I tell myself it's okay everyday
I lose myself to this every other time that Im alone
And I know
That I'm not
But it's so hard to just
Stand up
When I don't have to
Sometimes, I like to give up, on myself
And sometimes it's okay to just lay on the in the ground
I listen, to the wind as it passes me by
And let myself go
To just daydream the day away
There are times I just don't like to be
So ecstatic
It's confusing
The only emotion, that Im slightly afraid, other than nothing is to be happy
For so long I've accept that I'm 'good enough'
But now I'm happier than before
And it's frightening
Due to the fact that this isn't usual
I've grown tired
Of arguing
With you
My best friend
Because there is no end
But now I feel like I'm ignoring you because I don't have to talk to you
And I know that it Annoys you
That I have done this before
I don't want this to happen twice
Last time, I put our friendship on pause
And I know that I've been wanting this
But I don't want this to last for too long
But it seems that
It's turning out this way
And I don't want
To try and separate
From you
Again
My best friend
You won't leave me
But please don't loss you're head
Because if I know up who you are you'll smile and you won't protest
There's this girl in my arms
She has a title
Everything's just changing
And I see her smile
Not like before
It's a little different now
I wish I could hold her forever
And now I feel the weight on my shoulder
Why does it always come down to this?
I get it now you just don't want to give it over
All the pain that you shoulder
Just hand it over my best friend
Because I know you see everybody
They do the same thing
So just go with it
I put my weight on you
And you carry it
So give me your share
I'm just afraid
With this girl
That Im going to completely forget everything that matters
I just might focus on her
Please smack me out of it if I do so on your watch
Best friend don't leave me
Skyler please don't
You're the one and only that I would hope
So stay here forever
It's complicated I know
I tell you I love you
And you hate it
But it's different you know?
To the girl in my arms that I call my girlfriend
It's different from the girl that I held before
And it s different you know, from the girl that I will always say I trust her because I do but you're different you know?
Did you know that I care this much
If you ever listen in
To a conversation I've had
You know
You've influenced it
You're my best friend
You always will be in the end
Sometimes I want to talk to you
But you're never
I the mood and you walk off every time
There's just one thing
That I want to get clear in your head
My best friend, Sklyer
Please listen in
I love you
As the girl
I will never betray
The one that I don't understand in only one way
I can tell you what you'd say
But there are times I just want to hear it, again
Oh best friend
You know
You're the dearest, my dear.
Intro: I think I suffer from this condition called depression because being happy makes new depressed in a different way.
conclusion: Skyler hasn't said anything about me and Jean. Actually, she seems more distant now. She likes this guy named Angel but Angel has a girlfriend already as far as I know AND he fits the description that Skyler always go for. You know like, blonde, blue eyed,tall, And what ever? Yea something like that. xD. I haven't seen Ben for a while and I'm kind of happy that I haven't. He really screwed with things. I look for him tomorrow. I doubt he's there anymore.
I know I shouldn't be thinking about what would make me and Jean break up but I have thought about it and I don't know. I mean, what I did come up with is I would probably break up with her because I feel like my insecurities would take over but we have the same situation. Kind of. She only has her dad so she does what ever he says when ask. She's Asian just like me so I know that her family is going to work her in the way that they do. I do know that I thought she was lazy. I knew she was at school but when I came over to her house her dad had a list of things for her to do off the bat and every ten minutes that would pass by her dad would be yelling her name to ask her to do something else. I was really surprised. I was more surprised than I should have been due to the fact that Im Asian too so yea...
With the way Skyler is acting I just hope that nothing happens between us or that I ignore her again. I do remember doing that when I was with Lily. I completely ignored Skyler and she the same yo me but still. That's not something I'd like to repeat.
Today has also been one that is just. Blah. I wish I could sleep through it but if I do that I wouldn't be accomplishing anything now would I?
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Atonement?
PoetryWe all have regrets. We all smile. We all frown. Sometimes all we need is an encouraging word from others or seeing that someone else is also going through pain to understand one's self. In this book which consist of poems, entries, and thoughts the...