked in, a couple teachers greeted us as we ran to our first period. "love you," dina says, pulling me for a kiss.

all i did was hum as i stepped through the glass gym doors.

as much as i want to say i love you back i can't. the truth is i don't love her, i never did.

it's hard for me to love.

i walked up the bleacher steps, sitting at my usual spot.

to my surprise arya and peyton weren't here, i let out a sigh of relief as i handed in last night's homework.